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#1
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I started developing psychological and somatic problems after my Dad died when I was 21.
I feel that my therapist thinks my problems are all about my mother and thatīs what she always leads to conversation to. I realize that itīs a problem, her being an alcoholic etc, however, I feel that I really need to talk about my Dad more, about what it means to have lost him so young, and under those circumstances and grief. I never talked about this to my mother or sister so I feel there is definitely a need. Itīs strange that my T doesnīt seem to see that, because I suppose it is obvious. Should I try more to talk to her about my Dad or resign and find a therapist who can see this importance on his own? |
#2
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I remember when I first started therapy in college and the first session I talked okay, told my story and at the end of the time the therapist said, "I never heard you mention your father once". I was shocked! Maybe you should deliberately start talking about your father, see where that goes? It could just be that it is not obvious to your therapist that you have a need to talk about your father, especially if you go along with where she leads the conversation. Just say, "No, I'd like to continue talking about my father, I think it's important" if she tries to move it to another topic? If she doesn't work with you then, then you will know that perhaps, for your purposes, you need another therapist?
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
![]() Alishia88
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#3
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I agree with Perna. It's your therapy anyway, you should be able to choose the topic you discuss but maybe your therapist doesn't quite understand how important it is to you to talk about him. A good therapist will at least try and figure out why you want to talk about him, whether or not she thinks it is the most important topic. Be deliberate about bringing it up and if after that she still guides the conversation towards your mom, ask her why. She might have a good reason but if not, then maybe find someone else.
Good luck ![]() |
![]() Alishia88
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#4
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For me, more than one therapist is quite useful. Perhaps try it and see.
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Please NO @ Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live. Oscar Wilde Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. |
![]() Alishia88
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#5
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I think it depends on how you've talked in therapy so far. It's one thing if you just talked generally about your life and issues and your therapist thought that your relationship with your mother was priority; than I think you need to be very specific about what it is you need from the sessions at this point in time. It's another story if you have repeatedly told your therapist that at this point in time you need to talk about your father, and she still insists on another topic. Then yes, if you really don't feel understood and want to go for another therapist, that may just be what you need.
I think you could explain to your therapist what you've said to us here - that you understand the importance of your relationship with your mother, but your need is to talk about your father in therapy. Perhaps ask if she is aware that she seems to be pushing another topic and if so, why she does this. She may have good reason or she may just not know what you need. I think communication is key. |
![]() Alishia88
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