[x123]

I have had two sessions, and I am thinking about terminating after my third session.

I feel like my therapist doesn't listen to what I say or dismisses what I say. She has a habit of yawning when I look away to try to answer her questions. Also she thinks I am delusional and should take anti-psychotics - even though I told her I overcame that problem. And of course there is her habit of yawning whenever I look away.

This is the problem I had with my last therapist. It makes me feel like dirt to not be taken seriously as a human. It's degrading and pointless. I saw my last therapist for 12 session, and was shocked to realize that she didn't understand me at all.

[StressedMess]

I expect any professional (who is receiving payment to spend time with me) to be "present" and treat me with respect. If your T seems rude and dismissive, how will she come to understand you?

There are other T's, sometimes a bad fit is recognizable from early on.

Good luck!

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[stopdog]

I interviewed over 30 of them and found two who were not entirely awful. Sometimes finding one you can bear takes a while.

[Lauliza]

Finding a good match can be a long and trying experience. I also think if you have symptoms that appear delusional (whether accurate or not), many therapists may struggle with what to do in session - hence the suggestion you take meds. Just keep trying until you find the right person.

if your take on what is happening is correct. T yawns, so what? My T yawns. If you sense she only does it when you're not looking, that could be to save your feelings? If you think it's boredom on her behalf, than why bother with wanting her to understand you? I'm not sure therapist go into that field to harm clients.
Of course, than there's projection and paranoia on the clients side that can come into being?
But, we're not prisoners, we can leave and find a T thats skilled.

[precaryous]

Can you talk to her about the yawning?

I was scared to- but I asked my T about her yawning. It had happened several different times during session. I was concerned I was not being heard, maybe I was boring her? I also wondered if she was too tired....

T was shocked...she hadn't realized she had been yawning. We talked about all my concerns. She was really very nice about it.

[Petra5ed]

I think it's hard to find a good match, and totally possible this therapist might not be the one for you. The yawning sounds very unprofessional, my only question would be have you ever asked her about this? I would totally ask her in the moment the next time you notice it, you don't have to be mean but it sounds like she's trying to do it when you're not looking only somehow you do notice it, so maybe make her aware so she doesn't offend future clients.

I also think it sometimes takes a long time to feel fully understood. I've been seeing my therapist for a couple years and feel more understood than by almost anyone, however it did take time. I think at 3 or even 20 sessions there was still a lot yet he didn't know about me. I even think it takes time for them to trust us, i.e. like to really figure out when I'm lying and exaggerating and when I'm deadly serious. I felt like my therapist didn't believe me for a long time, for maybe even a year. I've felt like that with a lot of people really...

I also think it can take a really long time to feel understood. I've been seeing my T fior about 8 months, I often do not feel understood, and we talk about it. I think the important thing is to keep talking to the T about how you are finding it, and feeding back the things you feel, like about the yawning, even though it may feel hard to do. Do you see her in the evening?

If you can see a Jungian analyst—a real one, not one who advertizes Jungian theory—delusions are welcome. They love 'em; at least, the one I saw did. He said delusions are a goldmine to a Jungian. Not in a pathologizing way at all, either. Others will be accepting, but they might not know what to do with it. You just have to keep looking.

I would not be down with the yawning, though, and would probably ask if I was keeping her awake with my life problems.

[PaulaS]

I´d leave such a T immediately if the yawning thing was frequent. If a T can´t understand you within 12 sessions and still continues, I think it´s unproffessional. If she/he doesn´t understand you, why not ask or simple tell he/she doesn´t understand you or your problem? Perhaps it´s a question of money or keeping his/her ego intact. I don´t know, hope you´ll find a better T if you are to look for one.

[x123]

Thanks, everybody. In fairness, this therapist has only had two sessions. I am not a good communicator, and I was struggling to answer questions due to fasting and depression. I was trying my best, but I wasn't feeling that good.

The therapist perked-up at the end when it was time to collect the money. She was humming happily to herself.

If this third session goes badly, then I will probably not continue. I'm not sure if any therapist can help me, because I am middle-aged and a creature of habit. I honestly don't know what to do to feel happier. I am out of ideas.

[PaulaS]

I feel for you and I can relate to some parts of your story. I´m a bit younger than you but I also have such thoughts about if a therapist could ever help me. At the moment I´ve had too many bad experiences with T:s that I don´t believe in therapy. But I though think it helps many people.

A client being depressed and fasting, none of that is an excuse for the T to for example yawn for several times during session. It´s ok if it happens rarely but not two sessions in a row. The client shouldn´t feel he/she have to take responsibility for the therapy or the need to act in a certain way to get attention, it´s all up to the T to adapt and to find the right methods, questions and so on to make the therapy progress.

You say you´re out of ideas and that´s a completely understandable reason for seeking therapy. The therapist should be able to help you with this even if you have to give the T some time to get to know you. But after some sessions, the T should be able to understand you that well that he/she can bring some ideas around perhaps changing certain things in your life or whatever you went into therapy for.

I don´t know if you have to choose between certain T:s because of financial strains but if you have the possibility to choose more freely, perhaps you could see one or two T:s more at the same time. Just try them out for an evaluation session.

Originally Posted by x123

Thanks, everybody. In fairness, this therapist has only had two sessions. I am not a good communicator, and I was struggling to answer questions due to fasting and depression. I was trying my best, but I wasn't feeling that good.

The therapist perked-up at the end when it was time to collect the money. She was humming happily to herself.

If this third session goes badly, then I will probably not continue. I'm not sure if any therapist can help me, because I am middle-aged and a creature of habit. I honestly don't know what to do to feel happier. I am out of ideas.

[x123]

Thanks, PaulaS I guess I will keep trying. If this doesn't work out, then maybe I will read a self-help book or try another therapist.