Shocked

precaryous · Nov 25, 2014, 01:55 PM

I don't know where to post this. It's not exactly "Grief and Loss."

My sister in law has been fighting cancer for a few years. She became suddenly worse last night and is in intensive care, I guess. My brother tells me they are thinking of moving her to hospice at that hospital in a day or two? My brother and sil live several states away. At least their son, my sil's parents, and sil's brother are all there together.

I know it's not about me, but as sick as we knew she was, she was still pretty active. It's a shock. She is several years younger than I am.

I called T, so she knows.

I wish there was something I could do.

stopdog · Nov 25, 2014, 02:19 PM

Sorry to hear.
It can be like that. My person was in some pain but walking and biking and so forth when they discovered the cancer had spread everywhere.
It can be very sudden.
And quite shocking.

AncientMelody · Nov 25, 2014, 02:37 PM

Goodness, I am so sorry to hear that.

Soccer mom · Nov 25, 2014, 02:43 PM

That's tough news to hear. Hospice is wonderful and will ensure she receives good care through some very difficult times. Glad you are already seeing a T. so she can help you move through your grief.
You can be supportive of your brother - check with him often and don't think you are bothering him. He will appreciate your interest. Maybe send flowers to her room and/or send her cards. The worst part is when people don't know what to do and avoid the situation all together. My mom passed away in May from cancer and was in Hospice. I learned a lot through that experience.

precaryous · Nov 25, 2014, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

Sorry to hear.
It can be like that. My person was in some pain but walking and biking and so forth when they discovered the cancer had spread everywhere.
It can be very sudden.
And quite shocking.

That's what happened to sil when it was dx a few years back. She had slight neck pain. She tried to pick up her 12# dog and her arm broke in a very odd place. Body scans showed she had thyroid cancer and it had metastasized to the bones and lungs. She has put up a valiant fight with grace, optimism, and dignity.

Me, I whine and complain loudly when I don't feel well.

She put away her "cut down" laced sarcasm and replaced it with kindness. She made a practice of paying for other people's orders at take out places, for example.

I'm still processing the news. Things could change for the better.

JaneTennison1 · Nov 25, 2014, 02:55 PM

I'm sorry to hear this. My friend had cancer but was stable for several years before it took a sudden turn, it is a shock that you cannot prepare for. Sending you love.

precaryous · Nov 25, 2014, 02:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AncientMelody

Goodness, I am so sorry to hear that.

Thank you very much. I don't know what to do or say.

precaryous · Nov 25, 2014, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soccer mom

That's tough news to hear. Hospice is wonderful and will ensure she receives good care through some very difficult times. Glad you are already seeing a T. so she can help you move through your grief.
You can be supportive of your brother - check with him often and don't think you are bothering him. He will appreciate your interest. Maybe send flowers to her room and/or send her cards. The worst part is when people don't know what to do and avoid the situation all together. My mom passed away in May from cancer and was in Hospice. I learned a lot through that experience.

Thanks for this.

I am kinda socially awkward and am afraid of imposing. I had to ask T if I should call my daughter at work to tell her what little I knew. (T said, "yes.")

I'm glad you said not to worry I am bothering my brother...I have spoken with him once and will check back in maybe tomorrow. Otherwise, I was just going to stay out of the way.

Im sorry about your Mom.

My mom was in hospice, too. I wish I had it to do over again.

Nov 25, 2014, 03:06 PM

I am so sorry to hear that, what a shock (hug) sounds like your silverware has made peace with herself and those around her through her pain and suffering and has fought a long and hard battle. I wish there was an easy way to go but there isn't. I am sorry that it's so hard

HazelGirl · Nov 25, 2014, 03:11 PM

I am sorry.

Raging Quiet · Nov 25, 2014, 04:50 PM

Thinking of you. xx

precaryous · Dec 10, 2014, 02:17 PM

Update- my sister-in-law rallied and has been released from the hospital's hospice. She is at home. Her mother was helping take care of her at sil's home...now sil is well enough, her mother went home a few days ago.