[purplemystery]

I am considering going back to therapy, but am on my parents' health insurance and really don't want them to find out. I've heard mixed things about whether it is possible to keep it a secret. If it is not possible, how many statements come in the mail per year? Would they be addresssed to me? I wonder if I could intercept them. I will not be receiving medication, so I don't know if that affects things. My issues are not severe enough to warrant going to a free clinic.

Has anyone ever been through this before? If your parents found out, how did they react? My parents are very traditional, but it's not even just their reaction that worries me. I just cringe to think of them knowing because I never let them in to private aspects of my life. I'm trying to decide if it's worth it. I would like the support of a therapist, but having my parents know would really affect my feelings of safety in my home.

[feralkittymom]

I'm sorry that I have no idea. Were you not on your parents' insurance while in school and seeing a T?

[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by feralkittymom

I'm sorry that I have no idea. Were you not on your parents' insurance while in school and seeing a T?

I was still on my parents' insurance, but at school you didn't need insurance at all, so it was completely confidential. Wish I still had that arrangement!

[NowhereUSA]

The way the insurance works in the US, the Explanation of Benefits goes to the primary subscriber (in our house it's my husband, but I open all of them). Now, they may have gone paperless, if they've gone paperless, like we have, they might only get an EOB when they owe something (other than the co-pay). The caveat is that every single claim that goes through on their insurance is generally available online. So, it depends on how often they check it. Mine doesn't say my diagnosis only that I'm in individual treatment.

My parents are the "don't talk about it" type. I suspect if I had gotten the guts to get therapy when I was on their insurance many moons ago, they would have ignored the whole thing and left me alone on it. That's what I think of when I think "traditional." Do they have a habit of hounding you about things?

Also remember, you don't have to talk to them about what's going on. If they say, "Hey, got a claim that you were in therapy, everything all right?" You can answer with, "I'm doing fine, I just needed a little extra help. Thanks for your concern, let's eat some ice cream!"

[Petra5ed]

Yes, if they read their insurance statements. When the insurance processes claims they send a letter showing who the service provider was that filed a claim (in your case the therapist). If they didn't notify then a doctor could file fake claims without ever being detected.

Why would you be scared for them to know?

[tealBumblebee]

Like you, I don't want my family to know. It's been 16 months and so far so good. If you can't go through insurance, could you consider finding a T that offers sliding scale and paying out of pocket? I did that for about a year. Once I switched to insurance, I receive insurance letters in the mail very often. At first, it was every week, but now they send one about every three sessions. So, it will probably be hard for you to intercept all of the letters.

[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by NowhereUSA

The way the insurance works in the US, the Explanation of Benefits goes to the primary subscriber (in our house it's my husband, but I open all of them). Now, they may have gone paperless, if they've gone paperless, like we have, they might only get an EOB when they owe something (other than the co-pay). The caveat is that every single claim that goes through on their insurance is generally available online. So, it depends on how often they check it. Mine doesn't say my diagnosis only that I'm in individual treatment.

My parents are the "don't talk about it" type. I suspect if I had gotten the guts to get therapy when I was on their insurance many moons ago, they would have ignored the whole thing and left me alone on it. That's what I think of when I think "traditional." Do they have a habit of hounding you about things?

Also remember, you don't have to talk to them about what's going on. If they say, "Hey, got a claim that you were in therapy, everything all right?" You can answer with, "I'm doing fine, I just needed a little extra help. Thanks for your concern, let's eat some ice cream!"

Interesting, thanks NowhereUSA. My parents aren't very technologically savvy, so they probably wouldn't see the claims online. The only thing I would need to worry about is the EOB.

So you can relate with your parents. Mine were always the "don't talk about it" type unless something big and unavoidable happened. I'm guessing that they would say something, but I'll think about it more. Maybe they wouldn't know how to handle it and would just ignore it, especially since I am an adult.

[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by Petra5ed

Yes, if they read their insurance statements. When the insurance processes claims they send a letter showing who the service provider was that filed a claim (in your case the therapist). If they didn't notify then a doctor could file fake claims without ever being detected.

Why would you be scared for them to know?

Thanks Petra5ed, that makes sense. Do you know if it would just show the name of the therapist (though I'm guessing it would also show their credentials), or would it say something like "individual therapist"? Though I suppose if there were a ton of claims for one doctor, my parents would investigate that either way.

I would be scared for them to know because I am just so private in my life. I don't want them to or feel that they deserve to know private things about me like that, unfortunately. My dad makes me feel terrible about myself for small glimpses of my issues that he sees. I try my best to cover up any sign of anything negative in my life to avoid his comments. If they knew I was in therapy, I couldn't cover it up and I feel like it would just give him ammunition.

[purplemystery]

Originally Posted by tealBumblebee

Like you, I don't want my family to know. It's been 16 months and so far so good. If you can't go through insurance, could you consider finding a T that offers sliding scale and paying out of pocket? I did that for about a year. Once I switched to insurance, I receive insurance letters in the mail very often. At first, it was every week, but now they send one about every three sessions. So, it will probably be hard for you to intercept all of the letters.

That's awesome that you've been 16 months without them finding out. Thanks, that's a good idea-- I will have to look into the sliding scale fee. Oh okay, that would be very tricky/impossible if I got that much mail.