Should I go see former T again? (Trigger warning for attempted suicide)

I'm so sorry that your connection to your former therapist imploded. Your pain and anguish is palpable. But I am glad to hear that you are open and willing to work with another therapist.

I did want to agree with others who have said that your former therapist has actually set his boundary. When you call, email or write, he does not respond. Not all boundaries have to be set through verbal or written means. Although it's hard to accept, he has told you clearly, in no uncertain terms, that no matter how you attempt to contact him, he will not respond. I get it that this is hurtful to you, but it is a solid boundary. Example: Say that you broke up with a boyfriend and he was not on board with this decision. He continues to call, text, send letters, stop by the house etc. No matter how many times and as many ways as you tell your former boyfriend that you are no longer interested in pursuing a relationship with him, your x continues to attempt to contact you. What would you do? You could move, but that's pretty drastic. Most likely, you'd simply stop responding to him in any way shape or form. If he called, you'd let it go to message. If he texted, you'd delete the text. If he knocked on the door, you wouldn't answer. Of course, if he continued or escalated in his behavior, you might contact the police and ask them to visit him and impress upon him that you didn't want him contacting you in any way for the future. Please, let it go for your own sake.
Talk about it for as long as it takes to process with your new therapist.
I wish you good luck and a little peace!

I agree with others his lack of response IS a response.

If he replied...that would only invite a response from you, etc.

He has already ended his contact with you.

Sorry.

I'm sorry but no response after so much communication from you has a very clear meaning. No response means the person is not interested in communicating. If you continue to push it with him it could actually be construed as harassment, so it's really in your best interest to be careful. I know you don't want to hear this and I know this is painful, but he is not responsible for your feelings - only you are. You can't make people feel or do things that they don't want to do. He is a human being with a right to be left alone. You need to respect that, focus on yourself and get some real help. You deserve more than this obsession that will lead you nowhere.

This has got to be so hard for you, but if you really want to show him that you're better, don't contact him. No letters, no dropping in to say hi, or leaving messages. Just...do whatever you can to get on with your life and think about other ways to fill that void.

Amen! Thanks- seems to me you said the same thing all the others did minus the lecturing.

You mentioned earlier in the thread that people have told you to give it time, and that it's been a year and that it's not getting better, and that it's getting worse.

Of course it got worse. You kept contacting him. Everytime you contact him, you reset things and keeps the wound open. So when he doesn't respond, it's like pouring salt on that wound. And then you rip it open further and pour more salt in. Continue to repeat.

You've been doing that for a year. You haven't gave it any time at all, because you continue to push and push for more contact.

So give it real time. Without attempts at contact.