I know this is just my own stupid issue but dang i wish my t would do what he says. His words are always spot on supportive and if he really did what he said i could see myself be living. He had told me that he has a memory problem but darn these things are killing me inside.

Yesterday wasa super hard day for me and partly because nightmares have kept be up and i was trying to get meds to help. At one point i said i didn't know what i would do if this doc said there wasn't any meds to make me so dreaming ands he said if that happened he would call around and check with others. The doc just prescribed seroquel to help me sleep. I talked to t after and everything changed to he wished there Wad something he could do to help. ..... I was thinking 'what happened to 15 mins ago when you were going to fight to try to find me help? Of course i can't say the words though.

I was really upset feeling this seroquel wasnt going to do snot and he kept saying to give it a try and he Was going to call or text today and check on me. He wanted to see if it worked and how i felt. hee said it several times. I kept thinking. .wow, would he really care enough to check on me. People never check on me in my life, and i kept thinking how great that would be to have someone really do that. No text or call ever came. He even had an appointment in the place i work with another client so we spoke a minute about something not related to me at all and he NEVER thought to even ask how the night was our how i was doing.

Why doi get my hopes up that someone could care. I know better and gave up hoping for that so long ago but he always had the perfect words to say and I hope so bad. I know he has this memory problem but how can you care at all and not remember when Yesterday was the worst day i have ever had with him. I was really upset.

Please don't say to tell him tomorrow, can't do it. Don't necessarily want 'help' i guess because some have asked that before also. Guises o just need to say something cause i can't let him know how bad this keeps hurting because he does these things regularly but i don't think he remembers or realizes.

I just hate this. Want to bawl but can't let it won. .. want to leave therapy, but don't at the same time. I know it ain't going to change and the problem is in my head and not his. He is a great guy but this memory thing keeps ripping my heart out each time. It is all my issue and u know, but ouch!

I don't think it is all your issue. It's easy to convince ourselves in therapy that things are all our own issues, that's what we're 'supposed' to think. He said he would do something and he didn't. That is hugely disappointing. I think the memory issue is a big deal too. Is he just excusing his poor continuity with clients by saying that? If he has a memory issue he needs to either spend far more time making and reading his notes with clients and writing himself reminders, or he needs to quit being a T. Is this relationship therapeutic for you?