[justdesserts]

I understand why some therapists have boundaries that prevent them from engaging in physical contact, but I've heard some say that it's unethical, and I don't understand that idea. I've even heard people say that therapists can be sued over hugging. Can someone help me understand?

[jelly-bean]

Maybe the hugging can be misconstrued as sexual harassment. Apparently some people consider it inappropriate behavior so that's my best guess.

[stopdog]

They are all over the board on touching. I think they hide behind unethical when it really is just they don't want to from fear of many things (being sued, being unable to control themselves, counter-transference, a dislike of touching, germs, finding the client repulsive, etc.)

[precaryous]

My T gives hugs. She doesn't hug me- for complicated reasons.

Different T's have different boundaries.

A T hugging a patient is not inherently unethical.

[ScarletPimpernel]

My T is very into "following the rules" when it comes to being a T. Like I asked her if I could ever have an extra session if I needed and I would pay out-of-pocket for it. She said no because if my insurance ever found out, they wouldn't pay anymore. I asked her how would they even find out. She said that ethically she is required to take note on every session. So she is strict when it comes to ethics. Maybe that's not ethics? But she still follows the "rules".

But she hugs....

My Pdoc also hugs (though she'll bend the "rules" a little if she has to).

I don't think it's unethical. Mine would probably not do that with me just because of my history, but she probably does with other clients. I think that's fine. It's whatever works for the individual. Sometimes, I think therapists make things creepy just by talking about ethics, when really it's just their own creepy thinking.

[JustShakey]

Hugging may be a boundary issue for some Ts but it is not in itself unethical. An ethical T, however, is good at maintaining their boundaries and if they are not comfortable with hugs, then doing so for them would be unethical, because they are not respecting their own boundaries.

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[ECHOES]

My T simply said that it wouldn't be helpful on a particular level. We did hug once, initiated by me, when she was going to be out for a surgery of some kind. I asked if I could give her a Good Wishes hug and she said sure. On a therapeutic level though, it is as likely to interfere with the process and our respective roles: she is not there to fix but to assist my discovery of myself and what I might desire to change. If there is not a clear line between she and I, then I could see myself doing things to please her and not to please myself. I could see myself worrying (more) about displeasing her. I could see myself worrying that she might withhold that hug, or interpret each hug and it's meaning, by comparing and by what the session was like. So, as part of therapy, which it would become, I understand why it would not be helpful.

I once told my T that I wasn't loved, and that it made perfect sense in, some part of my being, that she could "love me well" - that is, love me to make me well. Logical, right? "I need this, you can provide it, and then that empty place will be filled in". Of course, I also knew better, but it was interesting to reveal that thought and it was a nice session. I mention this because it was part of my desire for her to hug and physically comfort me.

[tealBumblebee]

I don't think it is unethical; I think it is dependent upon what is best for the client. I believe that for a client who could not receive only benefits from hugging - it is unethical for the T to choose to overlook this and offer a hug anyway. My own T is all about hugs but she always asks before doing so and respects/honors my no's.

I think different countries have different rules for therapist. In the US, I don't think there are laws about it.

[growlycat]

I don't think it is automatically unethical as long as:

* the hug is for the client's needs, not the T's
* The client asks for the hug or T asks if giving a hug is ok

ideally, both parties would discuss what a hug would mean first, and make sure an action isn't a substitution for talk

[pmbm]

A past therapist told me that the problem with hugs was that the therapist had to write a big long explanation of any touch used in their practice along with what clients it would be used with and what kind of touch and how often touch was used for their malpractice insurance. Now, she used a lot of touch. Hugging, hand holding, actually holding, rubbing back. She must have had a long narrative to write for her malpractice insurance.

[Petra5ed]

I also don't think it's unethical. Unless a therapist is caressing my *** in a hug, or hugging me without my consent, I think it's an acceptable gesture. For some clients it might not be a good idea, maybe it is triggering or something, some clients also might not want a hug, outside of that I see no problem with hugging.

[NowhereUSA]

I don't think it's unethical. My T hugs me if I want it.

Maybe some Ts are really strict about those boundaries? Idk.