[crk16]

I’ve been seeing the same therapist for a few months and I still can’t talk to her. I think about what I’m going to say before I go, but when I get to my appointment I know I won’t be able to talk. At this point she’s getting mad at me and most of what she talks about is medication. She talked to my mom after our session even though she knew I didn’t want her to. She said that it’s a waste of time for me to go since I can’t talk that much. I don’t know what to do anymore. I'm probably not going to go back to her anyway because my parents are giving up on me.

[doyoutrustme]

You don't know that she is mad at you (unless you ask).

Would you feel comfortable sharing dreams? When I get kind of trapped inside myself I start keeping a dream diary and I'll read one that sounds interesting.

Therapy takes a long time to open up. It's totally fine and normal.

[Soccer mom]

Can you pinpoint why you can't talk? Have you talked to her about your fears?

[FranzJosef]

I never know what to say to those still under the control of their parents. They don't have the same freedom of action as I do.

[Ididitmyway]

I hope you have a good enough connection with your mom to talk to her about this, because it seems like this is the only thing you can do since your mom is the one who makes decisions about your therapy and is in the position to solve problems if something goes wrong. Explain to her what's going on the best you can. May be it's just this particular therapist you don't feel comfortable with. May be there is something else going on. Talk to your mom. I hope she understands.

[Rive.]

You say you think about what you will talk about before your session. Is there any possibility for you to hand her something (just bullet points or main 'themes') written so that *she* can help get you started and/or probe or gently 'push'.

Or if she does email you could send her the main points. Can you ask if she allows that?

At any rate, be frank with her and let her know how hard it is for you to open up & that you would appreciate her help in getting you started and if she has tips etc. At least she will understand where you are coming from & that it is not stubbornness or not wanting to do the work that is stopping you. More importantly, she might help draw you out. Can you ask her?

[crk16]

I dont have a good relationship with my mom

[crk16]

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

I hope you have a good enough connection with your mom to talk to her about this, because it seems like this is the only thing you can do since your mom is the one who makes decisions about your therapy and is in the position to solve problems if something goes wrong. Explain to her what's going on the best you can. May be it's just this particular therapist you don't feel comfortable with. May be there is something else going on. Talk to your mom. I hope she understands.

I don't have a good relationship with my mom or dad

[AllHeart]

I'm a grown adult, and it took me months to really be able to talk to my T. What helped me along though was writing her notes ahead of time. It felt silly, but it was all I could do. Eight months later, my T can't get me to shut-up!

So, maybe you could write your T a note explaining you are currently unable to open up to her verbally, but you do want help. And then write out as much or as little as you want to begin with.

Good luck!!

[Rive.]

You say you think about what you will talk about before your session. Is there any possibility for you to hand her something (just bullet points or main 'themes') written so that *she* can help get you started and/or probe or gently 'push'.

Or if she does email you could send her the main points. Can you ask if she allows that?

At any rate, be frank with her and let her know how hard it is for you to open up & that you would appreciate her help in getting you started and if she has tips etc. At least she will understand where you are coming from & that it is not stubbornness or not wanting to do the work that is stopping you. More importantly, she might help draw you out. Can you ask her?

PS: the 'she' I was referring to here was your T... not your mother.

[Chummy]

I also had lots of trouble talking to therapst when I was younger. I started seeing therapist when I was 16. There were things I wanted to tell them, but I was too afraid and too ashamed. So I was mostly just answering their questions, but they didn't asked the right questions. It took me more than 5 years and lots of different therapist till I was finally able to open up about myself. That had also a lot to do with the terapist I got then. She was better than the others.
I don't know why you are in therapy. I started therapy because I had social anxiety and that was a huge part why I couldn't talk to therapist.

What's the reason you can't talk in therapy. Are you afraid or something? Maybe it helps to write things the things you would want to talk about down and then read it in therapy or give it to her?