[laxer12]

I have a later appointment time so I'm the last person my T sees and a couple of times she has let my appointment run over our scheduled hour. I have no problem with it, I actually love it every time but I'm wondering if that's normal. It wasn't until probably my 6th session that it happened and when I finally got up to go, she asked me if we were at an okay place to stop. Then the following week T let me stay 35 minutes past our scheduled time. Both times I was working through some things and not exactly in a good place mentally so she probably didn't want to just cut me off and send me home since we were finally getting somewhere. I felt bad for keeping her over but it made me feel like she really cared when she would give up that time for me late in her day.

After the second time, I had to email her about something else and apologized for keeping her late. I told her it was okay to kick me out on time, but I was really just trying to be nice. Since then we haven't gone over time at all but I really wish we could, at least every couple of weeks.

Does anyone else's T's let them stay late? I have the luxury of being the last appointment of her day but I'm just curious if that happens to anyone else.

[doyoutrustme]

If it happens occasionally, for good reason, I don't see a problem with it. I tend to be last to and thats part of why I like that slot.

[LonesomeTonight]

Originally Posted by laxer12

I have a later appointment time so I'm the last person my T sees and a couple of times she has let my appointment run over our scheduled hour. I have no problem with it, I actually love it every time but I'm wondering if that's normal. It wasn't until probably my 6th session that it happened and when I finally got up to go, she asked me if we were at an okay place to stop. Then the following week T let me stay 35 minutes past our scheduled time. Both times I was working through some things and not exactly in a good place mentally so she probably didn't want to just cut me off and send me home since we were finally getting somewhere. I felt bad for keeping her over but it made me feel like she really cared when she would give up that time for me late in her day.

After the second time, I had to email her about something else and apologized for keeping her late. I told her it was okay to kick me out on time, but I was really just trying to be nice. Since then we haven't gone over time at all but I really wish we could, at least every couple of weeks.

Does anyone else's T's let them stay late? I have the luxury of being the last appointment of her day but I'm just curious if that happens to anyone else.

My individual T is pretty strict about keeping it right at 50 minutes, but one time recently she let me go like 10 minutes over because I was a wreck. In some ways, it's good, because she never keeps me waiting more than like 5 min in the waiting room. But sometimes you just need that extra time.

Marriage counselor, on the other hand, has kept us up to 30 minutes over a few times when we were discussing something particularly major. And in our individual session last week to discuss transference stuff, he kept me like an extra 20 (I kept saying, "I know we have to stop soon, but..." and he'd be like, "We're fine."). I really appreciate that he doesn't necessarily think everything has to fit neatly into a 50-minute slot. He does this with other patients some, too. So we sometimes end up waiting up to 20 minutes for our appt. But I know it's generally because he's giving someone else the time when they needed it, so I'm OK with it.

[SoupDragon]

For the first 2-3 years we may over run by 5 mins max, but now regularly an extra 10 - 20 minutes.

[Rainydaiz]

Mine does regularly. In fact every session. I think she regrets it now and wishes she had given me better boundaries so I feel safer. I don't though. I'm glad it's like it is. She will warn me at the beginning of a session if she really does have to keep to time. If I'm in a bad way I sometimes pay for a double session and these tend to be nearer to time.

[Rainydaiz]

Oh and I'm the last appointment so it doesn't affect other clients.

[Victoria'smom]

If he doesn't have another client he usually keeps me.

[ThisWayOut]

I think running over can be helpful if it's needed. I prefer T give me the extra time if she has it to give and if I'm in the middle of something, but it also makes me super-anxious to go over by much (5 or 10 minutes is ok, but 20 or 30 sends me into a panic).
If I know we are going ot be covering something really stressful or difficult, I try to ask for a longer scheduled session before hand so I don't feel guilty.
I tend to see keeping time commitments as a respect thing (at least in professional transactions). If a T regularly goes over time, I would just rather them to schedule longer sessions so the next person isn't waiting when they could be doing other things. I feel the same way about my doctors, or any service provider. If it's an occasional thing, it's no big deal.

