Naked in Therapy

I get along quite well with my T and I've started to tell her things I've never disclosed to my previous Ts and to be honest it makes me feel semi-naked. I feel as if I've walked into each session and slowly undressed and now I'm just sitting there with my bra and knickers on and because I've removed my clothes so subtly every session I've not noticed until now!

I agreed to let her dig deeper because I think it may be necessary for my elusive 'recovery', but now I'm not so sure. I want my clothes back, but she already knows everything which I've told her and I can't take it all back. Really, I hardly know her, I know nothing about her whatsoever; what on earth possessed me to think it would be a good idea to take my clothes off I don't know! She seems so nice and understanding and seems to 'get' me. We seem in synch and so it has just become easier and easier revealing stuff.

Sorry to extend the metaphor, but how can I help myself to feel okay without clothes? I certainly don't want her to see me completely naked now and regret agreeing to explore with her. I feel I've over-disclosed and I'm panicking. I'm not sure all of this trauma work is for me. How can I trust that she won't abuse my trust and tell the world? What if she doesn't file her notes away properly and someone gets hold of them? Is therapy a massive mistake? Can I even do this? At least the prison I'm currently in is familiar. What if all of this therapy actually makes me worse? Sorry for twenty questions, I just NEED to know . How do you feel okay being naked!?

Any help, or advice, or guidance would be greatly appreciated.

MM

Have you tried expressing this discomfort to your therapist? Also you make it seem like your therapist knows everything. I have been with my therapist for over a year and at times I think I have revealed too much but other times I realize I have things that I have not revealed so I feel less exposed. Have you tried asking your t more about info about themselves. Have they shared anything about themselves.

I don't know what the answer is, how to feel less naked, or exposed, but I can tell you that I feel the same way with my T. On the one hand, he is so easy to talk to, it all just spills out, but then after....oh, what did I say?

I just Emailed my T yesterday, telling her something that was quite a traumatic experience for me as a child, but something that I'm SOOO embarrassed about. I do know it was not my fault, I did not do this to myself, or do anything to cause such behavior. I'm 40, and this happened numerous times over 30 years ago, and I never spoke of it, ever, until yesterday. I know how you feel. After revealing this to her, I went to work today feeling exposed, even. Like now that I spoke of it, everyone knows. I'm all of a sudden self conscious of a certain part of my body. And, I see T on Thursday, and I'm so full of embarrassment I don't really feel like facing her after I told her this. But, it's all part of therapy. We need to learn to trust them, to disclose, no matter how naked and vulnerable it makes us feel. I WILL face her on Thursday, even though I don't want to. Honestly, now I know it will only help her to understand me more. But I'm so ashamed of this event, it's so freakin' off the wall as I wrote it, I swore had it not been me, I would be sure someone was making it up for shock value. But I lived it. And now, I shared it. And I can't feel any more naked than I feel now.

Thanks for the responses guys, I think I just had a bit of a freak out.

I've not expressed it to her because I don't think there's anything she could do about it, as she can't actually forget the things I've told her.

I do ask a bit about her, but only silly things. I'm not sure what the boundaries are and what it is appropriate to ask about.

You're right, like you I too have not revealed everything, but I have revealed things which I haven't to anyone else, even close friends and family, which sort of makes me feel exposed :/

I think this is a very useful metaphor.
How do you feel when you are physically naked? It depends on the context, I bet. But just as there are times when physical nakedness is appropriate, there are times when emotional nakedness is appropriate.

Or look at it this way: you take your clothes off when you need to wash your body. I think therapy is the same.

Thank you. What a brilliant way to describe it

Therapy ebbs and flows. It may be that you have to take a step back and be a little more reticent for a while. That's okay too.

Maybe just let your T know you need to talk about something the you do feel comfortable with for a while. They should understand.