Next week is my sister's birthday, and next month marks 4 years since she died. It was a difficult, traumatic end for the whole family. This time of year is hard and the loss starts feeling raw all over again.

Time to call T up and go see him once or twice. That's probably all I'll need. Just a touchstone to ease the way through the next month.

I actually haven't seen him since the beginning of July although we've touched base a few times. It will be nice to sit and talk and center myself again. He's good at that. It's nice that he and I have the kind of relationship that allows me to see him as needed, no questions asked. He knows.

[healed84]

As much as I can't imagine not seeing T weekly, I hope for a day that I can be where you are in your story of healing.


(((hugs))) to you on the difficult dates coming up.

Originally Posted by healed84

As much as I can't imagine not seeing T weekly, I hope for a day that I can be where you are in your story of healing.


(((hugs))) to you on the difficult dates coming up.

Thanks. I remember feeling that way, but when I reached that point of healing, not needing to see him weekly or even monthly just came very naturally and very painlessly. I just knew. But I have also always known I might need to go back from time to time at points like this, and that's okay too. It also feels very natural. Healing comes.

[granite1]

I remember that time for you Chris. it was a great loss . whishing you well through this time

[IndestructibleGirl]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Hope you get through it with as much comfort as possible from your therapist and elsewhere.

Made an appointment earlier and actually received a quick call from T a few minutes later. His secretary and told him I'm on the schedule about 10 days out, and he was checking with me to be sure I don't need to get in sooner. I assured him it's just a check-in; I'm fine until then. It was nice of him to check though. He told me to call if I need him before then.

Originally Posted by Connections

I like things in chronological order. When my car hit 123,456 I took a picture. I know it is not important but I like it when it does that.

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Originally Posted by lolagrace

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sorry wrong thread

[stopdog]

I hope it helps.

An update: Our session was a no-go because of weather, and I put off rescheduling because I knew my spring break was coming. This past week I've noticed some depression setting in -- just that time of year for me I think, but having been completely without depression for over a year, I DON'T LIKE IT!!!

I called an talked to him Friday and will get in to see him this week to get myself back on track. Next Saturday is the anniversary of my sister's death, and as usual, she is heavily on my mind and mood. He knew immediately where I am at and said he's going to check his schedule in the morning to see if he can get me in perhaps tomorrow (a couple days earlier than I had scheduled) and one more time this week. He's a good man.

He didn't have an opening today, but he did call to talk to me for a bit instead which was helpful. He completely understands my apprehension and thinks what is going on is probably multi-layered. He did make two appointments for me this week since I'm off for spring break.

[rainbow8]

I'm glad your T talked to you today and you have two appointments coming up. I know this is a very hard time for you, and your T is very supportive.

This is off-topic but you don't do PMs so I don't know if you read my response to your post in my thread about T getting it wrong. You were just about the only one who understood what I meant because I'm like your husband. Almost nothing anyone does for me feels "right". It's too "something". You "got it" perfectly and I responded to you but the thread disappeared after that. So, I just wanted to thank you for understanding EXACTLY what I was trying to say in that thread in case you didn't go back to read it.

Glad I could help, Rainbow. I think some here think I'm the devil incarnate at times, but like everyone else, I'm just responding based on my experience in life and therapy. My viewpoint is different at times because I'm in a different place, but honestly . . . aren't we all in different places? I appreciate the thanks.

Well, three hours and I'll be sitting with my therapist. Ready to have him help me unravel whatever the heck is going on with me. When i was talking to him on the phone the other day, he mentioned that he's seeing quite a few people who have seen an increase in their depression in the last month. He suspects part of it is the lousy, gray, completely sunless weather we've had for the last month or so. We finally have the prospect of sun and warmth again starting today actually. Maybe that will help. It isn't all of it (and he isn't implying that it is), but it may very well be part of the problem.

I had a productive session with T. I was late because the interstate was backed up; they decided to fill potholes in the middle of the afternoon. Ugh. So when I got there I was stressed and kind of upset because I knew it had eaten into my time. He helped me relax and refocus before we got started.

As usual, he has an uncanny ability to ask the right questions and probe in the right places, connecting the dots where I couldn't see the dots. I left having a better idea what is setting this off at least which is a start.

As I got up to leave, he came over and leaned in; we were touching forehead to forehead. "Chris, we'll get this figured out," he said and then gave me a big hug. He's not generally a hugger, but we were glad to see each other again.

It says a lot that I haven't seen him since June (I thought it was July, but he looked it up), and we are able to pick up as if we just saw each other a few days ago. He knows me well and we click in our sessions. That dynamic has served me well and I am sure this too shall pass. Just sucks at the moment. I have some things I realized today that I have to do that are going to be anxiety-making for me, but not doing them is what has gotten me in this spot, so it's the lesser of evils I guess.