[justdesserts]

Have any of your therapists ever suggested you leave your spouse or consider leaving your spouse? What was the situation? What ultimately happened?

Thanks.

My therapist has made it very clear that he does not make recommendations about divorce. All he will do is help me explore my own feelings about my marriage so I can make my own conclusions.

[ThisWayOut]

I have not, but I could imagine a T suggesting someone leave a spouse if the situation was abusive, toxic, dangerous or the client repeatedly expressed dissatisfaction with the spouse in a way that suggested it would be best if they left (like only staying in the relationship out of fear of the unknown despite being unhappy in it)...
why do you ask?

My T suggested leaving my spouse. My spouse was blaming me for everything that was happening in our lives. My T was very concerned about my level of depression, and after meeting my spouse and seeing us interact, he believed that my spouse was making my depression worse (he was right). However, my spouse wanted to try marriage counseling when I finally told him I was DONE. Marriage counseling really helped us and our relationship is dramatically better now.

[Favorite Jeans]

Originally Posted by justdesserts

Have any of your therapists ever suggested you leave your spouse or consider leaving your spouse? What was the situation? What ultimately happened?

Thanks.

No. But then I have a pretty great spouse.

I remember about 3-6 months in my T suggested I might be in an abusive relationship, he just didn't know how to bring it up before.
Yes we are separated now.

[ScarletPimpernel]

She has never out right said I should leave my fiance. But she has told me to be aware of my options. She and my Pdoc have also told me that they are surprised I stayed with my fiance. My T would never make a decision for me or try to force something like that on me. All she asks is I hear her out, keep an open mind, and am honest with her. Pretty fair imo.

[Ididitmyway]

No, they haven't and the ethics code specifically prohibits therapists to give advice on the status of the client's relationship with anyone.

[Lauliza]

My pdoc did but after my H moved back in after leaving me. I was doing well personally so my pdoc was very frustrated about this. I think he was more frustrated that he couldn't come our and tell me what to do directly and his body language and comments took over. After H moved in I wasn't happy and unsure of what to do. Pdoc still didn't use language that was directive, but was was still clear about what he thought I should do. My H moved out again but eventually had to move back again (and is still here). I remember being more nervous about telling my pdoc than anyone else and I told him so. He actually told me that because I explained myself well and had logical reasons he understood, but otherwise he would've been frustrated. I know this is not how a T should act and have him a lot of leeway because I like him, I know he is not a therapist and I think it was a slight case of countertranference. I sometimes use him as an example in my head of what not to say prospective clients.��

[JustShakey]

I wouldn't say my T suggested I leave the H, but he definitely supported and encouraged my own desire to leave. Without his help I would not have left, or felt able to leave, that's for sure. I would still be blaming myself...

[WrkNPrgress]

After T confirmed feelings that I had that my relationship had become emotionally abusive, she never said, "You should leave" but she did suggest couple counseling as a recourse to start with.

I had been having problems with my partner for some time. Looking back I can see that was huge part of my depression and why I needed therapy. After a few months venting to T about the dysfunctional aspects of my life, my T suddenly stood up in the middle of a session, rummaged through cabinet and handed me a pamphlet on abuse in relationships.

I was a bit shell-shocked but not really surprised, if that makes sense. It confirmed a lot for me. It also was difficult because despite all that I was ready to leave. So I made it clear to my partner that couples counseling was necessary. It has been very good for us so far. We're getting back to the relationship that I want am I'm able to speak up against those aspects that are unhealthy.

I think we came very close to breaking up and it was the word "abuse" put my partner in check about how bad it really was.

[JustShakey]

Originally Posted by WrkNPrgress

I think we came very close to breaking up and it was the word "abuse" put my partner in check about how bad it really was.

And here's the difference between a salvageable relationship and one that is not. It is wonderful that your partner is willing to be checked and work on your relationship. Put in the same situation the h denied everything and tried to blame me. I covered for him for so long, even while we were in couples' - he was more abusive, physically and otherwise, while we were in couples' because he was stressed out by it, and I never said a word.

[rainbow8]

In the past when I talked about my marriage, my T always told me "you have choices." She left it up to me to discuss those choices or to act on any of them.

[WrkNPrgress]

Originally Posted by JustShakey

And here's the difference between a salvageable relationship and one that is not. It is wonderful that your partner is willing to be checked and work on your relationship. Put in the same situation the h denied everything and tried to blame me. I covered for him for so long, even while we were in couples' - he was more abusive, physically and otherwise, while we were in couples' because he was stressed out by it, and I never said a word.

I'm sorry that happened to you JustShakey. I hope you are in a better place now.

No, he would never suggest any such thing. He has suggested marriage counselling which is not something that could ever be an option and it pissed me off a bit that he would suggest something like that.