Would attending the funeral be...

This has been on my mind for quite some time now, and I need to ask. My T's funeral is inevitable, and it will probably be soon. What, if anything, should I do about the funeral? Would it be inappropriate for me to attend? We terminated (abruptly) before she stopped seeing clients.
I'm torn as to what to do. I want to go just to have some kind of closure, but I don't because I think that as a former client I probably shouldn't be there.
Anyone care to share their opinion on this? What would you do if it was your T?

I'd go unless it was a private thing I couldn't attend. No one has to even know who you are. Closure is important.

I would go too. I'm sorry you have to go through this.

What Rain and Turtle said. Go if you can.

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I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I would go if it were me.

I would also go.

Me too. I would go.

Funerals are about paying your last respects and remembering the life of that person. So long as you are respectful of her family and friends, and you go because you feel it will be beneficial to you, then you should go...if you're able to.

Agree with the others, I would go. Funerals in the UK are public affairs, anyone can attend. It might help you come to terms with what has happened. I'm sorry for your loss.

It would depend on the type of funeral it is. Some families hold private services, for family and close friends only. Other funerals are open. If there's an obituary, it may provide that info near the end, giving the time and place of the services or saying a private service will be held.

You can call the funeral director to ask for information, if you don't have anyone else to call.

I'm very sorry your T is so ill. Please remember she's still alive until she's not. That's sounds like a strange statement, but it's not unusual for people to prematurely act as if the person is already gone. It might be a nice gesture to send a "thinking of you" card (not a get well card) to her office with a short, kind message. You don't have to say anything profound, just say something like you helped me a lot or you helped a lot of people or thanks for everything you did for me. Even if the office is closed, the card will most likely be forwarded on to her and she'll receive it.

When people are very ill, kind words can lift their spirits and bring a little sunlight into their remaining days.

Two of my Ts, the first and the last, have passed. It's very difficult. My last T's wife told me after he passed how much he appreciated cards and short notes from former clients and students who said in a few words that he'd made a difference. He was too weak to read long messages. Just a line or two was the most appreciated by him.

Please take care and be gentle with yourself. I wish you the best.

Thank you all for your input and support. I feel so helpless, alone, scared, heartbroken all jummbled up into one big mixed up pile.
Maybe if I feel brave and strong enough tomorrow, I will call her office, and see if maybe I could send her some flowers.

I thought funeral was a private event normally. If this one is going to be a private event, then whether you want to go or not is one part of the issue. The other one is if the T's family would invite you or wouldn't mind that you attend.

As far as the attendance itself, it really depends on the specific situation like what the therapy was like for you, how it ended, what was the overall relationship like with you T etc. Since I don't know the specifics, I can't suggest anything. Even if I knew the specifics, I, probably, wouldn't suggest anything, as this sounds like one of those situations where there is no right or wrong choice. You will make no mistake one way or another. I'd, probably, go just in order not to blame myself later that I missed the opportunity. I'd go and see afterwards if it resolved something for me and moved me towards closure. What are you going to lose anyway?

I've been to a ton of funerals, and none of them were private. I guess it depends on the person, location perhaps, etc? The obit will usually give funeral arrangements, for anyone interested in attending.

I would most definitely go. No one would know you were a client, and even if they did, you were paying your respects. Nothing wrong with that. If you don't go, you may eventually wish you had. I guess I'm thinking about how I would feel....sorry!

Wonder if the tables were turned, if a T would go to OUR funeral? Hmmm.....

I would abide by the wishes of the family. If it is private, that will be noted in the announcement. Beyond that, I don't think the decision need have any thing to do with your relationship with her during therapy. Clearly, you've expressed care about her since her illness; that emotion is all the justification needed. I think Snakecharmer's idea of a short note in a card is appropriate and allows you to demonstrate your care. I think I would hold off on the flowers; seems a bit premature funereal to me. And it also puts a bit of pressure on her for a response.

I think going sounds like the right thing for you, if you want to and it's not a private family only affair. Not only is it a mark of closure for you, but imo it's also honouring the relationship you had with the person and celebrating the fact that they lived, acknowledging that they touched your life in a positive way.