Suddenly triggered!!! trigger warning!!

Sorry, this was not appropriate

It's going to be ok. Take a deep breathe and let it out slowly. Can you take some space somewhere to try to collect yourself? If you need to, can you call t and get a quick reassurance?

I can't call her! I know she will be mad at me. I'm trying to breathe but I'm shaking so badly. I'm gunna cry, I can't. I can't do this right now!

You are safe now. No one is going to hurt you. You are with people who care about you.

hang in there

Why can't your friends know Tongalee? Maybe they would be really supportive... ?

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Why would she be mad at you? I think it's more about the trigger than her being mad at you... it's ok to reach out.

No no they can't know! They won't be supportive They'll think I'm terrible, they'll know what I did

I'm gunna throw up. I'm sorry, please I'm so sorry about this post

Just breathe. You will be ok. Nothing to be sorry for... if you can't reach out to the people around you, can you reach out to a hotline? They are anonymous and non-judgemental.

(((Tongalee)))
You are not terrible, just hurting.

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Sorry, I'm calm now. But I'm really nervous about sleeping. I know tonight will be riddled with bad dreams. I'm so scared to let myself drift off, because I know I'll slip right back into that house with them. I may be calmer, but I can still hear and feel him on me. I can hear her talking to me, "calming me down". Ugh I'm such a mess, I'm sorry

How are you doing today Tongalee? Were you able to get some sleep and calm down some more? Were you able to ground from the memories?

Hi ThisWay, thanks so much for the follow up. I'm feeling on edge and a little dissociative, but I'm better. I have a therapy appointment tomorrow so hopefully I can and week calm down a bit. Thanks again!

Did this happen to anyone else? I feel a little like a freak :/

I get triggered a lot. I also have trouble reaching out, but I've gotten a bit better about it. I don't reach out in the moment, but I will call t after, or write to her to take to next session so we can talk about it. She's helping me see what parts are flashbacks, and how to identify them so I can move through them easier. It's definitely a long process, but we're getting somewhere. I have a similar fear reaction to the thought of contacting t (or anyone really) when I'm triggered. We've figured out is linked very much to the past, so I try to keep reminding myself it's ok to reach out even if I'm scared.
I'm glad you will be seeing t soon. Hope that goes well and you can talk to her about this. Maybe you guys can come up with a plan in case it happens again.

Tongalee, I didn't read your original post before you deleted it so I don't know what was triggered or how. It doesn't matter. I got the drift. I'm so glad you're feeling a little calmer today.

In answer to your question ... yes, I've been triggered to the point of experiencing flashbacks that terrorized me. My triggers are noise, sound, something that's unexplained. It can send me into an immediate physiological reaction that happens automatically, without rational thought. It takes time and effort to calm it. I may have the reaction stopped within a few hours but it takes me a couple days to recover from it.

I guess what I'm saying is this: You are not a freak. No way. Something triggered you and it sounds like you experienced all the immediate physiological and mental reactions of a flashback.

It does get less in time, by working hard in therapy. It doesn't happen to me very often these days, but there were times ... well, everyone who's been through it knows how bad it feels.

Take care. It will get better with therapy.

Thank you two for your support. I did have a bad flashback, I've been having them all week. I'm sick to my stomach I'm so tired of all of this. To make matters worse, today's sessions was terrible. I'm sorry I feel like such a whiny baby right now. Like everything is wrong. I just feel like I'm spiraling downward :/ thank you guys for your comments and support though.