Therapist stopped communicating with me suddenly.

Has this happened to anyone else?

My therapist and I had been doing some minimal texting though the week. This began months ago. Short, quick, texts. This past week I've had a series of major issues come up, funerals, unemployment, all sorts of major life stuff. I try not to text as much as possible, but sent a couple short ones. Suddenly he's stopped replying to me all together. I don't get it. It's like we can text "how are you" and "I'm fine, see you later" but when I text something major nothing.

I want to write something about how miserable I am, but I know how pathetic that is, and how much everyone could care less and hates to hear it. Long story short, I feel like a lunatic ranting about my therapist suddenly not replying to me., but this is where my life's at right now. I have no one to talk to and am freaking out, and the one person I thought cared has now cut me off.

It's possible something pretty major is going on in his life? My T and I Email quite regularly (text sparingly) and I hadn't heard from her..... she Emailed me today saying some drama in her life has kept her from Emailing, and apologized. I understand that....

It's possible that he wants to make sure to keep things like that for your sessions, or that they might take so much time and energy to respond appropriately that he wants to save it for when you see him in person.

I've worried about him. I'm half wondering if I should ask if he's ok, but also part of me doesn't want to bother him if that's what it is...

I thought this too, but then I thought he could just say that. I don't know how therapists work, it seems mysterious, hug me, don't hug me, text me once a week, don't talk to me at all out of session. I don't know anymore.

I am in the same boat.

I just had to laugh at your comment on not knowing how therapist work because it's so true and so frustrating sometimes. But I think they work by keeping their clients best interest in mind. I would suggest that maybe you call him or email him about having an earlier appointment? Especially since you've had such a hard week it would be better for both of you to talk about it in person rather over the phone.

I think Ts prefer to discuss major issues in session rather than text or email. I think it would be helpful to at least respond with "let's discuss when we meet" so it doesn't seem so abrupt. The problem with texting is it is so personal and impersonal at the same time that lines of communication get crossed. Some people use it to communicate everything while others keep it strictly for quick superficial things. There isn't a clear etiquette regarding responding/ not responding when it comes to texting but they aren't usually regarded with high importance. A lot of people forget to check them even if they were just texting someone minutes ago because of all the distractions around them. So I really don't think it's anything about you but rather the nature of texting. You could wait and then send a more typical text just to check in and then talk about your concerns when you next meet. And FWIW, I don't think you're pathetic at all. For a while my pdoc and T were it for me in terms of who I confided to. If I was texting either one of them I would have been so insecure and anxious that it would have made me worse. I need to force myself to keep a certain distance otherwise I have a hard time. So I think the way you're feeling is so normal.

I think this is a great point. Above all I think Ts have to be mindful of how inconsistency in areas of hugging, texting, emailing, etc. affects their clients. I couldn't handle that and like things black and white: hugging or no hugging; texting or no texting. I think some Ts don't know how they feel about it either and send very mixed messages. I've read about some Ts that are pretty clueless about how deeply these details affect clients.

When this happened with my therapist it was because his phone broke. (((Hugs)))

I have been through a similar experience. My T. and I texted casually at first. Then, I texted her that I was really upset as I was sobbing in a park on my lunch break. She never responded. I addressed it at my next session and she reminded me that if it's something she thinks should be addressed in session, she won't respond. Deep down I remembered that but she had responded to other similar lighter texts. She said due to my transference, she needed to stop because of the miscommunication that could happen or hurt feelings.
So, I texted Tuesday morning about getting back an apt that she made me change to later for a joint one with my husband. Still no response and a million things have crossed my mind. I even said to my H. tonight "she probably saw it and then forgot to respond (which I have done)....I hope she's not playing mind games". I stood there in shock -that's EXACTLY what my mom would have done. Not responded because she was mad at me. Damn transference! So, I'm trying to remind myself that she's not my mom and I'm going to text her nicely in the morning to see if she got my texts. Hopefully she'll respond positively and I'll have a good weekend. Otherwise, I'll be back on here begging for you all to tell me I'm not irrational and that I'll be ok!

If anything this has driven home once again, I need to stop isolating myself. I wish everyone was as nice and predictable (relatively) and trustworthy as my therapist. Being around my family recently, I realize were all F'd up to the max. Sometimes I think more than a therapist I really just need someone not super F'd up to talk to. It's sad I'm not able to have friends like a normal person. It really is. It's this isolation that pushes me to the brink as well, which really does make keeping friends next to impossible.

Did you hear back from him yet?

No, haven't heard anything.

I thing is extra if T always replies. He has many clients and his own life and maybe you are not the only one who text him and he would lose his mind texting back all of clients who often texts him.

I understand you because time ago my T always replued to me even if I just texted him I miss him. Now he never replies except if I ask serious question. He replied when I terminated but when I came back he doesnt replie anymore.