Another regret telling my therapist....embarassing admission....

Unbelievable. Every time I hear stories like yours I can't believe how stupid some therapists can be. At the very minimum every therapist has to know how important it is for people with the history of certain traumatic events to create safety and comfort in their surroundings. How can any therapist suggest to make their environment feel less comforting and safe is beyond me, as well as to imply that the client should "grow up" and stop being a little child..Really?

Please, disregard this stupid suggestion and keep your night light! If you like it, then it's good for you. Heck, I would love to have night light in my home! May be I'll install it some day. I love night light. I think too that it's quite beautiful and makes the home cozy.

And if you are in touch with your inner child, good for you! The child inside is what makes us truly alive. I can't deal with those who are disconnected from their inner child because they believe that being an adult is all about being immersed in mundane, practical, "serious" daily routine. You have all the reasons to feel good about being a child on some level and keeping your home safe, comfortable and beautiful for yourself!

I sleep with the hall light on! I am adult with 3 kids and I like having it on! Sometimes I leave my tv on too. WE do what we do and we do not need a therapist to tell us how to live our lives. Especially if we didn't ask for help in that area. As for your collections if they bring you joy then go for it!

My therapist stupidly told me if I stayed at a hotel on my visit to see my family that would create a magical "rapprochement." Then as therapy ended, she sent me to an image consultant so my exterior would match the new psyche she imagined for me.

I obediently followed directions infuriating my family. My makeover left me feeling belittled by the plastic-fashion plate literally in my closet throwing out my clothes and telling me how to dress.

Years later I understand how obtuse those people were.

Whether it's a metaphor or simply to guide you around the furniture, there's no vice in a nightlight, nor do I think you have to justify it to anyone.

I don't know why I feel so mixed about all of this. I guess it's the nature of bringing a slice of therapy to the pc table whenever there's a doubt. If I did that, I might end up thinking I have a terrible therapist; but for every hiccup, I learn that there was either a misunderstanding or miscommunication. If I'd brought it here, it would have undermined my therapy.

It's a fine balance. Coming here to get feedback or to vent can be very good. Maybe what your therapist is doing is totally off the mark and you're right to do as you please. Or maybe there's a chance that something else is going on. That's the hard part. Trusting your gut, though, is the best way to go. If you feel shamed, that's a big issue. If you're being told to give up something that offers you comfort, then that's a red flag. Asking for clarification is always a good idea.

Therapists are not always correct. If something does not fit, I tell them and do what I want. They do not know everything nor are they more correct than anyone else.

T is probably hoping you'll give that night light to her, so she can complete her collection. The whole thing is absurd. You pay good money and that's what she focuses on???

I years later realized it against my growth when therapists acted like I somehow was accountable or they were authority figures in my life. Excepting workplace, academic and legal settings, adults don't have authority over other adults. Nor is anyone certifiably wiser than anyone else.

First of all, I'm not in touch with my "inner child." I put that away, completely. I don't like it brought up, and don't like to admit to it....so I don't deserve the credit I received here as far as that topic goes.

HOWEVER, I Emailed my T last night wanting clarification, and she wrote me back saying it was no big deal...keep it. Actually she said "dont' worry about the night light, it is fine! You can even have stuffys if you like."

No, I don't want, or need stuffed animals to cuddle with. I do sleep with extra pillows and sometimes find myself with my arms around one, but that's because I find it comfortable.

I don't recall the first time off hand, but this is the second time she said something, then when confronted, took it back. I'm confused.

I have no idea what kind of therapy I am participating in, other than just talk therapy. Its never been labeled. I know she's helped me a GREAT deal, there have just been a few little things....

They are not consistent and do not often remember why or even what they said in my experience with them.

I think it's all a crap shoot, but a good therapist will admit that. They will try things and adjust because every individual is different. I don't see that as a bad thing, unless they're utter hacks.

Flexibility is good. The important thing is whether or not you have confidence in your therapist's ability to know what she's doing, and that there's some sort of purpose to it all, even if the method shifts.

I have a couple requirements that my therapist says are a challenge to work around, but she is willing to do it. Other things are stable and some change according to how much I gnash my teeth. It's a give and take, though. I don't just make demands. I assume I'm paying her for some expertise, so I will try things and make changes on my end too.

Lol! Ok. The "credit" is taken back Not that I really care..

So, it turns out this wasn't a big deal to begin with All it took to make it a non-issue was to clarify it with the therapist Glad to hear that this wasn't an issue in the first place. Have a good one

My t gave me a nigh light as a birthday present last year.

I have a garfield cup that I got as a gift, maybe I should throw that away,too

I don't see how one adult playing authority figure with another contributes to growth. A therapist telling a consumer she "can have" a harmless object? Her jurisdiction extends to harmless objects the your household? It's the larger picture that irks me, more than the discussion about a nightlight and what it means.

I think therapy should lead to feeling more competent, more autonomous, not more childish. When a therapist plays the role of monitor and disciplinarian--which she's not-- particularly about something so inconsequential, I think she's taking things backward. At least that's the effect it would have on me.

When I brought it up, she then took it back like she never said anything.

Hello. It is sad to me that u were embarrassed to post this op. . The nightlight is ur decision and no need for ridicule. Enjoy it

I sleep with a stuffed lifesized Iguana to hug, and if T doesn't like it she can go get her own!
Ditto for the nightlight. But it would be interesting what the T has in mind therapeutically by your not having the nightlight. If it's some kind of health stuff like circadian rythmn, maybe you could have the bedroom dark and the hall lit, or wear a mask like they do in the big cities.

Lots of people (myself included) use night lights; some people even use noise machines. The only reason I could understand the suggestion to lose the nightlight is if it is keeping you or other people from getting enough sleep. Otherwise I would say "thanks but no thanks" to her suggestion and leave it at a that. I understand traumatizing events contributed to your need for the light, but that's ok in my opinion. We are a sum of all of our experiences, the good and the bad. If it is not a negative thing why turn it into one (and create shame around it too)?? It sounds like she's making this an issue because she finds it child like, but if that's so I think she's pretty narrow in her thinking.

don't feel embarrassed. its okay. im scared of the dark too.