[Willowleaf]

Hi, I am wondering if posting here might make me feel a little less isolated but I am aware that if I am not careful the opposite might happen. I've decided to take the plunge so my dilemma.

Firstly let me tell you I do not have DID. I have been working with my t for years and she has been making me more aware of different parts within me. I have fought this tooth and nail! I had read stuff on the internet about this kind of thing and integrated family systems etc so I was aware of it, but I still was very resistant. A few weeks ago I came across a copy of the book 'The. Flock' it is about a young woman with. DID. There are some queries about its authenticity but that is irrelevant as it was the story that resonated so much with me.

Last night in my session I completely lost the plot and I remember my t talking to different 'parts' of me. At the time it seemed ok, but today I just want to curl up I am so ashamed. I feel like I am going quietly mad. Does anyone else have experience of this? In the past I have noticed some different aspects that emerge in therapy and I could cope, but last night she was talking to me and asking to talk to one part , then another and so on and I just went with it and it seemed normal. Has anyone else done this? Do I need to be worried?
I have emailed my t with my concerns but she won't pick up until after the weekend, hence my attempt at allievating the feelings here.

[Tongalee]

I like this question because I think it is important to understand what "parts" are according to those who use the terminology. I also struggle with this idea of a fragmented self, and though I am working through this, both my therapist and I agree that I do not have DID either. I recently read an excellent piece by Janina Fischer on dissociation and trauma, which outlined her understanding of the fragmented self. It is not that one person struggling with trauma and dissociation develops multiple different people inside the whole, but instead that there are portions of your thought processing abilities that are frozen around certain circumstances and experiences. So one thing that I take from this is that perhaps instead of a therapist saying "can I talk to this part, can I speak with that part," the correct wording should be something more like "what experiences do you think are contributing to your thinking this way? Can you come into contact with the memory or experience that keeps hold of certain beliefs making it hard to think of this in another way?"

This maybe a little difficult add I'm sure I'm not being very articulate in my understanding if this complex topic, but one example I might give is this:

As a child I was sexually molested by someone I cared for very much and trusted. This had left part of me feeling deeply untrusting and frightened to let anyone close. Being an adult ish person, I recognize that not all people are badand unworthy of trusty, however, there's sill that experience in me that is stuck in that manner of thinking simply because it's easier on some levels to feel this way than to release that idea and be hurt again. When my therapist addresses that part/easy if thinking she terms it the young child part, which is solely due to the fact that I was young when this experience molded that way of thinking. When I speak from that experience and those memories, I tend to do so as a young child because the language I have to understand it is young. If I could put adult language to it, and adult thinking to it, it would perhaps diminish the thought. I think in some ways that's the work.

I hope that answers a small part of your question. Everything seems pretty normal to me, but if it's upsetting to you tell her so you can work together to figure out what would be best

[CANDC]

Willowleaf, thanks for "taking the plunge" - a grief or worry shared is cut in half by everyone we share it with.

I am not well learned on DID but found a link in PC
Dissociative Identity Disorder Symptoms | Psych Central

In therapy I have had the t talk to different parts of me. Sometimes it is difficult to focus on all that is going on. No worry no shame. You are who you are and that is a beautiful thing.

In another thread this morning Thich Nhat Hanh talks about the inner child suffering
Healing the Inner Child in Thich Nhat Hanh?s words | Rising Above Trauma

I tell myself whenever things get bad that I have got through things before and I will get through them again.

We are multifaceted beings. There is a child in us, a teenager, a young adult, an old person, a rebel and a conformer. We are full of so much words do not encompass it.

Whatever you are going througn, hope you have the courage to keep sharing. Sometimes just by our braving failure and trying, we succeed no matter what the result.

Thanks for your post it resonated with me as how I feel about my therapy this week is that as a rational adult the things we talked about are fine, but a part of me seems to be terrified and that part is the terrified child. I would like my T to understand this. It seems fine to me what your T is doing, it sounds like it could be really helpful. I would like to do it.