[nottrustin]

Possible Trigger:

This week something really odd happened I am not sure if it is what everybody calls disassociation or not. Things have been difficult lately. I had spoken to T in the morning regarding my scheduled appointment. She was concerned about me and thought we might need to go over our regular time and wanted me to be her last appointment so that we had all the time needed. Course lots of bad thing went through my mind. Anyway, we discussed many painful things and it ended up being almost 2 1/2 hours.

Anyway, at one point mentioned something very personal that I have never been able to talk about with her. Then I don't know what happened I suddenly became very cold, felt numb to the point that I had a hard time talking, and I started scratching and digging my hand to the point that it hurt for a while after. She gave me 2 large hugs as I was leaving. When I went to reach for my checkbook she asked me NOT to pay her to just let things be. I felt completely numb and my head was pounding I couldn't even respond. I sat in my car for about 20 minutes before leaving...

I know I will talk to her about it next time but does this sound like disassociation to you?

[sideblinded]

nottrustin

I am not a therapist, but it does sound like it could be a form of dissociation. I'm sure your T will talk to you about it. I have had times when I completely forget where I am or where I am going. I have childhood trauma. This has not happened lately but I think I was either stressed or so into my thoughts that I was somewhere else. So be prepared for whatever your T thinks. Good luck with figuring this out. Blessings.

[Ididitmyway]

Actually, it doesn't sound like dissociation to me. It sounds like a somatic reaction to the fact that something very painful got triggered. It happens when some part of a person gets scared when certain deep places get touched and produces a somatic reaction. When a person dissociates they temporarily disconnect from reality, they are not aware of their surroundings and of what's going on. Later, when they "return", they don't remember what happened and where they were. It's like a memory block out triggered by the same thing - the fear of touching something very painful. From what you described, it sounds like you were aware of what was around you all the time.

I do have to say that I am impressed with your T. Not many Ts deal with this type of situation in such humane and compassionate way as your T did. Good for her.

i'm not sure if it's dissociation. it sounds like a normal reaction; i reacted exactly the same (cold, numb, hurting self unconsciously) when telling my t painful things (csa). Your t reacted in such a lovely way though. makes me sad a bit bcos mine would never do that.

[nottrustin]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

Actually, it doesn't sound like dissociation to me. It sounds like a somatic reaction to the fact that something very painful got triggered. It happens when some part of a person gets scared when certain deep places get touched and produces a somatic reaction. When a person dissociates they temporarily disconnect from reality, they are not aware of their surroundings and of what's going on. Later, when they "return", they don't remember what happened and where they were. It's like a memory block out triggered by the same thing - the fear of touching something very painful. From what you described, it sounds like you were aware of what was around you all the time.

I do have to say that I am impressed with your T. Not many Ts deal with this type of situation in such humane and compassionate way as your T did. Good for her.

Thank you for your response. From everything I had read about disassociation I didn't think it was. I did always know what was going on and even if I was unable to respond verbally I could shake my head appropriately. I knew she was there and felt safe in that sense.

I love my T (not inappropriately) as she seems to know when I need to pushed a little but can do it compassionately. At the same time at times like this when I push everybody away out of fear she keeps reminding me that she is there for me and to email or call anytime. I am very fortunate to have her on my team.