[nervous puppy]

After 13 years I told my T that our session the other day was our last. I th. k it was the hardest thing I have ever done.
She has stage IV pancreatic cancer that has metastasized to her liver and peritoneum. She plans on practising as long as she can. She told me 2 months ago, but we've only had 3 sessions in that time.
I already met with a new T who seems very nice.
I've been shedding a lot of tears over the thought of never seeing her again. So hard.

[nottrustin]

OMG.. I am so sorry. I am sure it was very difficult and it will be for some time...

[growlycat]

I am so sorry.

[CrimsonBlues]

I am so sorry, nervous puppy. Please take care of you. Sending you a big hug.

This is heartbreakingly sad. I am so sorry.

[MrPink182]

Wow, that had to be hard to do. Could you and her keep up with each other through email, basically asking her about her health and whatever issue you have? 13 years is such a long time. I have seen my T for 8 months, and the thought of saying bye is so hard.

[peaches100]

Originally Posted by nervous puppy

After 13 years I told my T that our session the other day was our last. I th. k it was the hardest thing I have ever done.
She has stage IV pancreatic cancer that has metastasized to her liver and peritoneum. She plans on practising as long as she can. She told me 2 months ago, but we've only had 3 sessions in that time.
I already met with a new T who seems very nice.
I've been shedding a lot of tears over the thought of never seeing her again. So hard.

Hi Nervous Puppy,

I'm so sorry about this! I can imagine how hard this must be for you to go through! 13 years is a long time. I also have been in therapy that long, so I understand totally how attached you can feel and how difficult it is to think about letting go. My t will be retiring in the next year or two, so I will need to terminate also, and the thought of it is so scary! So I really feel for you! I think it's harder in your case because of your t's very poor health. I realize that it may have felt best for you to cut the ties now, so that you don't have to witness her getting any worse, etc. But since you had such a long t relationship, do you think, in the long run, that still keeping in touch briefly via email might help you learn to let go more slowly? Or is it best for you the way you did it? I'm very glad you have another therapist now to help you process the feelings of grief and loss. You are in my thoughts, Nervous Puppy! So many hugs and strength I'd like to send your way!

Peaches

[feralkittymom]

I feel very sad for you, puppy. And I think I somewhat understand. I had a long therapy and my T chose to retire due to a health crisis, which was not assumed to be imminently fatal. As hard as it was, it was the right thing for him to do both for himself and his clients. While it's understandable that your T wants to continue, I think it's only helpful to her clients if she's working with them toward termination. But it doesn't sound like that's what you were doing. What would have been the conceivable result if you didn't choose to terminate now? One day, she just wouldn't show up for a session, or you would get a phone call? That's not fair to you. Perhaps your action will cause her to rethink her decision and choose to retire. If she would do so, and she were willing, maybe you could stay in touch through e-mail, not as therapist/client, but simply as two people who share a mutual affection and concern for each other. That's been my situation for many years, and it can be rewarding for both of you. I really hope you can find a way to be comforted through this.

[RTerroni]

WOW after 13 years, that must feel very hard.

I remember leaving a Therapist who I saw for 4 years and that was really hard for me.

Wow I am so sorry, I can only imagine what you are feeling right now and it must be very difficult I am glad you are finding new support in another t

[nervous puppy]

OMG I am so glad I found this place. So much support! This helps so much to find others who understand! Where I live it's so taboo to have to need therapy that it has to be a big secret. Thank you all for the supportive and kind words. They mean a lot!