How do you address your therapist?

I've always called my therapist "Dr. ______" Then I get to group therapy and discover that everyone else calls him by his first name. And now I feel like a big dope. I never even asked him what he wanted to be called -- just if I hire someone in a professional capacity I call them Dr. So now I'm uncomfortable addressing him and have taken to not calling him anything. I am such a dork.

Sidony

<font color="purple"> Hi Sidony,

I had a thread about this a little while ago. I find it a bit awkward, so mostly don't call her anything. She is a psychologist so "Dr." would be appropriate, I guess. She calls me by my first name which I prefer.

Since I don't have group therapy, I have no idea what her other patients call her. I would like to get up the nerve to ask her. </font>

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I never even asked him what he wanted to be called

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">
I use my therapist's first name because that's how she introduced herself to me. I use my psychiatrist's title because that's how his staff introduced him. Although it's not his full name, for example if his last name was Neunswander I'd be calling him Dr. N. It's a little more familiar.

I call her by her first name as she offered. (my T). My pdoc byt Dr. _____

I call my T by his first name. He calls me by mine. I like the informality. Also, the fact that neither of us use titles with each other makes us seem more like partners, or a team, trying to solve my problems.

Heh - this is a good question - I'm interested to read more responses.

My (European) dad was extremely strict about calling professionals by their title. My T calls us by our first names and always refers to herself by her first name when she calls us on the phone. But we always call her "Dr.". Same situation with my last T of 8 years. I am now in touch with him socially and he's still Dr. P to me, even though the client/professional relationship is over.

The weird one is my husband's pdoc, who is in our social circle, and a few years younger than I am. Our friends would have a field day laughing at us if they heard us call him "Dr. C", but he's never corrected us on it and in fact, introduces himself as "Dr. C." when he calls us on the phone, so I guess that's the way it's going to be.

I call my T by her first name. She introduced herself by her first name when we met. My pdoc introduced himself using the title Dr and I have always called him that out of respect.

Well, sometimes I call her a bit...oh wait. You meant address her by name.

T is first name. When we met she said to call her whatever I was comfortable with.

P-doc is Dr.

When I went to a psychiatrist, I called her Dr. ___ because that's how she introduced herself to me. She was much older than me and was very formal (seemed very much like an authority figure), so it seemed natural to call her Dr. ___.

I called my Cognitive Behaviour Therapist by his first name, though. When he called to set up the first appointment with me, he introduced himself with just his first name and he did the same thing when I met him for the first time. So, he set the precedent. He always wore jeans, he was my age and very casual and friendly, so it felt totally comfortable calling him by his first name.

I don't call them anything.

Sometimes I need to talk to administrators (to make an appointment or somesuch). In those cases I'll say 'Dr Lastname' if it is an appointment with a p-doc and 'Firstname Lastname' if it is an appointment with a psychologist (as psychologists don't typically have PhD's over here).

Since I'm having therapy with a p-doc now I do the firstname lastname thing if I have to ring his secretary now.

I don't think it matters...

Though I guess that there can be an up-side and a down-side of either.

- If you call them 'Dr' it can be seen as a sign of respect, or it can be seen as a way of maintaining distance / aloofness / preventing intimacy.
- If you call them 'Firstname Lastname' or 'Firstname' to their face it can be seen as overly intimate, or it can be seen as nicely intimate.

Dunno. Hard to know how they will take it really... I guess the most important thing is what it means to you ;-)

I guess I've settled on 'Dr' for meds review and 'Firstname' for therapy. Though... I try to avoid saying their name as much as possible. Doesn't really help that my current p-doc / t has the same firstname as 2 other people I know (who I talk to him about sometimes) and also... My father (though he doesn't know that yet).

My first psychologist was Dr. ___________. I don't think I ever really called him by name because I rarely use someone's name in a one-to-one conversation. My second T never told me what to call her. This frustrated me. She treated me like I was already in the counseling field which I liked sometimes. While I wish she had done a bit of an orientation to help me get to know her a little. My current T offered to let me call her by her first name in the orientation. So I do. I like that because I don't tend to want to share personal with a Miss __________.
My psychiatrist is just Dr. ___________. I don't have his first name memorized and have no desire to. So, I will just stick with Dr _________.

In my journal I use to refer to my therapist by the initial of her first name, E. I told her that once and she got angry/upset and felt I was being disrespectful. It was interesting because I saw her over a 30 year period, a couple of different times (70s-80s and mid-90's-2005) and I brought it up again, later (okay, so I have a death wish :-) and she "understood" why I had a "pet" name for her and said she'd responded poorly the first time. I loved discussing things we'd said/done the first time I saw her, the second time. I could see she had grown and changed too, not just me.

But still, I was uncomfortable calling her by her name too and avoided it if I could. She didn't have an answering service or anything, it was just her cell phone so I didn't have to worry about other people and what I should call her to them.

