[Oddlyunspecific]

To put a long story short my mom called my T and wanted to come in my next session. This is sort of a problem, so I was just wondering if anybody could give me some experience with how this is going to play out. What were your experiences like? What tips could you give so that my mom doesn't think I'm blaming her? etc.

[ShantheArtist23]

Oh my gosh, I hate when my mom comes into my sessions! She doesn't anymore, but if something "big" happens, she does. And my T gives her the option! That drives me insane because my mom always makes things seem worse than they are, or brings up things I don't want to talk about. I would talk to your T and your mom (not together, unless you want to) and tell them you don't want her (your mom) in there during your sessions. They are individual sessions for a reason. It would be best to voice your opinions/feelings out into the open. Hope this helps, take care.

[jaynedough]

Just out of curiosity, why does your mom want to go with you? IDK about the legality of your T saying it's OK for your mom to come to the appointment.

Can you maybe see about splitting the appointment so that you can talk with your T before your mom comes in? Or at least contact T by phone or email and set some ground rules?

B/c I tend to be sarcastic, I'd tell your mom to get a T of her own and you'll be happy to join in on her appointments.

[ThisWayOut]

hmm, my earlier response to this seems to have disappeared...
I would suggest talking to your t alone at the start of session, so you two can get on the same page about how things go, and maybe get some coaching on how to talk to mom (or if/when you would like T to step in and talk).
I've only ever had people come to my sessions after being invited, or after asking me directly. I'm not sure if you feel comfortable with your mom being there, or if she "has" to be there (if you are a minor, or there is another reason she has to be there even if you don't want her in the room), or what, but you are still the one in control of the session. You can talk to T before hand about not only how to talk to mom, and about what, but also what your limits are and what would be reasons to ask mom to leave the session.
A long time ago, I took an s.o. to session with me, and when I started to dissociate pretty badly because of the conversation, T asked my s.o. to step outside for a bit. My s.o. was pissed beyond belief, but did leave the room and my T was able to help me ground. We talked a bit about what happened and brought my s.o. back in to continue, but with a different focus.
Other times, I brought my mom and/or my wife in with me. T and I always took some time at the beginning of session to check in and "set ground rules" for the session. That was also the time I asked t for help in explaining some things. Only once did a family member accompany me when I didn;t really want them there. The T and I met before hand, and I was able to tell them I didn't want that family member in session with me. I told her I was worried about backlash from the family member if I out-right told him he was not welcome. T and I never did invite him in, and at the end of session, T "lied" and apologized to my family member for "losing track of time" & not inviting him in. He was then mad at T, not me, and didn't attempt to come to more session after that "waste of time"...

[UnderRugSwept]

My father came with me to a few sessions with one of my Ts awhile back. It was for a very specific purpose, and my T and I discussed in detail how much info would be shared ahead of time, etc., and how the session would go. It was done for the purpose of making my life easier, not for him or because he had asked to come, if that makes sense. I wanted him to come so that my therapist could help explain some things to my father that had been going on with me at the time.
If you are not a minor (even if you are, you still have rights to your own confidential therapy, it's just that I know that parents can make things more difficult for you in this case) and if you don't think you would find it beneficial in any way, I really wouldn't suggest it. That is, don't allow her to come just because SHE wants to; it's your therapy!

