[MrPink182]

Or do you just like to talk and just have them listen? I think I prefer a T that is more engaged in the conversation, than one who is more quiet and just listens. I think that is one thing I like about my new T, but I am going to give my new T a few more sessions before I let go of my original T. I'd hate to lose my old T if this new one isn't any better.

I do like engagement and questions, but only if the questions/comments are original and related specifically to me—not tired old stock questions that they've clearly asked thousands of times before.

I hate being asked How does that make you feel? Usually, I have already indicated how I feel and/or it's asked about something they are trying to make more out of than exists. My current therapist does not ask stupid questions, but others have. But I do like a little more interaction than just myself rambling on.

[stopdog]

I don't usually mind questions - it is their opinion or unsolicited advice that I cannot abide. If they ask me a stupid question like how does that make you feel - my answer is usually (and truthfully) fine or less fine.

[BlessedRhiannon]

I prefer my T to be more engaged and ask me questions. I can talk all I want, but unless I'm presented with different ideas or with questions, I may not actually stop to think about what I'm saying. If I don't have feedback from T...well, I might as well just talk to my dogs or write in my journal.

[gloamingone]

I definitely like my T to be engaged. Active listening is so important in therapy!

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[SnakeCharmer]

I prefer engagement and actively learning ways to deal with whatever is troubling me when I'm out in the rest of the world. To me, it would be a waste of time to have a T who just listened. But for others it's a vital experience because they never had anyone ever truly listen to them or care about what they said, thought, felt or believed. Different people have different needs and that's why it's good there are so many types of therapies and Ts.

[MrPink182]

I love it when they ask me real questions about what I am talking about, not how does that make you feel?

I feel like when T's are quiet, it gets uncomfortable at times and I feel like I am forced to make up some type of convo.

Sometimes, their questions are how I can tell if they've been paying attention.

[ThisWayOut]

I prefer engagement, but sometimes I need t to just listen. I think it's pretty hard for a lot of people to be OK with just listening... I've had a few t'so who talked note than I did, and that was annoying, but I do like interaction.
I have trouble identifying my feelings, or recognizing that I should be feeling something over certain events. I think the "how does that make you feel" question can be good, but also super challenging. I'm not a fan of textbook responses either. I don't think many people are. They are not very individual and they don't make me feel heard.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I prefer my T to be adaptable in that there are appropriate times to be engaging and appropriate times for silence.

I don't know if I can describe this right, but I think there's a difference btwn hearing and listening. To me, hearing someone is passive; listening is active. People often hear what I say, but only enough to continue a conversation on a superficial level. But my T listens. The conversation is at a deeper level, she gains a deeper understanding. So while she might be silent at times, she is still actively engaged.

She often is very engaging in our conversations and not just by asking questions, but also by posture, facial expressions, and tone/volume. She'll often help progress the conversations by relating it to her opinion or experience or to something we discussed in the past. Sometimes it's creepy when she leans forward towards me when we're talking, but I also appreciate it and recognize that she does it because she is engaged.

[MrPink182]

The new T I am seeing seemed to be asking a lot of good questions, which I appreciate. It was the first session, so I am not sold on her yet, but she seems more outgoing than my old T who I have to let go shortly

[MrPink182]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I prefer my T to be adaptable in that there are appropriate times to be engaging and appropriate times for silence.

I don't know if I can describe this right, but I think there's a difference btwn hearing and listening. To me, hearing someone is passive; listening is active. People often hear what I say, but only enough to continue a conversation on a superficial level. But my T listens. The conversation is at a deeper level, she gains a deeper understanding. So while she might be silent at times, she is still actively engaged.

She often is very engaging in our conversations and not just by asking questions, but also by posture, facial expressions, and tone/volume. She'll often help progress the conversations by relating it to her opinion or experience or to something we discussed in the past. Sometimes it's creepy when she leans forward towards me when we're talking, but I also appreciate it and recognize that she does it because she is engaged.

Body language is huge. You can learn a lot from body language and what the T is thinking/feeling without them even talking. I have a book on body language, due to my love for poker. I like to read body language for some moola

[Silent Void]

As a matter if fact, no, I don't like 20 questions in therapy. I only go to therapy because if I don't I can't see my psychiatrist for meds. It's a racket for the clinic to make money. I don't need talk therapy.

[Xenon]

I'm not the sort of person who can just monologue at length with no response, so yes, I'm going to need my therapist to do more than listen.

[Ford Puma]

I love it when T asks question relating to what I am saying. Its nice. specially when she is evidently sincerely interested in what I am saying as opposed to been polite with the odd few words been said for the benefit of doing her job.

[Polibeth]

My T asks a lot of questions. Sometimes she'll say "I know I'm talking too long - I can tell by your expression".

[MrPink182]

My old T was more engaging in my last sessions ARGH!!!!!!!!!
I need to pick one.
I really care about my original T, but my new T so far seems more gentile, engaging, understanding...

[sidney1771]

I prefer my T ask questions. I like to know that she's engaged with what I'm talking about and I feel better having her sometimes take the driver seat. There are occasions when I'm in a manic mode where she'll mostly listen but that's more out of me not letting her talk or ask anything.

[nottrustin]

I need the engagement. I have plenty of people I can just vent to. I need help with processing and figuring things out. I need their feedback, questions, etc to help make things better. I figure if I am there seeking help with a particular issue, then I need a new prospective. She doesn't ask how I feel about things. She frequently will ask what is going on in my head when discussing difficult subjects.