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  #26  
Old Dec 07, 2014, 07:37 PM
PaulaS PaulaS is offline
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Location: Spain
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This is a very important aspect on the matter of choosing a T. I will ask the question about transference when I continue looking for a new T. I got interested in what kind of situations you got into when you didnīt know about how your T:s handled issues around transference? I agree that handling transference issues is a key to successful therapy.

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Originally Posted by Restin View Post
As I'm always saying, I think the most important thing about selecting a T for any medium or long-term problems is to know something about how he/she treats Transference if it happens (and probably will). I've seen so much agony and heartache (including myself) because the T turns out to be punitive or ignorant about your attachment/transference problems that can come up.

I think it's important to read up on Transference and know what it's all about. If you had a heart problem, you probably would want to read some books, find out just what kind of heart problem you have, and pick a doctor who specializes in what you've got. Psychotherapy isn't just a relationship,( tho much of it is), but is also a technique the therapist has learned, and some are severe about your transference on them. I can't take any more severity. or ignorance!
I know it's hard to ask up front, and the on-line info is sketchy, but it's cruisin' for a bruisin' to go in blind about transference, in my opinion. I've been bruised quite a lot until this last T I've been seeing.

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  #27  
Old Dec 07, 2014, 07:41 PM
PaulaS PaulaS is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Spain
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Interesting story. I donīt know how Iīd reacted really as youīre not supposed to ask personal questions about your T. My former T had a minor accident hurting her leg, she told me, but I never asked any questions around it as it never became a question of her cancelling sessions. But if I saw my T very sad or that sheīd be crying I think itīs almost a natural thing that you ask about it, even if you wait to ask until the next session or later on.

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Originally Posted by Stone Serenity View Post
Several years ago I showed up to my session to see my T sitting at her desk through the window with a huge pile of used Kleenex in front of her and she had obviously been crying a long time. She opened the door an she was sobbing and couldn't get her self together. Even though I was really having a hard time myself I suggested that we reschedule. It was kind of off-putting. I never did know what happened. I think I want my T to be tougher than I am, and competency is important to me too. I know she was just human but I felt kind of weird about her after that. You never really know what is going on with people though.
  #28  
Old Dec 07, 2014, 07:48 PM
PaulaS PaulaS is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2014
Location: Spain
Posts: 344
Interesting viewpoint. My former T told me she would be showing real feelings during sessions because thatīs how she is. I donīt think she meant crying and yelling but more of showing feeling sad if she felt sad about things I told her or happy if I told her something more positive about my life. I think for me itīs one of the most important things, that a T can share his or her feelings and to share a story from his or her own life it has something to do with my own story and my own issues.

I see some people look at it differently but itīs still very interesting hearing about what others experienced and learned about their T:s.

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Originally Posted by Lauliza View Post
It has never been a fantasy of mine either and I always figured most people in the field go into psychology due to their own experiences. So I kind of assume most Ts are as messed up as anyone else. My T friends have some big issues in their lives so there is always a lot of stress. They are highly professional however, so those issues don't go anywhere near the therapy office. If my T were crying in her office I would prefer she take care of herself and have the receptionist reschedule me. I wouldn't want to see my T sobbing in the office and I doubt she'd ever let me. It's not that I don't care about them, but I don't really want to know much about my T or pdoc's personal problems unless it would of help to me.
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