[PaulaS]

I went to a T for three months approximately and felt that the therapy gave me more energy and new ways of thinking. (Psychodynamic therapy). Early on I said to my T that I wanted to try to extend my therapy (insurance based) and she was positive to that. I also got a statement from her that she thought that I had related to her and that the therapy was "a real therapy", that was just a few times ago.

Now, after I sent her some views on the last session, among other things I told her that I felt left out because of things she said and I felt a bit unsure about her acting in a certain situation, she has doubts about the treatment.

I thought this would just be something to talk through but instead I got to hear that she was very doubtful about continuing therapy at all!

I was quite shocked as I myself said that I wanted to find a way through to be able to continue in therapy, although I had those views upon the last session.

Her reason was that she thought that the therapy was "too much" for me and that it made me think "too much", that it was too much to handle.

I was very startled about this, how can she change apprehension that fast? Just based upon me discussing issues on the last session? How can she for three months or so make me believe that she believes in the treatment and suddenly she changes that opinion?

Shouldn´t a T see if a treatment isn´t suitable out of HER OWN judgement, not because of a client talking about how he or she apprehended a single session?

I also wonder if a T shouldn´t adapt his or her treatment to the client in some way? Adapt the treatment instead of ending it? Or perhaps it´s only some T:s who works this way.

I start to question if she just didn´t like my opinions.

[Victoria'smom]

Some T's adapt others do not. I suggest finding a new T. If one session can "get to her " that much she's not the right therapist for you.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Not all therapies work for everyone. A realistic T has to base their opinion on effectiveness off of interactions with the client. Some Ts will adapt; some will not. Some Ts are familiar in multiple therapies; some are only strong in one type.

That being said, from what I understand from your post, it is odd that she would change her opinion so quickly. It's probably best to find a new T at this point especially if your T isn't willing to work with you through this issue.

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by PaulaS

Shouldn´t a T see if a treatment isn´t suitable out of HER OWN judgement, not because of a client talking about how he or she apprehended a single session?

I also wonder if a T shouldn´t adapt his or her treatment to the client in some way? Adapt the treatment instead of ending it? Or perhaps it´s only some T:s who works this way.

I start to question if she just didn´t like my opinions.

It seems to me that what a client says about therapy is evidence that should inform her judgement, so I don't think these things are mutually exclusive.

Can you raise this as an issue with her, be straight about what you think? You might get real clarity on the issue no matter what it is. Also, the times I've discussed my unhappiness about some aspects of therapy with my T, which takes some courage to raise directly in session, which is where T is best, not in email or text, have been among the most healing sessions. I'd encourage you to just say what you think and see how she responds.

Of course switching therapists is rarely a bad option either. It just depends on what you want to work on--resolving conflicts within existing relationships or walking away from those that aren't working out for you.

I'm surprised you had this response from her. I have emailed my psychodynamic T only once and one of the things I said was that I couldn't handle the way she was doing therapy with me. We have since worked it out. She adapted and I got used to it and now love her way of doing therapy. I think that talking about the 'therapy' is quite fundamental to psychodynamic therapy.

[Utterly]

Psychodynamic therapy has indications for where its appropriate. New information may indeed provide the therapist with doubt. It sounds like its not clear cut.

That said, the idea of being dropped by a therapist mid-way would be extremely bothersome to me, though.

The bottom line is: If she feels the therapeutic method she uses will not help, then it would be against her code of ethics.

[PaulaS]

Yes, you have a point in that not all therapies work for everyone but it should be possible for a T with a lot of experience as mine has to be able to evaluate the therapy faster than within three months or more.

For me I now don´t know at all how to get into therapy again as I´ve already paid a lot and don´t have the money to start all over again. I have no insurance and public alternatives don´t exist where I live.

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

Not all therapies work for everyone. A realistic T has to base their opinion on effectiveness off of interactions with the client. Some Ts will adapt; some will not. Some Ts are familiar in multiple therapies; some are only strong in one type.

That being said, from what I understand from your post, it is odd that she would change her opinion so quickly. It's probably best to find a new T at this point especially if your T isn't willing to work with you through this issue.

