[ThingWithFeathers]

My t's away. I'm not doing so well - drinking every night to avoid feeling anything, SH and sui thoughts and urges. I tried to get through this alone, but I ended up emailing my t's colleague, who'll be in the office next week.

I just hate that I'm so needy! I can't even make it 3 weeks without my t. And now I'm feeling insecure about sending the email. Guess I'm just looking for some reassurance that it was the 'right' thing to do in the circumstances?

[Teddy:)]

Originally Posted by ThingWithFeathers

My t's away. I'm not doing so well - drinking every night to avoid feeling anything, SH and sui thoughts and urges. I tried to get through this alone, but I ended up emailing my t's colleague, who'll be in the office next week.

I just hate that I'm so needy! I can't even make it 3 weeks without my t. And now I'm feeling insecure about sending the email. Guess I'm just looking for some reassurance that it was the 'right' thing to do in the circumstances?

I'm sorry that your struggling at the moment

I really think you have made the right decision in contacting your T's colleague. It's always hard to admit when your not doing so well but the most important thing is YOU and your well being- I think it's very strong of you to reach out like this and although your feeling insecure now, I am sure you will feel so much better for doing it. And I am sure your T will be proud of you too

Sorry you are having a bad time. Hugs.

[BonnieJean]

It is ok to reach out.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Originally Posted by Teddy:)

I'm sorry that your struggling at the moment

I really think you have made the right decision in contacting your T's colleague. It's always hard to admit when your not doing so well but the most important thing is YOU and your well being- I think it's very strong of you to reach out like this and although your feeling insecure now, I am sure you will feel so much better for doing it. And I am sure your T will be proud of you too

Thank you. I know you're right, it's just hard to feel good about reaching out for help. I feel pathetic, undeserving and weak.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Originally Posted by BonnieJean

It is ok to reach out.

Thanks for the reminder - it's not always easy to remember that.

Don't you also have an addiction's therapist (or am I thinking of the wrong person)? It would seem like they might also be worth contacting if you are drinking.

[ThingWithFeathers]

Originally Posted by lolagrace

Don't you also have an addiction's therapist (or am I thinking of the wrong person)? It would seem like they might also be worth contacting if you are drinking.

Yeah, you've got the right person He knows about the drinking, and we are working on harm minimisation strategies. I've only seen him 3 times, so he only knows me as a drinker. I guess it's the feelings I'm running from that are bothering me the most. But you're right, that's another reason I feel like I've done the wrong thing contacting my t's colleague.

I don't think you've done the wrong thing contacting the other therapist. I was just reminding you that you also have someone else you could contact. I would actually think contacting both of them might be a good idea.

Three weeks is a long time, Feathers. Glad you reached out, that's what other T is there for.

Afterthoughts-

This really illustrates how intensely felt pre-verbal stuff can be. For a baby who is 3 weeks old, 3 weeks would be her entire life. T and I have talked about this a lot. Of course we are adults now, but when re-experiencing young and intense emotions, they feel like they will never end, that they are going to last forever. That's the way a child experiences them. My therapist has mentioned this several times, and I found framing it this way extremely helpful.

So reaching out can end the perpetual component of being in feeling states like these, which allows you to function more normally again instead of remaining in the highly-charged state of 'foreverness'.

[ThisWayOut]

TWF. You did the right thing by reaching out. It definitely is ok.

Originally Posted by mian síoraí

Three weeks is a long time, Feathers. Glad you reached out, that's what other T is there for.

Afterthoughts-

This really illustrates how intensely felt pre-verbal stuff can be. For a baby who is 3 weeks old, 3 weeks would be her entire life. T and I have talked about this a lot. Of course we are adults now, but when re-experiencing young and intense emotions, they feel like they will never end, that they are going to last forever. That's the way a child experiences them. My therapist has mentioned this several times, and I found framing it this way extremely helpful.

So reaching out can end the perpetual component of being in feeling states like these, which allows you to function more normally again instead of remaining in the highly-charged state of 'foreverness'.

this makes SO much sense! Thank you for posting it!!!

[ThingWithFeathers]

Originally Posted by mian síoraí

Three weeks is a long time, Feathers. Glad you reached out, that's what other T is there for.

Afterthoughts-

This really illustrates how intensely felt pre-verbal stuff can be. For a baby who is 3 weeks old, 3 weeks would be her entire life. T and I have talked about this a lot. Of course we are adults now, but when re-experiencing young and intense emotions, they feel like they will never end, that they are going to last forever. That's the way a child experiences them. My therapist has mentioned this several times, and I found framing it this way extremely helpful.

So reaching out can end the perpetual component of being in feeling states like these, which allows you to function more normally again instead of remaining in the highly-charged state of 'foreverness'.

Yes, I find it very hard to endure feelings and they feel like they will never end. My t has been helping me to try and understand that they will end and I can tolerate them. I haven't yet learned to sit with them.