Devastated!!!

If you don't want interpretations from your therapist, what do you get out of therapy? Does your T just listen to you and nod?

I provided my opinion as PaulaS specifically asked for it (above).

Maybe I should have just given her a hug and said 'sorry', but that wouldn't help her understand the situation any better.

I'm bowing out now. I will save my opinions for those whose minds are open enough to receive and grow from them.

Eye opening to see, even on PC where I think people mostly approach mental health issues with an open mind, that the suggestion of DBT/ personality disorder is being taken as something offensive. Bloody hell.

All we have to go on is the information that a poster provides us with. When people make a few threads, you can see themes and get a sense of their personal style. Yes, it might not be a true reflection on how they negotiate life in the 'real world' but we sort of have to take it at face value and assume it is fairly accurate - otherwise it would make this whole forum pretty pointless!

It's good to see you can admit you are just giving an opinion, but don't you think it is kind of arrogant to believe that you have the right answer for the OP and that your "help" will cause her to grow and be better? This just baffles me. It really does.

I would agree it is probably good to move on if one does not feel appreciated enough.

I never said anything about DBT being offensive, but her own ex therapist and doctor have not recommended it to her and wouldn't they know more about her situation than we would? If a treatment isn't appropriate for someone that doesn't make it offensive, just not appropriate for that particular person.

Yes and no. Paula does not have a therapist at present, I don't know if she is seeing a doctor who she has an established relationship with who would necessarily know her on the level we 'know' her from her threads, about what is going on for her and how she feels about it. My GP for example is very good, but PC members know what goes on in my head far more intimately than my GP does.

Also - no mental healthcare professional ever recommended DBT to me originally. I went asking for it because I'm interested in it. When I finally got assessed by a psychologist from a personality disorders unit, she agreed it would be worth a shot for me. But nobody out of all the others ever suggested it to me.

No, they just abandon her. Again, she asked if anybody on pc had an opinion. Should we be silent?

Can you tell me what comments made you think someone was speaking about DBT in an offensive way? I sincerely didn't mean to if that is how you took any comments I made. I work on a DBT workbook, but there are not groups in my area. I think it is good, but I don't feel comfortable recommending it or any other treatment to anyone.

I think that's a good synapsis, I like it, but we are not Spock's offspring. That totally leaves out the context of emotional suffering going on here. We're not in therapy here, but I think interpersonal judgment can be taken more seriously, more thoughtfully, sometimes. I know some are in therapy for interpersonal/attachment issues to begin with, so it can't be expected or demanded.

Just look at the title of the post again--it's says "devastated".

I think everyone's trying to help, but sometimes posts lacking a certain type of sensitivity can come across as 'kicking someone when they're down", when encouraging and uplifting someone might be more appropriate. Feedback and observations/interpretations can still be provided in that context.

Just some things to think about.

I'm not saying anyone should be silent.

I took the series a few years ago, and i have recommended it to people here - probably when they asked about it.

But i can see where this situation would be different - a dbt group was recommended because there was repeated difficulty finding individual therapy. I see it more as helping to brainstorm possible solutions - not something to be taken negatively (By the op).

I didn't take it negatively. I really didn't. I don't think it's negative.

But the OP is in a different culture I guess. I don't know.

This reminds me of something wise that FKM--who often says wise things-said in another thread, paraphrased--it's quite rare that someone (meaning anyone) will experience a great shift or change simply from another poster's insight or feedback.

(sorry if I messed up the quality of the statement)

True. That applies to me as well. LOL.

Yeah - otherwise therapy would take just one session, or one post. If only!!

Ha - I have not found the therapist to have sufficiently relevant or meaningful insight or feedback at any one appointment or even over time. In fact, I don't recall her ever saying anything that might have even been relevant that I did not already know and had told her I knew it. There are times now when she asks if she can speak and I have to tell her no.

I can understand the OPs reaction if culturally the suggestion of DBT has different implications than it does here. However the reaction from other posters to this suggestion is bizarre to me. Paula asked for advice and this suggestion makes sense based on the content of her posts. Of course it's her decision but it's not inappropriate to put the option out there. Just because her T and pdoc didn't suggest it doesn't mean much and is likely based on their own biases, not what might he helpful for their client (many Ts want to be "the one" who gets to help). If a client takes to DBT, they might stop seeing eye to eye with the individual T (especially a psychodynamic T) and that's not good for a Ts business. It's often an adjunct to individual therapy, but not always. Regardless, people are sharing information, nothing more.

Yes, people are free to make whatever suggestions just as posters are free to reject the suggestions.

It seems as though this thread has gone way off the mark here with arguments regarding diagnosis of a member and the use of certain theraputic groups as well as arguments between members.

It's impossible for people to not make assumptions or have opinions. It's human nature to do so. We must be careful though to post those thoughts, assumptions and opinions in supportive ways and asking questions of the member before posting what we think.

It's also important to remember that when we post about an issue, there may be posts from members that are not relevant in our eyes. That doesn't mean that the poster wasn't trying to be supportive necessarily. What it means is that we have the ability to take what is said that is relevant and to leave what is not.

Because this thread has gone off topic, it is now being closed.