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#1
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Has the therapist you see ever tried to take credit for/give credit to therapy for something you did that was not related to therapy at all?
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Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
#2
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My t takes health related services for his services.My health for me and his health for him !! Barter system at its best
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-If you can see it, then you can be it! ![]() |
#3
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Honestly? No. Recently I did something that would have caused a lot of hurt before therapy and now didn't even cause discomfort. I'm not sure my changing feelings have anything to do with therapy but more the passage of time. My therapist was pleased for me and said she was glad I was there.
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#4
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Perhaps it is just the one I see then. I have to keep telling her stuff she tries to take credit for has nothing to do with her or therapy.
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Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
#5
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Sounds like she has boundary issues. I think my t doesnt want any credit, nor any blame! Same for my hairdresser, my internist, my dentist...
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![]() lone_77
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#6
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I only blame the woman for what she actively screws up or gets wrong. And I have consistently reassured her that should she ever get something right or tell me something useful I have not thought of myself, that I would let her know.
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Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Last edited by stopdog; Nov 10, 2014 at 12:02 AM. |
#7
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Maybe. That would be annoying and I would not feel especially heard by that attitude.
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#8
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I would probably say yes, there are certain times where I'm overwhelmed and stressed, scared and very panicky. I tell t that sometimes during those moments, I suppose I flashback or regress , so to calm myself . I will start coloring something, or go under the covers or even lock myself in the closet for about 20 minutes. These things ground me. It's what I did as a kid, what I knew to survive.
She tells me I'm using coping skills because of the cbt skills I have learned in session . I disagreed , I take complete credit for this one, these are my learned survival skills, even if they are not healthy.
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Bipolar 1 Gad Ptsd BPD ZOLOFT 100 TOPAMAX 400 ABILIFY 10 SYNTHROID 137 |
![]() AncientMelody
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#9
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Trying to earn bragging rights off you.... you crack me up!
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#10
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Maybe your T is suffering from a bit of low self esteem and needs to do that?
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![]() musinglizzy
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#11
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I can't think of anything right now
__________________
-If you can see it, then you can be it! ![]() |
#12
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No, she doesn't try to take credit for my progress or anything else. I give her credit, though, because not only has she shared with me skills, knowledge and understandings to assist me, the way in which she interacts with me has been key to my growth. She figured out what works for me and that, I think, deserves credit.
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#13
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Sometimes the relationship between therapy and progress may not be so visible. Now, a therapist taking credit for something the client has been doing since before therapy is different. But this is precisely why it's so difficult to do research in psychotherapy - too hard to really control everything and see how much of a client's progress is related to therapy and how much is not related. It may be that you're not specifically working on a certain thing but by the way you work on something else, another aspect is impacted. Our lives are a whole and they can't really be completely compartmentalized.
As far as i'm concerned, it's never seemed to me that my therapist is taking credit for something I received from other sources, though I actually think he has an impact indirectly. What he does do is sometimes he doesn't seem to acknowledge the extent of my pain / lack of progress during certain periods / you name it. One time I was trying to tell him about a serious issue and he kept trying to show me that the way I talked about it seemed full of life (that would have been a good thing, but it really was a severe problem I was talking about ...) My first reaction was to tell him that even so, the problem was real, that I was trying to tell him something, but he kept telling me about the bright side. I just gave up talking about it that day after that ... I think optimism can be a great asset, but my therapist was pushing it that day. |
#14
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My T is always pleased when I report positive changes that roll in the direction I want to go, but he seems pleased for me and not because he is taking credit for it. I would find the later bizarre.
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#15
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It's not so much my T taking personal credit over things.
But he will point out how I've managed to change since knowing him (which I don't really see) and credits the effort that I put in to going to sessions with him (haha, seriously, going TO the appointments is still an accomplishment for me every time I go...). So it's still me that he gives credit to for accomplishing things, but he will point out how he sees me accomplishing them. If that makes any sense?!
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"The time has come, the Walrus said, to talk of many things. Of shoes, of ships, of sealing wax, of cabbages, of kings! Of why the sea is boiling hot, of whether pigs have wings..." "I have a problem with low self-esteem. Which is really ridiculous when you consider how amazing I am. |
#16
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No she does not. In fact when I use to say thank you at the end of sessions when we worked through something very difficult she would tell me she didn't do anything, I was the one that did all the work. Finally I explained to her that I know I did the work however, I was saying thank you for listening, being compassionate and patient. So now when I say thank you she says you're welcome.
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#17
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None of my t's have ever given credit for anything. In fact, they are always pointing out how progress can be traced back to work I am doing.
Stopdog, I wonder if your t is responding to your attitude towards therapy. She sounds really uncomfortable with your desire to engage in a more psychoanalytic-style therapy than she is used to doing. I think your style pushes her comfort zone to its limits. Seems she's looking for more interaction other than simply being a sounding board for your own processing and insights. I'm surprised she hasn't given in to her discomfort and given you a referral to an analyst. It sounds more in line with what you seem to be looking for from a therapist... |
#18
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No. And I imagine it would feel quite awkward if she did. She has accepted appreciation that I have given her for compassion, support, or sharing coping techniques or whatnot. I see her as a very skilled guide, but I know I am doing the bulk of the "work" as it should be in therapy. I think we both agree that my improvements have come from a combination of my medication, therapy, getting out of a bad job situation, and learning to improve my self-care.
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#19
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I never have had a T try to take credit for anything in my life, but I also haven't had a great deal of life successes while in T. My life usually gets noticeably better when I quit T
![]() ![]() I think it's a bad move on Ts part. They're supposed to be helping their clients feel better about themselves. They should be congratulating you for changes that YOU made, not pointing out what wonderful therapists they are for "fixing" you! |
![]() AncientMelody, ThisWayOut
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#20
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Yeah, my T resists when I try to give him or therapy credit for improvements in my life. He points out that all of the work is mine, and that even when he contributes an idea or an insight, I take it and run with it, sometimes in ways or at a speed he did not even anticipate. He pretty uniformly gives me the credit.
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#21
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My therapist tries to take credit for any improvements in my life but I push back on her somewhat!
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#22
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I've never had anyone take credit for my success. To do so is pretty obnoxious, I think. A T might mentor or provide guidance that is helpful to clients, but they don't do the real work.
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#23
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I haven't the slightest idea where she takes credit and where she doesn't. I'm also not sure where the credit would be redeemable, except maybe in my case notes where she may take liberties with the glory-houndedness. Something like, "ha ha, she used that skill I suggested and didn't bounce her face off the wall this time. Go me." I guess. Whatever, she can take credit. I'm not too hung up on that aspect, personally.
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#24
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Mine doesn't take credit - he usually asks me what I think was helpful blah blah blah. I see a twinkle in his eyes and imagine he's giving himself kudos
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