[angelicgoldfish05]

Should I tell new T about what happened with ex T this past week? To read about what happened please see these threads: http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...gnored-me.html, http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...-how-wait.html,
I go see her tomorrow... Any input would be great, thanks!

[ragsnfeathers]

If it's something you want to process, or work on with her to get clarity about.

This from someone who doesn't really understand therapy as a relationship, as I'm just learning. If you experience therapy differently, which is likely, you may have a different reason.

[lunatic soul]

I think yes. Therapy is also for dealing with obsessions

Yes. I think you could use the support and maybe break this hold.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by angelicgoldfish05

Should I tell new T about what happened with ex T this past week?

It's up to you, of course, but I would recommend it.

[angelicgoldfish05]

I guess I'll talk to her about it. She needs to know the full extent if she is going to be able to fully know me and therefore help me work through things. It's telling in and of itself that I would even consider hiding it from her. I'm ashamed, for one. And I'm scared she will want to take him away from me or that she will judge me and criticize me harshly. Maybe she won't understand.... I plan on going with the angle that getting a concrete answer- formally and definite- either yes he will see me, or no he won't... that this will give me the closure I needed. And if he will see me, I will explain why I want to do this and how it will also help me get closure and heal past trauma. I guess I'm just also afraid that in telling her, she will just try and take control of the whole situation and make me do things one way or another, that she will decide what is best for me and I will feel like I have to do what she says to please her. (This is directly related to childhood patterns of experiences with parent...) I don't want her to try and take control and change things and make me change and make me do things. Does that make sense? I know good t's would never do these things but it is such a pattern in my history, she will probably feel a strong unconscious sense that she should jump in and try to control me and the situation... it's cause I come across as a helpless child.. I was never encouraged to break away and be independent during the toddler stage where you are supposed to do this. So I never successfully took that step or reached that milestone. My parents encouraged dependence by doing things for me instead of letting me try and fail and learn and grow. And in protecting me from failure, they essentially (albeit unintentionally), stunted my growth.

Anyways, just thoughts on my mind and late-night rambling/self-psychoanalysis.
Looking forward to see t tomorrow.

[Lauliza]

What you say about coming across as a helpless child and others wanting to save/ control you isn't uncommon. I think it worth talking to her about this however since I don't think she'd take the stance of rescuer in this case. I actually think she might focus on your preoccupation with ex t and help you process your feelings. I've been similar in the past and elicit a similar reaction in people, but my T ultimately encourages me to do the confronting if it's what I want. No matter how much you bring out the protective side of a T, a good one will still encourage you to make the decision.