[Duckling000]

Long time lurker here, first time poster. As a bit of background, I have just had 24 sessions of reduced cost counselling to help with depression and anxiety. 24 is the maximum number that this counselling centre offers, so though I wasn't ready to terminate, that was just the situation.

I was incredibly lucky to have a wonderful counsellor who I clicked with from the word go. We got on so well, and he reaffirmed that so many times, that in my last session I asked if it would be okay to stay in touch, as friends. He said no of course, which rationally I knew would happen, but I hadn't let myself believe that he would do. It felt so cruel, like a massive rejection, and for the first time in all those sessions I just bawled my eyes out. It wasn't at all how I wanted things to end with him. This was on Wednesday and my depression has come roaring back since then. It puts me off ever having counselling or therapy ever again

Any thoughts would be hugely appreciated, thank you in advance.

That's the problem with time limited therapy. Our inner world doesn't have a clock. It needs time to resolve issues.
Obviously the answer is to seek out therapy without constraints.

[ScarletPimpernel]

Welcome to the forums

Can you not request an extension based on medical necessity? Or ask if/when you can have another 24 sessions? Like maybe it's 24 sessions per year?

Otherwise, sadly, your best bet is to find another T, but it sounds like you have financial issues which will make it difficult.

It's not fair that mental health treatment is treated like a luxury and is still so misunderstood. We see celebrities in the news with some affliction, the media covers it for a month, and then it disappears till some other known person is struggling (i.e. Heath Ledger, Robin Williams, etc).

Sorry you are hurting. Something I've reflected on since reading your post is how you were able to build a great relationship with your T with great rapport, after 6 months I'm not there yet, there are some people who are perhaps better at it than others? Can you afford to pay for therapy?

[gayleggg]

I know it is hard to let go of a relationship built in therapy, but they have to say no to further contact to protect you and themselves. I've had to let go of a couple of relationships with therapists that I would have like to stay in contact with but it just wasn't ethical. They knew too much to just be casual friends. I understand that now but it sure was hard at the time.

I hope you get past feeling rejected and your mood lightens back up soon. It will get easier with time.

I read on PC that some people text and email their therapists but mine doesn't do that. I would like that kind of relationship but understand the potential negative effects it could have. Like they don't answer back or not soon enough, etc. I'm glad my therapist has good boundaries, since i'm known for not having very good ones. It keeps me in check.

[Crescent Moon]

He wasn't rejecting you. He had no choice but to follow that rule, which may have been hurtful to him as well.

[HowDoYouFeelMeow?]

It might have been the word "friends" that your T had to say no to. I asked my exT if I could send her emails a couple times of year just to say hi and update (not as friends), and she welcomed that. My exPdoc on the other hand rejected the same request. That really hurt because we had been working together for 5 or so years and then it seemed like she wanted nothing to do with me. I guess it just depends on the person.

[guilloche]

It might also be a rule of the counseling center... so it might not have anything to do with his feelings towards you, but rather, the fact that his employer requires it. So sorry though, those rejection feelings are really difficult...

[Duckling000]

Thanks so much to everybody who replied, you are all lovely. I'm based in the UK so to get a new T privately would cost around £60 a session. I just can't afford that. Our NHS healthcare is a wonderful thing in many ways, but sadly mental health is not given the importance it should be. I actually counted myself extremely lucky to get the help I did - it was straight away and only £15 per session. I hear horror stories of people waiting six months or more for help.

Anyway, it really calmed me to hear your thoughts. I couldn't help but feel humiliated and ashamed, like I had done something awful. He told me he was upset too and I regret now the way I looked at him as if to say, 'how could you?' That wasn't fair. The benefits of hindsight...