Hmmmm, I don't. As you may recall, I wrote before that while my therapist doesn't normally use my name in session, I don't use his name either.

But what I have wondered for a long time, is what type of degree he has? It is also of special interest to me because I'm going for my master's in psychology. I am pretty sure he is not a psychologist because he has never been referred to as Dr._____. My pdoc just refers to my T by his first name. When my T gives me an appt. card, it is a generic card that the whole center uses.... with a blank spot for the T to write his/her name. So my T just writes his full name.

I really, really want to know what type of degree he has, if it's an MSW, an MS, and if he has a certification in psychoanalysis.... I'm so curious to know... But I'm so embarassed to ask.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil said:
I really, really want to know what type of degree he has, if it's an MSW, an MS, and if he has a certification in psychoanalysis.... I'm so curious to know... But I'm so embarassed to ask.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Wow, that would bug me too. Have you checked to see if the center where you go has a website? If so, it might list the degrees of the people there. Of course, that's coming from me (The Avoider!). You should probably just ask. :-)

My therapist had his own business card which listed that he had a PhD as a clinical psychologist. So that's how I knew. If he had a different degree it wouldn't change anything for me though. He's the perfect therapist for me. :-)

Sidony

Hey Sidony!

Well I (The Other Avoider!) have gone on the website, and it doesn't list the therapists.

No matter what degree he has, it wouldn't change a thing for me. He could be a bum off the street, but he's still the perfect T for me.

I'm more curious in terms of my own involvement and schooling in the field.

But I would rather hide in the huge plant he has in the office than ask him.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil said:
No matter what degree he has, it wouldn't change a thing for me. He could be a bum off the street, but he's still the perfect T for me....

But I would rather hide in the huge plant he has in the office than ask him.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Ah, you and I are alike.



There's a whole bunch of things I'm afraid to say at any given time. Guess I'll manage eventually (or not).

Sid

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I have wondered for a long time, is what type of degree he has? It is also of special interest to me because I'm going for my master's in psychology.... I really, really want to know what type of degree he has, if it's an MSW, an MS, and if he has a certification in psychoanalysis.... I'm so curious to know... But I'm so embarassed to ask.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Oh my goodness, pinksoil, it is absolutely all right for any client to ask her therapist about degrees and credentials. In fact, I think the T expects this. Your T will think nothing wrong with it at all, especially because of your professional interest. When I first began with my T, he gave me an informed consent form to sign that also listed all his training and degrees and licensures. They really don't want to hide any of this stuff! Did you have to sign informed consent for treatment? If so, I bet it was on that page. If you can't ask your T outright, just ask him for a photocopy of your informed consent, if you didn't keep a copy. (Note to everyone: keep copies of anything you sign, in any medical context.)

Try google.

You might be able to find him in his grad student role if it wasn't sooooooooo long ago...

You could try and find out about his registration online (I think you can do that)... Or maybe even by phone (Maybe you can do that).

I call my T by her first name, that is what she wanted..I call my pdoc by her first name as well....

I was introduced to my T by her first name, so i guess if i ever had to refer to her i would use that... I called my old counsellor "Ms ____" but now we are on a first name basis as we continue to talk, just not on a professional level.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
sidony said:
I've always called my therapist "Dr. ______" Then I get to group therapy and discover that everyone else calls him by his first name. And now I feel like a big dope. I never even asked him what he wanted to be called -- just if I hire someone in a professional capacity I call them Dr. So now I'm uncomfortable addressing him and have taken to not calling him anything. I am such a dork.

Sidony

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

We are strikingly similar in our dorkiness.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
pinksoil said:
We are strikingly similar in our dorkiness.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

:-D I like it!

Sidony

I also use Dr. _____. I'm waiting for him to say that I can call him by his first name. He probably will never say that though.

I did hear another patient one time call him Dr.____. But I wonder what the majority call him...

Now that we've had this discussion, I was noticing how my therapist uses my name. I don't use hers when I'm speaking to her. She uses mine when she's playfully challenging one of my thoughts because she wants me to think about it. It's kinda funny how she does it: Miss Winter Rose or Miss Winter does that sound reasonable?

It is interesting that you bring up the topic of how your T says your name because this is something that I am actually struggling with in my therapy. I find that if my T says my name in the manner of Sunshine come on in when it is my turn to come into his office or when I first sit down he will say So Sunshine how was your week? Those times I don't have a problem with him saying my name but there are times when I am in the middle of remembering things from my past or in deep emotional pain and tears are streaming down my face that he will say my name almost softly as in to comfort me and it just sends shivers down me and makes me feel weird. I can't really describe it but something is triggered in me that I can't quite put my finger on yet.

Of course I can't tell him this because I don't know what the feeling is exactly just something not quiet right is all I keep thinking.....maybe like a whisper from my past or something. Who knows?

Thanks for letting me rant and ramble