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#1
Dec 04, 2014, 09:30 PM
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The worst part of PTSD is that the memories don't leave me alone, especially when I want them to. I was cooking this evening, and it's always triggering to me because of how many memories include me being yelled at and put down and criticized while "helping" people cook. Spilling things, making a mess, not reacting fast enough or not reading a parent's mind on what they want and where it is, would all cause a tirade of yelling. And it's all playing through my head tonight. I hate it. I want it to go away. But it doesn't, ever.
Ugh.
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HazelGirl PTSD, Depression, ADHD, Anxiety Propranolol 10mg as needed for anxiety, Wellbutrin XL 150mg |
 angelene, Anonymous37844, Bill3, brokenwarrior, Depletion, JaneC, Middlemarcher, Partless, pbutton, precaryous, RedSun, ThisWayOut
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 shamon86
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#2
Dec 04, 2014, 10:03 PM
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I'm sorry you are struggling with that tonight. Memories can be hard to escape...
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#3
Dec 05, 2014, 02:27 AM
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Try to remember where you are and what you are doing. When I get triggered like that I like to lay down in the dark and feel the bed and the blankets. I try to breath and remind myself that I am at home--my home, and that is a safe place. And I am in my body and I am the one controlling it. If I need to I let myself cry.
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Your faith was strong but you needed proof You saw her bathing on the roof Her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you She tied you to a kitchen chair She broke your throne, and she cut your hair And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah --leonard cohen |
| JaneC, RedSun
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#4
Dec 05, 2014, 07:56 AM
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when that happens in regards to something you are doing maybe try to acknowledge the memory and do something else for a bit and the return to the task. I find the more I try not to think about these things the more I do. it sucks I know .
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BEHAVIORS ARE EASY WORDS ARE NOT  Dx, HUMAN Rx, no medication for that |
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#5
Dec 05, 2014, 10:40 AM
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Ikwym. For a while there, i was telling my t that it felt like the st valentines day massacre guys were waiting for me in my kitchen, waiting to gun me down. As late as last week, i was using the kitchen to deprive myself - i had thought about buying some packet splenda for my tea, but i thought that extravagant, so i kept the counter messy where i would have put the packet holder. Im not even really aware of these stupid games i play with myself. T tries to make me aware of feeling good when i do something i like in the kitchen, but even that can be worrisome. I think you have to just try to make it a habit. When i got back home from the hospital after my stroke - after only 3 days, 2 nights - it was soooooo comforting to me to be able to make my familiar little canned chicken and prepared guac sandwiches - i felt like i had a routine.
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#6
Dec 05, 2014, 12:36 PM
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HG, I say make a big mess while you're cooking and enjoy yourself doing it. It's your mess, your kitchen and your life.
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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'... At poor peace I sing To you strangers (though song Is a burning and crested act, The fire of birds in The world's turning wood, For my sawn, splay sounds,) ...' Dylan Thomas, Author's Prologue |
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