Hi all, just wanted to share some of what I'm reading a bit of when I get a chance.

from Pema Chodron's book "When Things Fall Apart"

"Generally speaking, we regard discomfort in any form as bad news. But for.. people who have a certain hunger to know what is true.. feelings like disappointment, embarrassment, irritation, resentment, anger, jealousy, and fear, instead of being bad news, are actually very clear moments that teach us where it is that we're holding back. They teach us to perk up and lean in when we'd rather collapse and back away. They're like messengers that show us, with terrifying clarity, exactly where we're stuck. This very moment is the perfect teacher, and lucky for us, it's with us wherever we are.

..The "events and people in our lives who trigger our unresolved issues could be regarded as good news. We don't have to go hunting and looking for anything. We don't need to try to create situations where we reach our limit. They occur all by themselves, with clockwork regularity.
Each day, we're given many opportunities to open up or shut down. The mos precious opportunity presents itself when we come to the place where we think we can't handle whatever is happening. It's too much. It's gone too far. We feel bad about ourselves. There's no way we can manipulate the situation to make ourselves come out looking good. No matter how hard we try, it just won't work. Basically, life has just nailed us.
.. Most of us do not take these situations as teachings. We automatically hate them. We run like crazy. We use all kinds of ways to escape--all addictions stem from this moment when we meet our edge and we just can't stand it. We feel we have to soften it, pad it with something, and we become addicted to whatever it is that seems to ease the pain. There are so many ways that have been dreamt up to entertain us away from the moment, soften its hard edge, deaden it so we don't have to feel the full impact of the pain that arises when we cannot manipulate the situation to make us come out looking fine."

.. "Basically, disappointment, embarrassment, and all these places where we just cannot feel good are a sort of death. We've just lost our ground completely; we are unable to hold it together and feel like we're on top of things. Rather than realizing that it takes death for there to be birth, we just fight against the fear of death."

Letting go is okay. It facilitates a chance for rebirth by learning new ways, like what we do in our therapy.



ECHOES

[MissCharlotte]

Oh Echoes, what a beautiful quote. I am especially touched by the ending where she said, "realizing that it takes death for there to be birth."

We just can't have it all or take it all with us on our journey can we? In order for us to develop as mature humans, we have to give up and strip away the facade that we have assumed over the years. That is the death. The work we do in therapy, looking deep within or just noticing is what gives rise to this death and then to birth, the birth of our true selves that live withn our core.

Thank you.

((( sister )))

Your post about "Who Stole My Life" inspired me to get that book out and read that part. You were in pain and I didn't thnk it would be appropriate to post it there.

I want my life back too, but it isn't "there". It's "here" and I have to make it what I want. I can't always remember that. I want to "go back". I want to go back to where I lived as if my old life is there waiting. But it isn't. It's here and now. Here and now... this very moment... is all we have.

I hope that 'noticing' the dissociation is helpful for you. I think there will be many revelations for you there.

[MissCharlotte]

((((((((Echoes))))))))

Ah, yes, as it unfolds, noticing here, today, in this moment. Yes, I also hope that noticing the dissociation is helpful too. It is frightening and painful but I suspect it will ultimately reap rewards. I just get afraid of the pain and I fly away!

I understand, but try to keep in mind that your answers are there, in the pain, waiting for you to notice them.

((sister))

[SecretGarden]

Thanks for this post Echoes...

Basically, life has just nailed us.

What a true statement.... I know that there are many opportunities for growth but sometimes ....I would like to take a pass. lol.... I know... I know...

tis time to learn.

.. "Basically, disappointment, embarrassment, and all these places where we just cannot feel good are a sort of death.

I suppose that I consider those things a kick in my derrier when I get back off it to get me percolating again once I catch my breath.

[sunrise]

ECHOES, thanks for that beautiful quote. I like this: "Rather than realizing that it takes death for there to be birth, we just fight against the fear of death." That is somehow very positive and helps calm the fear and give courage to face the difficult and painful.