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

hmm, my earlier response to this seems to have disappeared...
I would suggest talking to your t alone at the start of session, so you two can get on the same page about how things go, and maybe get some coaching on how to talk to mom (or if/when you would like T to step in and talk).
I've only ever had people come to my sessions after being invited, or after asking me directly. I'm not sure if you feel comfortable with your mom being there, or if she "has" to be there (if you are a minor, or there is another reason she has to be there even if you don't want her in the room), or what, but you are still the one in control of the session. You can talk to T before hand about not only how to talk to mom, and about what, but also what your limits are and what would be reasons to ask mom to leave the session.
A long time ago, I took an s.o. to session with me, and when I started to dissociate pretty badly because of the conversation, T asked my s.o. to step outside for a bit. My s.o. was pissed beyond belief, but did leave the room and my T was able to help me ground. We talked a bit about what happened and brought my s.o. back in to continue, but with a different focus.
Other times, I brought my mom and/or my wife in with me. T and I always took some time at the beginning of session to check in and "set ground rules" for the session. That was also the time I asked t for help in explaining some things. Only once did a family member accompany me when I didn;t really want them there. The T and I met before hand, and I was able to tell them I didn't want that family member in session with me. I told her I was worried about backlash from the family member if I out-right told him he was not welcome. T and I never did invite him in, and at the end of session, T "lied" and apologized to my family member for "losing track of time" & not inviting him in. He was then mad at T, not me, and didn't attempt to come to more session after that "waste of time"...

Weird, I responded to this earlier, and mine disappeared too!

[Partless]

LonesomeTonight and ThisWayOut, it's here, for some strange reason the OP posted the same thing at the same time twice. Not sure if a glitch or what. It's confusing. I also responded there but not here.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...erapy-you.html

If mods are reading, can you merge the two threads?

I would hate that. Its your therapy, not hers.

[ThisWayOut]

Originally Posted by Partless

LonesomeTonight and ThisWayOut, it's here, for some strange reason the OP posted the same thing at the same time twice. Not sure if a glitch or what. It's confusing. I also responded there but not here.

http://forums.psychcentral.com/psych...erapy-you.html

If mods are reading, can you merge the two threads?

most likely a glitch, since PC often gives me an error message saying I can't post twice within 20 seconds even if I only hit submit once...

merging would be helpful

[mortalache]

I actually invited my mother to a session a few months ago and it went way off from what I had in mind. I'd just wanted my therapist to better explain my condition to her (she often thinks she's to blame for my awful moods, not getting how there often isn't a particular reason behind them at all) and the conversation went all over the map. She wanted answers that just couldn't be given and I think she left feeling I was more helpless than ever, but my T did say the session very much helped him understand me better. So there was good that came from it, but I was unprepared for the mess I fell into, and for my mother's frustration with the information she was given. It's left a memory where I wish I could go back and redo everything. I won't ever invite another relative into a session again though. Once was more than enough.

If I could do it again, I would have more thoroughly discussed with my T what I wanted to be shared with her. I intended the session to give her a sense that I was making progress and was in good hands and I definitely should have made that clearer.

A long time ago when I saw t2, I was just barely out of college at the time, my Mom came to one appointment, I had invited her hoping to talk about an extremely hurtful thing she had done. It did NOT go well. Not only was I never able to talk about what I wanted to talk about, but all she did was spout off at the t about how righteous she was.

Sigh. My current t, stated early on that it is INDIVIDUAL therapy and she does not want anyone else in the room. I loved that, of course.

I've taken various family of origin members into sessions along the way. My parents refused to do family therapy when I was a teenager. Now, if a family member was out to visit they were going to therapy. For me it allowed my therapist to see more of the puzzle: yes, they are as nice and as giving as can be, I'm a square peg not fitting into their round hole with all the stink at the bottom. I'd been telling her about all the crap they covered up with expensive smelling perfumes.

My little brother was the last person I took, and it went well. Her chair was rolled close enough to me, and she would calm me by touching my knee or ankle when she thought I needed it. Also, I took 5-10 minutes at the end of session alone.

The last time I took my mom, I was a new mom, and felt I had to protect my mom from all the crap she caused me. Mom, just didn't get it.

I hope to fly to my childhood home this summer, and have a few extended therapy sessions with my dad (we've done this before when I was in college). The therapist is the same one my therapist used when she consulted on my case, so he knows a lot about us already. I'm in my mid fifties, and look forward to this encounter. This time is not with the expectation of my dad changing, but having another witness to say, "I see, hear and understand your story. And, despite all the beauty that most people see, I know it was difficult for you."