[Zenjunkie]

At age 55 Seeing a therapist for the first time. Minor relational issues control issues sexual anxiety. Married 24 years but in open relationships with other boyfriend her girlfriend me. I have ADD to.

Session starts off positive, With just supposed to be a get acquainted session. but tends to go starts going downhill within 15 minutes or so over intense questioning.

The issue at hand was me having recent intimate conflict with my wife. Which I suspect may be associated with some control issues or sexual problem issues that are reoccurring from our past. Can't get my head around it which is why am there. I love her and most of the time hard sex has been very good.

Also I have a tendency to spend a lot of time online and political discussion forums and just casually surfing around online dating sites certainly a tad of OCD.

Well the solution he had – after 20 minutes was that I needed to cut off the relationship with my girlfriend at all online activities to focus on my wife. I'm not a professional, but this almost sounded like cutting off your leg because you got a wound on your knee, hoping everything will turn out alright after that.

I want to make my life better not change it so I ask why it had to be all or nothing situation. Where he became visibly upset and suggested kind of in a low voice that maybe I should see what else someone else to address my needs better

He would not even set another appointment instead I need to call you to set up one later which of course he never called. He would barely even look at me would not shake my hand when I left

Is this what I'm supposed to expect from a professional? I was nervous to go in the first place and now you tell me that I need somebody special?

Any thoughts?

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[JaneTennison1]

This T is not the T for you. They knew it, didn't handle it the best but is good to get out now. What struck me in what you said was 'I want to make life better, not to change it' to make better is to change one way or another.

[stopdog]

It sounds like that therapist's problem - but at least he told you. They are not all good at all situations.

[boredporcupine]

T's are not supposed to impose their own values, but some are better at not doing so than others. You're better off seeing someone else, believe me.

[lostwonder]

He saw that he couldn't be your T with your lifestyle choice. Chances are it triggered something in him. Not your problem. Be grateful that he recognizes that and cut you loose.

[HazelGirl]

It sounds like you dodged a bullet with that one. Don't let it bother you, and keep looking for someone who is willing to help.

[pegasus]

Hello Zenjunkie,

I think this therapist has ducked out on you but there are some valid issues here. You've been married for 24 years and took vows, your wife has a boyfriend and you have a girlfriend. It can't continue like that. Feelings all round get mucked up. There needs to be a solution. The therapist came up with a solution that you didn't like. What are the alternatives?

[stopdog]

I would be very, very wary of a therapist who,started trying tomfix someone in the the first appointment. I don't want them trying to tell me what to do ever, but even if one does want that- the first appointment seems a bit off.

[Zenjunkie]

I appreciate everyone's response. Neither my wife or I, want to go back to monogamous relationship and I told the therapist this. However when you have Open relationships, jealousies or other issues and so forth can pop up. The ideas is to talk about them deal with them and move ahead . I've discuss this issue with my wife (because she obviously knows about it) and together we are unable to going to issue and how to resolve it. That's what I was hoping for for professional help. Things are getting much better between us, but I still want to seek professional help to get some other things (Many for my entire life) ironed out as well. I will keep looking.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk