My T has taken to saying "How would you like to spend this time?" which I absolutely hate. It makes me feel under a lot of pressure, as though I ought to have a plan. I usually respond "I don't know until I get started." or something like that, but it makes me feel like I have already failed before I've started. I would much rather he sat down and said nothing and waited for me to start talking.
How does your T begin the session? What do you find most useful?

We shake hands and say "hi" and then he waits for me to start. It can take 10 minutes or more before we actually start talking, though usually it's more like five minutes. I like getting that space to think, and start breathing properly.

My first T, a dozen years ago or so, would say approximately "you are here now", every single time. That annoyed me.

[ThingWithFeathers]

My t first asks me how I am and how my week has been. This usually results in me examining my anxiety, depression, triggers, flashbacks, SI and sui issues during the week (during a bad week this would take up the entire session). If my week has been reasonably uneventful, we might spend a couple of minutes in small talk. After that she asks me if there's anything I want to focus on that day. I always say no. Then she makes a suggestion, and away we go! She asks me a lot of questions to keep me talking. I like it that way.

[harvest moon]

My T waits for me to start talking. He very very rarely initiates the conversation and if he does (has only happened a couple of times in the 5 years I've been seeing him), he'll say something like 'how have you been?' He says it's important to let my say whatever comes to mind. We have occasionally spent a good 5 minutes before I said something. Sometimes I hate it and find it extremely cold and intimidating, but I mostly agree with his approach and understand why he does this.

[Raging Quiet]

"And how are you?"...

Originally Posted by Mastodon

My first T, a dozen years ago or so, would say approximately "you are here now", every single time. That annoyed me.

Wow that would annoy me too. I think I would benefit from the space and quiet you describe at the start of your sessions. I will have to tell T I think.

[BonnieJean]

We say hi and sit down. She waits for me to start. We can be in silence for several minutes while I try to change gears from a day at work and rushing to t. It is very rare for her to speak first but when she does she asks "how are you?" in a comforting sort of way.

[Willowleaf]

We also say hi and sit down. Then she waits for me to speak which often annoys me as it can mean half the session in silence. Recently she has realised how much of the silence I spend dissacociated so if I start to do it now she will often say something just to check I'm still there so to speak.

[granite1]

my T's new thing is to bring me into the room sit in her chair and just look at me . I hate it and it seems like it isn't going to change . I feel so humiliated and horrible as she is doing this .I don't know what I did to make her change to doing this .she doesn't even say hi

Originally Posted by granite1

my T's new thing is to bring me into the room sit in her chair and just look at me . I hate it and it seems like it isn't going to change . I feel so humiliated and horrible as she is doing this .I don't know what I did to make her change to doing this .she doesn't even say hi

Sorry you're going through that. Clearly it makes you feel unsafe; have you told her how you feel? I would like to think when I tell my T I don't like the question he will stop asking it. It's your money so therapy should be your way.

My T says nothing, she didn't used to even smile, I'm not sure if there is more of a slight smile now. She waits for me to speak, she used to give me a look that sort of insisted I spoke, but I don't see that anymore. We have talked about the start I think she would adapt if I couldn't stand it, I always start pretty much straight away, I prepare things to talk about. I'm happy with it.

[Freewilled]

We say hi in the hallway after he comes to get me. When we get in his office, I ask how are you? He will say good and ask me how I am. I will say okay Then he usually asks me if there is anything from last week or any of the previous sessions I would like to continue discussing.........I think it's because I struggle with continuity.

[ThisWayOut]

We greet in the hallway. I always have my stock response of "good" if she asks how I'm doing (just an automatic answer, unless I'm really, really not good, then I simply smile). I'll ask her the same. Sometimes she asks what I did the past week. Other times she has questions or something she wants to bring up. I have trouble starting things a lot of the time. Sometimes I just hand her something to read or art to look at if I don't know how to say what I want to. She's not a fan of silence. I've had to ask her to give me more time to respond sometimes, but she's also getting better at figuring out when I'm stuck and can't find the words, then she'll try to help me get out whatever I'm trying to say.
I think I would be made very uncomfortable by a lack of greeting and a huge silence at the beginning of the session. I certainly can handle silence during, but I need a little help getting started most days. There have been times when she asked me how I'd like to use the session, but I almost always say I don't know (also an automatic response for me, but that's a question that has me stuck out of old fear).