Oh, and if you feel like you get into things late in the session, maybe you could talk to T about that. I find I struggle with that a lot, so much of what I need to process isn't complete by the time session ends. When that happens, I end up ruminating over it and unable to box it back up successfully between sessions. Definitely something to work out with T (I have recently switched T's way more frequently than I'd prefer, so it's a constant conversation).

[stopdog]

If you don't mind it, I would see no reason to worry. Will you be okay on the occasions when the therapist does not run over? I find the problem to be that people get used to it and get hurt or feel punished and so forth when the therapist is capricious about such things. If you won't be, then I see no reason to worry about it.

I keep the time and leave exactly on time. I usually walk in a minute or two late. For me, I do not like being at the mercy of the therapist so I don't let the therapist make those decisions.

[clairelisbeth]

My T pretty much never runs over, which is ok with me. I know that it just means that she sticks to her schedule really well, which I find very helpful. In the four years that I've seen her, we've run over 10-20 minutes maybe 1 or 2 times, and thats when I've been in crisis. I'm very stable now, and even though I'd love to have more time with her, or even be able to stay and shoot the breeze, I'm happy with the way she does things. She wraps things up nicely and I never feel rushed.

My pdoc does run over with me, sometimes up to as much as an hour, and thats fine with me, because I love my pdoc :-) She says that she prefers to have time to go through everything carefully and not be rushed.

[NowhereUSA]

I'm the last appointment for my T and we probably regularly go over at least 5 minutes. Since it's late, it's not usually longer than about 10 minutes, but we've gone over as much as 30 minutes. One time we chatted for about 2 hours. His next appointment canceled and I was talking so he just let me go on.

[Seeking_Peace]

My T goes over 5-10 minutes on almost every session. On the flip side, there are times my session has started about 5 minutes late (but never more than this). I've noticed that if I'm staying extra more than 5 minutes, its on days when I'm the last client.

I am often T's last client, and yes, we go over from time to time. I figure that's his problem; he's the clock watcher.

[BonnieJean]

I'm often the last client but she always ends it on time.

[JaneTennison1]

We've been anywhere from 5 mins late to 30 mins every now and then. T won't take payment so sometimes I bring her a starbucks.

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Mine goes over a few minutes now and again if the conversation is flowing - at £45 per hour I doubt she does it for the money and it is rather kind of her to be so relaxed.

No, and I really like keeping things within the hour.

[justdesserts]

My t is ALWAYS exactly on time. He is very firm with his time boundaries and I respect him for that, even if I feel like a number sometimes.

[roimata]

I don't keep track of the time. The latest she's kept me has been 30-35 minutes, and she'll keep me for an extra 15 minutes if we're talking about something that came up in the middle of the session and needs more attention than the allotted time could offer. That happens very rarely though.

I know a woman whose therapist runs over by two hours sometimes. That's crazy to me.

[LonesomeTonight]

With my individual T, I'm very aware of the time. If I have something big to bring up, I try to do it with at least 20 minutes left.

[pbutton]

I am also the last client of the day. I don't like going over time. I immediately quit talking if I see it is time for me to go. Apparently he finds this a bit annoying. Just another distancing fear-based reaction that I should probably work on at some point. Not really willing to let this one go yet though.

My t and i always have long, overrun sessions... We have never endeed when we meant to. Sessions are usually 2-3 hours

My former therapist always scheduled me for 2-3 hours. She had a 1/2 hour between clients, so if she ends up going over with any of her clients no one was left waiting. Also, for any of her clients, if they arrived early and she wasn't busy she was willing to take them early for no extra fee.

I had abandonment and attachment issues.

He has allowed sessions to run over by a minute or two a few times, but he tends to be good at stopping at the 45-minute mark. I am the second client of the day for him.

[Raging Quiet]

My t used to run over, sometimes by 10 minutes, but during deeper work or a crisis, once by 45 mins. Usually it would be by 15 mins as I was her last client of the day.

It used to feel comforting that sessions ran over, of course if they did on occasion finish on time, it was easy to think she was fed up of me or angry with me, when in reality she had booked a client or friend after the session. It does play with boundaries a bit.