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#26
Nov 10, 2014, 11:11 PM
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Guilloche - I apologize if if came off as I was trying to find a diagnosis for you. Only reason I mentioned it was maybe you could at least relate and see that your combination of moods and thoughts are common. And that your T will probably understand your explanation due to it being common. That's all
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"Odium became your opium..." ~Epica |
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#27
Nov 10, 2014, 11:31 PM
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I don't see why you're even focusing on the book as opposed to the thoughts surrounding it (unless Snake Charmer's theory is correct). I think the concern for your T, and perhaps for you on some level, is that--as you say--the feeling doesn't seem real when you're not feeling it. That kind of mood/cognitive splitting can allow impulsive action. So the way to stay safe is to marshal your not suicidal part to be proactive in defense of your suicidal part. One proactive action you could take is to give up the book--or at least be willing to talk about giving up the book. Talk about finding another way to give yourself the control and comfort that the book holds for you right now.
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#28
Nov 10, 2014, 11:43 PM
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@snakecharmer--
That was a really beautiful post, it made me tear up a bit.
__________________
Your faith was strong but you needed proof You saw her bathing on the roof Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you She tied you to a kitchen chair She broke your throne, and she cut your hair And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah --leonard cohen |
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