2 days till my session(I've been to 5 therapists)

First this won't be my first time in fact I've saw this therapist for about 2 months altho I've skipped 2 appointments on purpose because of frustration. Lately I've had dreams terrible dreams of being mad at him for not doing what I need him to, you see he is the "best" in the area regardless of the fact not everyone works wwith certain theerapissts I feel this being my 5th in 3 years I've pushed them away yet at the same time I feel they've gone to few lengths to help...............................

PS...sry I dont ever help anyone on here im useless.

You are not useless. Everyone goes through times when they can be supportive and when they need support. Either way is ok. Have you told your t what you need him to do? Maybe you haven't been clear? Being the "best" may or may not be the best for you. You need to be able to connect with this person. Do you? I hope so. Please take care I will be thinking about you and hoping it went well.

BB

Know that you are an active participant in your therapy. You need to let your therapist know what you need.

I wish you good things.... and wish you progress.

You can do it!!

Your comment about feeling useless struck out for me. Because I recall way back when I discovered PC I was in such a sorry state that all I did was ask for support. I felt badly about doing so. But I was unable to give back at that time. