[magicalprince]

edit: sorry nvm

[CANDC]

hope it works out okay for you.

[musinglizzy]

Originally Posted by magicalprince

edit: sorry nvm

I am too. Hope it gets better for you!

[magicalprince]

Thanks guys. It's really sweet of you both. I deleted my post because I decided I didn't need help. I kind of always feel like that, I want to rely on someone for help but I don't know how to need it or what that would look like. The story was I left my ex T over countertransference. I tried to let my emotions out in therapy and I got cut off because she was not comfortable with her own emotions about me so she had no way to give effective support for my emotions about her. So a 2 year relationship just withered away the second I tried to really really need it. Maybe I demanded too much of her. But I cared about her so much and I left feeling shut out and sad but I thought I could move on ok... instead I'm feeling so alone. I'm afraid that if I see another T its just going to be the same thing over again, but the emotions I'm holding back are so severe and I really need the support.

Anyway, thanks again for the thoughts!

[Lauliza]

I'm sorry about your experience. Did she tell you she could no longer help you or did you sense it from your Ts behavior? Sometimes a different type of therapy can be helpful, like CBT or group therapy, if one that emphasizes the relationship ends up too painful. Either way, I think your feelings will fade with time and with proper support in your life.

[magicalprince]

Originally Posted by Lauliza

I'm sorry about your experience. Did she tell you she could no longer help you or did you sense it from your Ts behavior? Sometimes a different type of therapy can be helpful, like CBT or group therapy, if one that emphasizes the relationship ends up too painful. Either way, I think your feelings will fade with time and with proper support in your life.

She didn't say she could no longer help me, but she did say that she couldn't provide me with what I needed from her. But yes, it was in her behavior that I felt it first. it's not that I couldn't take the relationship it's that I couldn't take it being obviously withheld from me.

Unfortunately I need someone to do trauma work with so i think the alliance is important. It never felt safe to truly delve into trauma and to need her like that and honestly I felt like she was (maybe unconsciously) avoiding my trauma so I never opened up too much. At most I gave the cliffs notes versions, no emotional component.

I might contact a new T today... fingers crossed...

[Inner_Firefly]

I am so sorry, hope you do contact the new T today. Your ex T sounded like she wasn't right for you. I hope you find a good T to take care of you and help you with trauma, and never make you feel sad and shut out.