[Yearning0723]

I want to ask her specifically to start tomorrow's session by getting right into the stuff we started talking about at our last session about emotions and showing them in front of her...I don't know how to ask it though. What I really want is for her to give me an opening to talk about the attachment stuff, because I know I won't bring it up if she doesn't, but I also know that she won't if I don't tell her to, and I know I won't be able to direct the conversation that way at the beginning of the session, so I want to pre-empt that...but I don't know how to ask.

Hello Yearning: Could you perhaps just send her a copy of what you wrote here? That would both tell her how you want to begin the session & also alert her to the fact that you feel uncertain as to how to express it.

[catonyx]

I would also just send a copy of your post above.

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[ThisWayOut]

what Skeezyks said, just copy what you wrote here.

I agree. I send my t an email sometimes just to say "Remind me to talk about X" or "Don't let me avoid talking about Y". It works!

[Yearning0723]

Part of me is scared...

[coolibrarian]

It's OK to be scared.

[Yearning0723]

Sent, and it literally took me until the middle of the night to feel comfortable sending it...I don't think she'll mention that, but I am nervous now that I did something wrong...

I said this:

I just wanted to ask if we can jump right into what we were talking about on Friday about showing emotions in therapy (and probably about attachment stuff too – I think that’s a talk we need to have). I think when you start by asking me generic things like how my week was or about what I’m reading in the waiting room, it makes it harder for me to switch gears and talk about real stuff that we need to talk about, and easier for me to just talk about easy, fun stuff like my flags game (which, incidentally, I managed to get 178/197 on…so I have literally learned 152 country flags in two days). But yeah, at least for our next session, we should probably talk about serious things that are impeding my progress in therapy instead of fun but unimportant things such as my epic success at geography games…so if you could start our session off that on that note, I would appreciate it.

[Freewilled]

It sounds good to me, yearning. I think that the part of you that is afraid needs to be able to express those fears to your T.

[Bill3]

Good message!

[Mike_J]

I think you put that very well..

I'm sure that therapists struggle with the best way to start a session with a client, some people need to ease into things, for others it's best to jump right in. So giving some feedback can only help.

I hope it goes well for you today and that you are able to open up emotionally and not hide behind your intelligence, which can be a barrier.

[Yearning0723]

She didn't email back yet, which makes me nervous that either she read it and thought I shouldn't have sent it (or just that it didn't warrant a response) or that she isn't going to check her email before our session (in three hours) and then I will feel embarrassed about sending it. Usually she checks her email like 1000 times throughout the day; other than when she was away on vacation, the longest I've ever had to wait for a response is a couple of hours, sometimes just minutes, so this is odd.

[SnakeCharmer]

That's a good email! Just to be on the safe side, make a hard copy and take it in with you. Just in case. I take absent-minded Ts as par for the course. If she starts out asking you about your week you could say something like you wanted to talk about what you wrote in the email. Then hand it too her.

Every single one of my Ts has been old, one was really old. So maybe my experience with absent-minded Ts doesn't represent usual life.

That was a very nice email. Not pushy, straight-forward, and quite lightly covering info about your flag game so it doesn't even have to be brought up in session out of polite inquiry about what you've been doing. You did good.

[Yearning0723]

Originally Posted by SnakeCharmer

That's a good email! Just to be on the safe side, make a hard copy and take it in with you. Just in case. I take absent-minded Ts as par for the course. If she starts out asking you about your week you could say something like you wanted to talk about what you wrote in the email. Then hand it too her.

This would be sort of awkward...I know it's what I should do, but regardless, I know I'm probably not going to do it...

[kraken1851]

Yearning, it's a very good email. If she doesn't mention it, simply ask her "did you get my email" at the beginning of the session. If she didn't, giving her a hardcopy would be a totally non-awkward thing to do. Bring a printout as a backup, just in case, even if you don't feel like giving it to her.

My t never responds to emails (unless it's scheduling stuff), but at the beginning of the session mentions something like "you sent me an email" and then we talk about that.

Good luck for your session!