 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Aug 16, 2007, 10:52 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I have a new effort to let people know a little more about me and my struggles...I have a tendency to spout off ideas in the forums that in practice are hard...very big steps...
Relationships...I let my ex get to me the other day...I've been agitated and tired after finishing a major project on top of the usual work load...I've been doing pretty good about changing my reactions to her...but she got a button yesterday...Actually it is usually when I'm overwhelmed, tired, exhaused that this happens...some days I actually think she picks the worst possible moment in my life to puch just the right button... So I keep trying ... but somedays I would really like to tell her off...
__________________
Direction  Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
|
#2
Aug 16, 2007, 11:08 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
((((((((((Direction)))))))))))
__________________
"You look at me, and you dont like what you see. But this is the price of living with you, Mother. " - White Oleander |
|
#3
Aug 17, 2007, 03:17 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
would it be so bad if you told her to lay of a bit, you seem to me to being doing as much as possible and are a great person, but sometimes we are alowed to be too tierd to handle everything take it easy on your self
(((((((((((((((((direction))))))))))))))))))))
__________________
 No kind action ever stops with itself. One kind action leads to another. Good example is followed. A single act of kindness throws out roots in all directions, and the roots spring up and make new trees. The greatest work that kindness does to others is that it makes them kind themselves.
|
|
#4
Aug 17, 2007, 06:34 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
(((((((Direction)))))))))
sounds like you still have things under control!!! Dee
__________________
Parce que maman l'a dit 
|
|
#5
Aug 17, 2007, 07:18 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
(((((((((((((((((((((( Direction ))))))))))))))))))))))))
What you have written could be exactly the same of any of us here. You are doing your best to maintain. I think you are doing a great job. There are always times when those buttons are more easily pushed...like you said, when you are feeling low and most vulnerable it seems to happen. Remember this my friend.....YOU can decide not to respond to her until you are feeling more rejuvenated and stronger. After you have time to think and feel and put things into perspective....then you can respond. That way, the cycle of agitation is broken. Keep on truckin Direction....you are doing great! Hugsss sabby |
|
#6
Aug 17, 2007, 08:45 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Ex's have a way of knowing just when and where to push the button that triggers us.... probably because hey we were married to them - who knows us best.. right?
There were times, when I just refused to deal with my ex... to talk to him at that point in time... not forever.. but call it self protection.. when I was already wiped out.. that wasn't the time.. Though I know sometimes.. you just can't avoid it.. cause the situation needs to be addressed... ((((hugs))) |
|
#7
Aug 17, 2007, 09:47 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
It sounds like you are doing great, Direction! Change is always so challenging, especially when it involves changing the way we respond when our buttons are pressed.
The conditions you describe for feeling overwhelming are a lot like one of the AA sayings: H - A - L - T. It means that I have to stop and take care of me when I am Hungry Angry Lonely Tired. I started out being quite divorced from even recognizing these conditions in myself. It helped a lot to get into a relationship with another AA; it was so much easier to spot when another person was acting as a response to Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired and needed to HALT to take care of the real, underlying condition. We both had a good sense of humor, so we could usually make light of the other's miff and get back on track together. Keep going, Direction. It sounds like you are on the right track.
__________________
|
|
#8
Aug 17, 2007, 10:38 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I'm beginning to realize for me that it's okay to feel the negative, let-down feelings; to be pre-occupied with, even obsess over what I should have done or should have said or wish had happened, etc. The "bad" things are just as much a part of my life as the good ones.
I noticed, Direction, that you mentioned first that you had finished a major project on top of all your regular work. Congratulations! Think back to whether you would have been able to even realize that hard work making you tired and vulnerable to additional "stuff" from you ex- in the past? It looks pretty "balanced" to me and your realizing the good and the bad looks wonderful. There's always going to be "stuff" mixed in. Life seems a give and take sort of thing to me. The trick is the recognition and then moving on and looks like you have that down pretty well.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
|
#9
Aug 17, 2007, 04:53 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Sabby...your right in many situations I do not need to respond the instant she emails, calls, etc. Thank you..
__________________
Direction Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
|
#10
Aug 17, 2007, 04:55 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Thank you for all the responses and the hugs!
__________________
Direction Ripple Effect - Small things can make a difference |
|
#11
Aug 17, 2007, 06:15 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
((((((((((((((((((((((((( Direction ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
You are most welcome  Hugssss sabby |
|
#12
Aug 17, 2007, 07:37 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Direction, i feel that you're being too hard upon yourself. as freewill so aptly put it "they're our exes, they know how to get to us"........you just continue down your path. it's for you and you alone. i have tremendous faith in you, you know that......xoxoxo pat
|
|
#13
Aug 17, 2007, 09:17 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
((((Direction))))
Yeah don't be scared to give yourself pause and reflect time... you're doing really well
__________________
If you're going through hell, keep going.... (Churchill) |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
Similar Threads
|
||||
| Thread | Forum | |||
| letting go | Relationships & Communication | |||
| Letting you know I'm here... | New Member Introductions | |||
| just letting everyone know..... | Other Mental Health Discussion | |||
| Not Letting Her In | Psychotherapy | |||
| Letting go ... | Other Mental Health Discussion | |||
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
