My T and I were talking about how my childhood was basically empty when I was growing up. Parent's weren't nurturing and all of that. I didn't really believe it, but at the same time I did.
Until today I was driving to class and I saw a dad and 3 children hug each other and the dad kissing each of them on the cheek. Keep in mind, I drove past them. I just started bawling my eyes out. It was so sad. They were so happy.

I feel like an idiot for crying. I want to tell my T this but I am scared he will look at me weird or think I am a loser.

[JaneTennison1]

Tell your T. This was a sad moment for you to grieve what was lost to you.

[musinglizzy]

I just told my T this last week. She wanted to know what was one thing that was really bothering me......and I felt horrible for feeling the way I did, but I turned around (so she couldn't see my face) and I started listing off "happy families walking down the street, dads and their kids, good mothers," etc etc.

It was a very hard thing to bring up. But I did it.

[dj315]

I've been going through that mourning phase too recently. It came out of absolutely nowhere. All of a sudden seeing fathers interacting lovingly with their children made me break down into tears if I was in the right (or wrong, I guess) mood. And I haven't found a way to tell my T either for the same reason. So I get it. It sucks and it hurts.

[WrkNPrgress]

I know it hurts but you've had a great accomplishment in this realization. You saw something and realized it was missing from your own life. This is sad but it's a good thing too because it's out there now, unburied to be examined. When we can get this stuff 'above surface' so to speak we can examine it and it will no long be an invisible weight.
You will eventually also start to heal.

Your T should be proud.

[musinglizzy]

I have had the same reaction with dj. First I was feeling sorry for myself. I never knew my dad, and my mom was emotionally distant and later abusive. Now I feel it because my husband has not turned out to be the father I thought he'd be....and he and our teenage son are distant. Although I basically told him last summer, fix it or leave...and he HAS been trying. T talks about her daughter a lot, and that is very triggering for me. But she doesn't stop, even knowing my feelings. It hurts. And it hurts to have a male teacher tell me how awesome my son is. I so wish I could hear that from his dad. I've walked away hiding tears, big time. I totally get it!