[Raging Quiet]

I have been seeing my t for a very very long time. We've gone through ruptures, relapses, dramas and stillness. She retired last year professionally (however I only know this as she is no longer registered in the UK accreditation website and she had hinted about retiring in 2013) but she still continues to see me as a client.

I've noticed over the last year she has stopped 'psychotherapy' with me.

We no longer analyse my dreams, explore any issue in depth or do creative things and she self discloses on a bigger scale. (Of course this makes me have so much mother transference that it hurts)

The presenting problems changed over the years but infertility was a huge 5 year issue for me, however, I am due to give birth in less than 9 weeks (so have the added pregnancy hormones on top of leaving!) Even though I am pregnant, my anxiety has become almost as crippling as the early days and I feel I need her more than ever. I just want to hug her, but I know we don't have too much time left.

She has moments of bonding with me as she is a body psychotherapist; she uses touch and often strokes my hair, rubs my neck, does biodynamic massage and has been sitting next to me with her hand on my pregnant tummy in the last month.

It's been such a long time with her, she doesn't feel like a therapist. She's given me gifts and because she works from home it feel very informal.

I know I am leaving to have my very wanted baby and will be very preoccupied(!) but I feel like it will be a bereavement (it was 4 very close personal bereavements that was the initial reasons for being in therapy) I am worried about post natal depression and not having her support.

I suppose I am sad that she won't be in my next chapter.

I always knew I would have to leave at some point... But it's coming up very soon and I feel so isolated and dependant and urghhhhhh.

[SnakeCharmer]

Are you sure you won't be seeing her any more? I mean, it sounds as if she's retired and that you're no longer doing real therapy, but she's remained active to support you during your pregnancy.

Maybe your T relationship will transform into something like an unofficial fairy godmother relationship, a mentor, or part of a support network. IMO, every new mother can use a support network for those hectic times when having a calm and caring person to listen to us counts for so much. Or maybe once the baby is born and you're adjusting well to new motherhood she'll withdraw into her retirement, wishing you well. Right now, you really don't know.

Maybe it's time to talk to her about the future, if she sees one, what she's thinking and feeling and what you think and feel. In other words, make her input part of your plan for transitioning to life after the baby is born.

In the meantime, I wish you and your baby much healthy and happiness and hope you'll be able to stay mellow and calm about your T for as long as possible. It's always good to avoid unnecessary stress chemicals in our bodies if we can!

[IndestructibleGirl]

Congratulations on approaching motherhood!! Oh my god that is so exciting and heartwarming to read - I love hearing success stories when infertility has been in the picture! How wonderful (I am v broody at the moment, can you tell )

Regarding your therapy - do you have to finish for definite? Have you agreed a date?

I agree with SnakeCharmer that all new mums need to be kind to themselves, and remember that they need and deserve good support, even leaving out pnd.

only finish when you feel is right. it's up to you, nobody else can say.

good luck on your baby!

[unaluna]

Really happy for you Maybe take a break and find a new t? I never think i can change ts, then the change is forced on me and it works out fine. I cant imagine ever being t-less, altho i have gone thru t-less periods in my adult life. But you have sister and hubby and soon baby and baby stuff, so who knows. What an exciting step, a new future

[growlycat]

Congrats on your pregnancy!!!!

Is there any way to see her much less like once every two months just to check in?

[SoupDragon]

Wow congratulations on the forthcoming motherhood

After seeing your T for so long, I am sure it will feel really hard finishing with her, I guess like a bereavement.

Have you been able to talk to her about it? I know my T has said that endings are really important to work through and yes as someone said above, if you don't continue with this T, maybe seek out another to support you in your transition.

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy - children can being such new perspectives to life.

Soup