T has said, "I Love You" ?

Has your therapist told you they love you?

Yes, my former therapist said it many times. She originally said, 'those three words' were for family, and cherished friends. I challenged her use of " I hold you in high esteem, or high regard" — it didn't fit for me and I didn't understand it. She did some thinking, asked friends, family and colleagues about it. They all said that she is definitely a therapist that loves her clients. I was the first client to get "I love you," and often, which meant a lot to me during therapy. We both still say it in emails, after a phone call, or a friendly get together. It's not needed., now, but I definitely needed it during therapy.

I voted "other" because she kinda-sorta has, the whole "I think there is a kind of love in the therapeutic relationship, don't you?" thing that she's said in the past. But also I said "other" because while in the past I definitely wanted her to, now in the thick of termination after 3.5 years, I don't know HOW I feel about it.

The closest my T has ever come was when I was asking why people didn't let me hurt myself. His response was, "Because we love you, dumb@s$."

I think I'd be okay if he said he loved me because I know he wouldn't mean it in a romantic sense. That being said, it's not like I'm jonesing for him to. LOL

I answered yes, and it was a positive experience. My T is of the understanding that real therapy cannot happen without love. I told her it was not her job to love me, and she said "yes, it is."

I like your T's style.

I can definitely live without my T saying I love you.

My t and i say i love you just about every time we talk. Its always positive.

I said no, but I would like them to, but I'm a little conflicted on that. I know my T really cares about me--can tell in how she relates to me, what she says to me, and how. But it might be nice to hear it. Kind of like how she doesn't hug me (though she gave me a Christmas hug). I said something about it once, and apparently she does hug some of her other clients. I guess I should have asked why she didn't hug me!

Then there's my marriage counselor. It's the same where I can tell he cares about me, even more obviously than my T. However, that's kind of tricky because I recently shared some transference stuff with him--trying to figure out if it's erotic, paternal, or some weird mix of both. So yes, I'd like to hear that he loves me (and said as much in another thread), but I also feel it might be complicated emotionally for me, if that makes any sense. He shakes hands at the end of sessions, but doesn't (to my knowledge) hug clients. However, he can sort of "hug from across the room" (or, as I put it, "hug with his voice").

In both cases, I'd rather feel loved/cared for by them than have them actually come out and say it, without making me feel it.

I know my t cares, but I don't think she would ever say I love you. I wish she would, but she won't. She is sweet and kind and compassionate, but she won't ever say directly 'I love you'. Geez, I wish she would!

T has said she thinks of us as equal adults and has protective and caring feelings toward me.

I do too LOL.

hmm...T never said that to me...i dont know how i would react if he did...but i know he cares a lot, because hes said so. i dont tel many people that i love them. its kinda weird for me

I said "other" even though I've been posting about my T saying "love." She hasn't said "I love you" directly and I would think it a little strange if she did. I feel weird saying it directly to her but I need the practice so I can say it more in my "real life." T said "I feel love for you" in the session and wrote "sending love", and signed the last 2 emails " Love, T." I will admit that although I like to hear her say the word love, and write it, it scares me! The child parts need it but my adult parts feel a little embarrassed.

They have both said stuff like they like me and care about me. I responded I did not completely despise them either. Love would not be a word I associate with the therapist and I would be put off if either used the word at me.
Love, for me, is reserved for close/intimate relationships with very close friends or lovers and pets. Perhaps my sibling and parents.

I said no and I want him to, but honestly it's ok that he doesn't (say it). I think he cares about me, love can mean a lot of things... Really I want him to be in love with me/ and or love me in some way I'm sure he doesn't, so really I think hearing it might get my hopes up, when I need to keep my expectations low, like way low.

I can't let "love" into my therapeutic relationship. In my past love has not been a good thing. If I love T, or if T loves me, then complications can arise very quickly. I'd spend my time trying to please T instead of trying to get better. I'd lie and minimize my pain so it didn't cause T pain. I'd probably become consumed with her thoughts, her actions, her happiness; and completely set my own needs aside.

At this point in my life, I'm trying to learn what "healthy" love is, so I must abstain from the unhealthy kind for the time being.

OTHER: No, and I'm not sure if I want that or not. I certainly hope she cares but Love seems like a strong word. Our relationship feels more professional than that.

It's odd to think that despite my transference, or perhaps because of it, I'm not ready to believe she would 'love' me at this point. Some days I wonder if she even likes me—*and then I wonder why i need her to feel anything towards me at all. That's all my own stuff.

no and i would never want her to.

I don't even understand why a T should say such a thing. I would hate it if mine did. There are other ways to express positive feelings towards someone and to show that you care.

I said yes, but it's probably more like a "kind of." I told my T that I love her and I asked her if she loved me, too. She said "yes" and then proceeded with a lot of explanation. She said she usually shows me love, rather than expressing it verbally-- but that it is there and has developed over time. She also said it can be dicey to say "love" in therapy, but felt comfortable using it with me because we both understand that it is platonic/therapeutic and not romantic/sexual.