[MoxieDoxie]

"Hi, How are you? Have a seat" as if I needed an invitation to have a seat. T keeps in touch with me during the week and will bring up something I mentioned to target for the session or for EMDR.

He smiles at me as he opens the door. He follows me mostly back to the office and says, "let me get you some water," and detours to the water cooler. He comes in and hands me a glass of water, grabs his cup and fills it. Then he sits down, I hand him the check, he smiles and picks up the file and asks me about my mood. Then he asks me for "thoughts about our agenda." I tried for a while to get him to switch to a word other than agenda, because to me, an agenda is something I have to FINISH (like at work), so having the same agenda over and over feels awful. He switched to "focus" for a while, but he forgets after a few sessions. I figure he has been using the same word for over 20 years, so it's probably really hard to change.

This sounds weird but, I am not really aware of how we start, although we always say hi. I'm not sure who starts. I am usually very chatty, but I have a session on Monday so I am going to make a mental note. How interesting eh?

[ScarletPimpernel]

T comes to the waiting room and tells me either "Scarlet" and signals for me to come back, says hi and I say bye, or she asks me if I'm ready to which I respond no. In the hallway, she'll make small talk about something. Once we get to her office, she either expands on the small talk or asks me how I'm doing or how was my week.

I don't understand why some of your T's do a silent treatment. I wouldn't be able to stand that. The only time my T is silent is when I'm talking, she's thinking of how she'll answer a difficult question, or if I'm extremely upset and crying (it's just to give me space/time to cry and let my emotions out.)

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

T comes to the waiting room and tells me either "Scarlet" and signals for me to come back, says hi and I say bye, or she asks me if I'm ready to which I respond no. In the hallway, she'll make small talk about something. Once we get to her office, she either expands on the small talk or asks me how I'm doing or how was my week.

I don't understand why some of your T's do a silent treatment. I wouldn't be able to stand that. The only time my T is silent is when I'm talking, she's thinking of how she'll answer a difficult question, or if I'm extremely upset and crying (it's just to give me space/time to cry and let my emotions out.)

I think it's about the 'blank slate'. It may sound terrible, but in reality I think it is really effective, my therapy is really going somewhere, I'm not standing still. My T conveys her warmth and her personality once I get going. It might sound that she is distant, but I find her the opposite.

[Rainydaiz]

I've had exactly the same problem. I just tell her not to and that I need to start
It's not been as much of an issue of late as I've been less anxious at the start of a session.

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I don't understand why some of your T's do a silent treatment. I wouldn't be able to stand that. The only time my T is silent is when I'm talking, she's thinking of how she'll answer a difficult question, or if I'm extremely upset and crying (it's just to give me space/time to cry and let my emotions out.)

I don't think "silent treatment" is the best way to describe what my T does. He is not silent in order to punish or provoke me, it is a respectful silence that conveys that he is waiting for me, and is prepared to wait for as long as it takes. And when I find the silence too much, I let him know and he helps me get started.

That is not to say that I have never felt the silence uncomfortable. I have. And I know (and he knows) that this method is not helpful for all clients. But in general it works really well for me. It is the first time in my life that another person is sufficiently intrerested in what I have to say to actually wait for as long as it takes. And that is rather awesome.

[Ford Puma]

sitting in silence.

[phaset]

She says "so how have you been since our last session?" I know she asks that every time but I never think of an answer ahead of time. I think I'm too vague when I answer it.

[doyoutrustme]

He makes me start. Which puts way too much pressure on me, because I can tell he puts a lot of weight into the first thing i say.

[nottrustin]

After we say hi or whatever, she will ask me how I am doing. I pretty much always say okay. Sometimes she will move on to asking bout my week. However, if my facial expressions say I am not okay she will say "okay no how are you really doing"

Here lately we say "good morning" and then dive right in. Ain't no time to waste with 25 minute sessions! Sometimes she'll say "so I got the dreams you sent..." and I take it from there, sometimes I respond "Good morning and can I just start?" And then I do.