[PaulaS]

I´m a bit surprised as I read about you and a lot of other people that had the possibility to talk to their T:s and to solve their issues. I´ve already tried to talk to my T and she made up her mind to end therapy, without talking to me first.

I thought it might be that way you and others describe, that o rupture in some form could lead to a greater understanding from T and to a more efficient therapy. In my case I just feel that my T ended therapy because she couldn´t deal with me having opinions. Unfortunately my T decides in my case, even if my intention was to work things out, she doesn´t want to.

Seem to be quite odd to act this way for a T?

Originally Posted by Anne2.0

It seems to me that what a client says about therapy is evidence that should inform her judgement, so I don't think these things are mutually exclusive.

Can you raise this as an issue with her, be straight about what you think? You might get real clarity on the issue no matter what it is. Also, the times I've discussed my unhappiness about some aspects of therapy with my T, which takes some courage to raise directly in session, which is where T is best, not in email or text, have been among the most healing sessions. I'd encourage you to just say what you think and see how she responds.

Of course switching therapists is rarely a bad option either. It just depends on what you want to work on--resolving conflicts within existing relationships or walking away from those that aren't working out for you.

[PaulaS]

Could you give me some examples of what you didn´t like about your therapy? It sounds like you have an understanding T that listens to your needs and wants to be there for you.

I think it´s something strange about T that suddenly wanted to end therapy, just after reading my e-mail she decided that without even letting me know. I got to know when I contacted her and thought I was to schedule a new appointment.

Originally Posted by Brown Owl

I'm surprised you had this response from her. I have emailed my psychodynamic T only once and one of the things I said was that I couldn't handle the way she was doing therapy with me. We have since worked it out. She adapted and I got used to it and now love her way of doing therapy. I think that talking about the 'therapy' is quite fundamental to psychodynamic therapy.

[PaulaS]

Yes, I understand there can be doubt but if the doubt comes with a sudden ending without being clear about this to the client I think something is wrong?

It´s both bothersome and for me it puts me in a position where I can´t get therapy from somewhere else and I´ve already spent a lot of money, now being unable to start from the beginning with a new T.

You could also argue for how long it´s acceptable for a T to do some kind of evaluation when it´s money involved. I don´t think it´s reasonable to end therapy because the therapy suddenly is said not working after three or more months.

Originally Posted by Utterly

Psychodynamic therapy has indications for where its appropriate. New information may indeed provide the therapist with doubt. It sounds like its not clear cut.

That said, the idea of being dropped by a therapist mid-way would be extremely bothersome to me, though.

The bottom line is: If she feels the therapeutic method she uses will not help, then it would be against her code of ethics.

[PaulaS]

I think it´s quite hard just making up your mind based on only one session, I think you have to know a bit more about a T to decide if he or she is the right one. But for me it´s unfortunately not about finding a new T, I don´t have the money to start all over again and feel more or less despair about the fact being thrown out. Can´t really get how a T can treat a client like this.

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Some T's adapt others do not. I suggest finding a new T. If one session can "get to her " that much she's not the right therapist for you.

Originally Posted by PaulaS

Could you give me some examples of what you didn´t like about your therapy? It sounds like you have an understanding T that listens to your needs and wants to be there for you.

I think it´s something strange about T that suddenly wanted to end therapy, just after reading my e-mail she decided that without even letting me know. I got to know when I contacted her and thought I was to schedule a new appointment.

The things I said to my T (partly in an email and partly in a very emotional session where I also expressed feelings of feeling completely vulnerable) were that I felt attacked, I felt that she decided what we talked about and that she took me onto a specific subject that I didn't want to talk to, she ignored anything I said about my dog and that when I was emotional she ignored it. Sounds terrible now that I write it all. I think my T is fabulous and we are working with all these things. I've now accepted that it is really helpful talking about the subject that I didn't want to talk about. She told me that she felt attacked by my email. This episode was a turning point in my therapy, it has all felt ok after that, I don't seem to feel attacked anymore and I am able to say how I feel about the things she says, in general, which isn't always positive ( I'm a sensitive soul).

The response you have had from your T sounds very painful.