[rep97]

I have had trouble connecting with the T's in the past. I had therapy in 2011/2012 and it went well but that ended because she had to go to something else.

But since then I have been unable to build a good client-therapist relationship with any of my T's. And I have been turned down by 4 therapists because my problems were either too advanced or their skill set didn't meet my needs.

But the main thing is that I feel therapists feel uncomfortable around me so they start pushing solutions on me or interrupt me or talk too much. In any case I don't feel safe in therapy and I have abandoned therapy altogether until I move out of my parents house(to get out of toxic environment).

Anyone else had similar experience? What did you do or did you leave therapy altogether?

Yes, my previous therapist was a little like that - she thought they knew what I wanted and suggested solutions that were irrelevant to my actual situation. I did not continue seeing her, because it just wasn't very helpful .

There have been a few discussions on these boards about silence in therapy. Some therapists, such as my current T, are not afraid of being silent for a long time. That works well for me, most of the time. It creates space for my thoughts and words to exist and take up some room, and it does help me feel safer, I think. Sometimes the silence is uncomfortable, but for me it never feels threatening - I know that other people have other experiences of silence in therapy, so this is one instance where the individual therapist's approach is going to work differently well for different people.

I'm sorry you don't feel safe. I hope you will be able to find a therapist who can meet your needs better.

[Inner_Firefly]

It must be hard that the one you connected with had to leave, and since then you haven' t been able to find one to connect with. It is so important to feel safe in therapy, and I can see why you have abandoned therapy for now. I agree it is hard to find a good therapist. It takes a lot of tries and luck to find one who fits you. I hope you are coping with your living situation. It sounds so hard.

[ThisWayOut]

Finding the right therapist can be difficult. I know there are times when I tried 4 or more therapists before I found someone I could work with.
Maybe if t's are finding your presenting problems outside of their expertise, could you narrow your search to professionals with whatever your issues are listed under their areas they work with? For example, when I'm looking for a t, I make sure to ask if they have trauma experience specifically childhood abuse, but that also are comfortable dealing with regular self harm and suicidal ideation. I've had some t's say they would not be a good fit, but narrowing my search results helped lessen that.
I hope you can find someone to connect with. Feeling date in therapy is really important.