[pmbm]

Trigger Warning (kind of SA)

So, yesterday at therapy, I was telling T about a neighbor boy from when I was a young teenager who a babysat (he was 2 years younger than I) and in the times I took care of him and his sibling, he pinched my breast a couple of times, and also made strange comments about taking baths with his mother. So, T asked me if I had ever been in contact with him as an adult, and I said no, he moved away and I never heard from him again. Well, now I live in a city Three hours away from where I grew up. So, when I got home from therapy yesterday, I looked for him on Facebook, found out he actually lives in the same city as I, and lo and behold, my T is on his friends list. I kind of want to continue my conversation that I started the other day with T, but now I am afraid she will ask his name. I find it kind of strange and freaky that he lives in the same city as I do. I was so glad when he and his family left the town I grew up in. Should I tell my T who it is? I don't want her to think I'm sneaking around on her Facebook. She has some really strict boundaries, but I'm also pretty freaked out that she knows the guy. I'm sure he is not a former client because she would never Facebook friend a former client.

[A Red Panda]

You weren't looking up your T though - you were looking up him. It's fairly natural to take a look at someone's friend list to help confirm if it's the right person or not, and to see if they have anyone else that you both used to know.

It is certainly an uncomfortable coincidence though! You don't have to tell your T who it is, but you can see that you did look him up and that you looked at his friends list and saw that your T was on it. Whether you share his name with your T or not is sorta irrelevant.