[x123]

I'm still procrastinating on starting therapy. I need to do this.

In the past it has always been hard for me to tell the therapist that I don't want to continue. I am not very assertive, and I don't want to hurt the therapist's feelings, so I keep rescheduling even when it isn't working. This is one reason why I hate to start therapy again.

How soon should a person expect to see some progress in therapy?

[Ellahmae]

I've only been going for a little over 3 months now and I noticed progress after the first few weeks - I didn't open up all the way (still haven't opened up much at all) but I have progressed & noticed changes in myself.

I can relate. I didn't notice any changes with previous therapists, and I saw a couple for more than a year or two each. And still, I kept going until one quit her practice, another quit me, and a third moved. But with the current one, bam, I felt something working right within the first few sessions. Not huge changes, but enough to know I'm in the right place and on the right track and can (hopefully) weather any setbacks. Never again would I waste time by sticking around if it wasn't feeling worth it.

[SnakeCharmer]

Each person is different, so there's no set time on progress. Some people even start "acting" worse as they start feeling better. I have a relative who was always sweetie sweet to everyone. After she started therapy she started telling everyone what she thought. It was exactly what she needed but it was hard on all of us. But she did get better, a lot better, rather quickly. Other people feel more anxiety as things are brought to the surface. This is normal and all right. It's part of the process of getting beyond the secrets that make us sick.

As far as hurting your T's feelings by wanting to quit ... that's not likely. The T might be concerned that you're quitting too soon and might say so, but that's not about their hurt feelings, it's about concern for your well-being. But any client (who's not court mandated) can quit any time they like. If a T isn't strong enough to accept clients coming and going without taking it personally, they're in the wrong profession. Therapy is for you. You can quit whenever you like without guilt feelings. Which, naturally, is easier said than done, but that's how it works.

I wish you the best and hope you find a good T.

[ThingWithFeathers]

It depends on what struggles you are facing. I persevered for over a year before I noticed real change taking place. Small changes started straight away, but I was in a bad state for more than a year so didn't notice them. Sometimes it's hard to see the small changes when there are bigger issues you are struggling with. For me, perseverance and hard work were key.

It sounds like you didn't tell your T's why you didn't want to continue? I'm wondering if telling your T's this might be a step forward and help you to make progress? I keep telling my T why I don't want to carry on, it's really hard and painful, it usually doesn't go down well, but it is honest and I have had real progress in 6 months. Being assertive is a new experience for me.

I've found progress comes and goes. And a lot depends on what you define as progress. Progress can be short-term, it can be one small step on a staircase of 100 steps. Other people might not call it progress (or even really recognize the progress) until they reached the 50th step.

So, the question is: what kind of progress are you expecting to see? What will be indicative of progress to you?

[x123]

Thanks, everybody, those are good thoughts.