[lunatic soul]

I imagine T living his life. He was wife and children, he has life, he has sex, he has holidays with his family and he has his job. He has many clients, some men and some women but women go to therapy more often then men. All of us sometimes are tired of our job no matter how much we like it. All of us see money in our job no matter how much we love our jobs, we wouldnt work for free.
T sees us once a week but works everyday and sees someone every hour.

Why the hell we have illusion we are special? Why the hell we have delusions that T loves us? Or if he loves and I think its just attachment to client why do we imagine he lloves only us when there are many other clients too? Yes we dont see how T talks to others, we dont know how much email he gets for a week from his clients.
Do you really think that T has a time to think about all of his clients during a week if he has his own life and his own problems? Maybe his children are ill at this moment.

If your T is so attractive and most of clients used to have transference have you ever thought how much of his clients are trying to seduce him? Maybe he even doesny have tp be very attractive and women will love him because he is a T. He has so much attention from clients.
Maybe he wants f*** some of them esspecially if he feels lonely and there are attractive wwomen desperate for sex with him.
He can feel llike a movie star. So admired from his clients.

Do you know what is worse? That some of delusions victimswant to die because of pain caused by transference. You go to T to get help but it leadsyou to suicide. Not everyone but I have read posts like that.

Have you never felt like a teen fanning about a movie star? It really remindsme of this.

I didnt want to make anyone feel bad, I dont judge anyone. Its how I feel and what I think. Im also victim of my own delusions like many of us who love their Ts sso much when they evendont know who they are.

Sorry for grammar.

Its just my thoughts that I wanted to share. These are thoughts which make me want tto run away from therapy.

[unaluna]

I like your posting too. This is a bit of a problem with therapy.

[SnakeCharmer]

I completely agree. Good posting. From reading your posts for months, I know this is heart felt from you and it represents PROGRESS! Good job.

[Lauliza]

Absolutely, this is a great post. I think this is exactly what it can be like for many T's, especially people with that "alpha" personality type.

It's such a set up- women do seek out therapy more than men, and I'm sure plenty of them are very attractive. Then with that you have the issues many women can have: low self esteem, finding their worth through their sexuality, troubled marriages...it's an open invitation for sexual tension in some form or another. And as stereotypical and generalized this will sound, the risk is much higher for the male T - female client scenario than vice versa. Not saying it doesn't happen the other way around, everyone has their weaknesses. Still, from all I've learned (and all the research that's been done) the male T scenario is the much riskier one.

[SabinaS]

Yep!

Though the pain of not being loved, doesn't originate in therapy - if it did, it would be easier to say, F that I'm out of here. The pain is much deeper and comes from much earlier experiences... so I guess that's what needs to be thought about a bit. Although personally, I know about that stuff... and it still hurts. Maybe that's why they call it working through

[Perna]

I think people are people and Ts are not some super breed better than I am. Yes, they may be better at communication with others, have more self awareness and self assurance but I think they like whom they like (which can include me) and have clients they prefer to see and those that are a chore (like filing or other paperwork :-) and I think a client who is working on their mental health can tell the difference between what they wish and what is "real".

My T genuinely liked me. I did not bother with the I'm-more-special-than-other-clients consideration, other than when I was otherwise fantasizing There is nothing at all wrong with wishing to be special! We all wish that with some people and not others, that's how we make friends and find lovers, and hope our family develops into, etc. Therapy, for me, is learning how to work with the wishes and desires I have and my perception and self esteem, etc. and getting them to all work together so I am centered and balanced and focused on me and my life and its optimization.

Having a crush on my T was helpful at times. Wanting to please someone and moving in that direction when I trust that person can help me learn what I need to learn about life, to experience things I need to experience to be "whole". Whether or not my T had a crush on me, back was not important! All that is important in that instance is that the person is trustworthy. My T was more balanced and self aware and I learned those things from her for myself and my own life by observing her, modeling myself after her, communicating with her. That's the whole point of therapy for me.

[lunatic soul]

Im really suprised that you say its good post, I was waiting for judgement.

I have always had thoughts like that, thats why I hate myself for loving him, thats why Im sick of therapy.

[lunatic soul]

Originally Posted by Perna

I think people are people and Ts are not some super breed better than I am. Yes, they may be better at communication with others, have more self awareness and self assurance but I think they like whom they like (which can include me) and have clients they prefer to see and those that are a chore (like filing or other paperwork :-) and I think a client who is working on their mental health can tell the difference between what they wish and what is "real".

My T genuinely liked me. I did not bother with the I'm-more-special-than-other-clients consideration, other than when I was otherwise fantasizing There is nothing at all wrong with wishing to be special! We all wish that with some people and not others, that's how we make friends and find lovers, and hope our family develops into, etc. Therapy, for me, is learning how to work with the wishes and desires I have and my perception and self esteem, etc. and getting them to all work together so I am centered and balanced and focused on me and my life and its optimization.

Having a crush on my T was helpful at times. Wanting to please someone and moving in that direction when I trust that person can help me learn what I need to learn about life, to experience things I need to experience to be "whole". Whether or not my T had a crush on me, back was not important! All that is important in that instance is that the person is trustworthy. My T was more balanced and self aware and I learned those things from her for myself and my own life by observing her, modeling myself after her, communicating with her. That's the whole point of therapy for me.

Are you talking about T who had sex with you or another T?

Of course T can like some clients like we like our classmates, teachers, coworkers etc. "Like" doesnt mean very much for me. I like many people no matter who they are

[Victoria'smom]

I liken therapy to school teachers. You have your favorite teacher. Most teachers have hundreds of students a day it doesn't mean they don't think of their students when they come home or even a particular student who struggles.

[NowhereUSA]

My T is hot.

He also works with teenagers. I'm sure more than one of his teenage girls probably bat their eyelashes at him - particularly since more than one come from rough situations (or I'm guessing since they need therapy). I remember in my first adult DBT group with him, he left the room and someone else was like, "HE'S SO HOT!" and then fangurled all about it.

I think he's hot. :: shrugs :: I also know he likes me as a person and if we move would like to stay in touch and that he doesn't offer that to all his clients. However, I guess I don't have romantic feelings for him, so... idk. It's different. I can feel affection for and an attraction for and not want to have a romantic relationship with... but I can see how someone would feel that way towards him and I'm sure probably a few of his female clients do.