[HazelGirl]

My T's mother-in-law has lung cancer and from what my T mentioned to me today, it's spread to her lymph nodes. My T said that her mother-in-law is one of her favorite people on the planet. And it makes me so sad to know that she is dealing with someone she cares greatly about having cancer, and that she will quite possibly die.

My T is going out of town to be with her next week while she has surgery, and I will be missing a week (possibly more due to the holidays). And although I wish that wasn't the case, I wish even more that this wasn't happening to my T and her family.

I don't really have a point.

It's just a reminder that awful things happen to everyone, and that sometimes we can't do anything about it.

[kaliope]

it is sad that this is happening to your t and it is nice that you have compassion for your t. however it is unprofessional for your t to be disclosing her personal life life with you in such a depth that it is causing you to worry. you have enough burdens of your own. this is not fair.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by kaliope

it is sad that this is happening to your t and it is nice that you have compassion for your t. however it is unprofessional for your t to be disclosing her personal life life with you in such a depth that it is causing you to worry. you have enough burdens of your own. this is not fair.

Or - she is letting hg know why she will be gone - the whole truth. Thats what families do. Thats not what OUR families did. Hearing the truth and being INCLUDED is sometimes what we need. Being excluded is what hurts - it means we dont matter to the rest of the family, that our feelings really dont matter. Here the sadness is shared, and thats what families do. Thats what the t is modeling, imo.

My t shared when a family member recently had surgery, and how he handled it. Partly because he felt his role was to keep peoples spirits up, so he shared the jokes with me, but that was interesting because that is often my role. People dont seem to be able to think on their feet around a hospital bed.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by hankster

Or - she is letting hg know why she will be gone - the whole truth. Thats what families do. Thats not what OUR families did. Hearing the truth and being INCLUDED is sometimes what we need. Being excluded is what hurts - it means we dont matter to the rest of the family, that our feelings really dont matter. Here the sadness is shared, and thats what families do. Thats what the t is modeling, imo.

My t shared when a family member recently had surgery, and how he handled it. Partly because he felt his role was to keep peoples spirits up, so he shared the jokes with me, but that was interesting because that is often my role. People dont seem to be able to think on their feet around a hospital bed.

Exactly. My T had previously mentioned that her MIL was recently diagnosed with cancer in response to something I had said. And this was her following up, and explaining why she wasn't available next week. She didn't and doesn't ever make it about her, but it is an opportunity for her to model and show me what healthy sharing of burdens is about, and how it works.