[Seeking_Peace]

When T says nice and encouraging stuff like "You are smart", "I believe in you" etc.....or gives you other similar compliments, how do you respond? Simple "thank you"? If you don't believe what T is saying, do you say that?

What if you feel vulnerable and get scared when T says nice things...because you're scared of getting attached....would you ever voluntarily admit this to T?

[ThisWayOut]

I'm really uncomfortable with that kind of stuff. I often challenge a t on it (most I have not known long enough to feel they would have a valid assessment). It's really triggering for me though, so it's always a battle around that. I'm not so afraid of the attachment as I am of the implications compliments have had in the past.

[guilloche]

I think it depends a bit on the context, and how I feel about what T is saying. Very early on, T was trying to convey that he "cared" about me. I told him that honestly, I didn't think he knew me well enough to care !

Hmm though mostly, I'm not sure if I even hear the nice things... you know, he may be saying them, but I think they sort of just bounce off and I continue with whatever I was trying to explain. Maybe?

Edit to add: Yup, I think that might be what happens. Today, I told T about something that happened with work. And he stopped me to tell me that I handled it in a very mature, healthy way (hmm maybe he was surprised by this, lol!). And I sort of said, "yeah, I do that sometimes" and just kept on with the story! I didn't mean to be snarky (!) but I had just explained to him that I really struggle with feeling divided between my "sane" self and my emotional "crazy" self, so I felt like... of course, clearly that was my sane self, and I *told* you my sane self does *great* in the world. That's not the problem!

[stopdog]

Generally if the woman makes a comment about something she knows nothing about - I tell her that she has no way of knowing whether I am kind or whatever.
In real life, with people who are not therapists, I just say thank you and go on.

I've learned to accept compliments graciously with a simple thank-you in faith that people see things in me sometimes even more clearly than I do myself. My judgment and critical eye for myself is often very clouded by old mistaken beliefs from way back when. In the here and now, those around me may actually be seeing me for who I truly am, not the often blurred and distorted view of myself that my pain and history has left me with. I have found the more I trust that those who care about me are being honest with me about myself, accepting graciously their positive observations about me, the more I start to share that clearer image of myself.

[Seeking_Peace]

Good to know I'm not the only one. I always say a simple thank you in response to compliments and that's what I did when T said nice things to me. I know T will ask me next time what I thought about our last session.

Should I bother to mention that his comments made me uncomfortable because I did not believe him? I started seeing this T not too long ago so one of the reasons I feel like this is because I don't think T has know me long enough? Or just forget it and let it go?

Is it weird that I'm actually scared of T saying nice things again b/c of how it made me feel? I can't remember the last time someone said those types of things to me with such kindness in their voice and eyes.

[Ellahmae]

Right now I ignore them then she repeats it once and then we move on. We shared a little laugh over this the other day. I told her I wish she would stop saying "x" and she responded with I would say "x", "y", and "z" but you'd just tell me to shut up so I'll just keeping saying "x" instead.

T doesn't give me that kind of compliment. I guess he knows I'd see through them.

My T never says stuff like that. I think perhaps it is a cultural thing, I'm in the UK. Also it doesn't link with her approach, I'm not sure I could put into words what her approach is, kind of like 'you are you whoever that is', so she wouldn't praise anyone set of behaviours.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I struggle with receiving compliments, but I've learned to simply say thank you.

My T does give me compliments often. Normally I just say thank you. If I don't believe it, I'll tell her thank you but I don't believe it. She always responds with "That's okay".

The receptionist at my T's office once gave me a compliment. I was still extremely scared of people, so I brushed it off. But I felt so guilty about it. I wrote her a card apologizing, telling her I appreciated her compliment, and it did make me feel better about myself. When I gave her the card she almost cried.

[ThingWithFeathers]

I just giggle, smile, turn my head away or down and look utterly awkward. That doesn't stop my t though, she still finds opportunities to say something nice

[GeminiNZ]

I rarely believe them, but i am getting better at responding with a simple, 'thank you.' People don't have to say nice things and i figure the least i can do is acknowledge the sentiment, even if i don't believe it.

I've noticed that i actually feel a moment of connection with my T when i stop to thank him for something nice he says, instead of just brushing it off or rushing right by it. And we do talk about how I don't believe a lot of his nice words (and why) - but how that doesn't make them any less true from his side.

[ThisWayOut]

Does anyone else find it hard not to argue about it? I'm getting better at not denting compliments from strangers, but I have trouble containing my disbelief when someone I know says something. I have learned to say "thank you" but I often can't stop myself from shaking my head no, and continuing to deny the compliment in my head.

[baseline]

My T asked me if his compliments made me uncomfortable. I said definitely. Iam uncomfortable in general but with him I don't ever want to become too attached or needy!!!

At first, I just said thank you and went on. Later, when I was a little more comfortable with him, I asked him what he wanted from me when he said things like that. I maaaaay have said in a slightly belligerent, 'What do you WANT from me???' sort of a tone. For me, people saying nice things almost always had a catch or the person wanted something from me, and it was pissing me off that I did not know what the catch was or what he wanted.

[scorpiosis37]

I smile and say thank-you. I appreciate the compliments and take them in.

[Toaster123]

At first I used to say okay and continue with whatever i was saying
then i used to she doesn't know me very well to say such things, now i tell her she is talking **** lol

I say thank you.

The one and only time I can think that t commented on my appearance was to say I had an expressive face and a bright smile. I was in a manic episode so I don't really remember.
The other time he said I made a creative solution to a problem which made feel a bit proud.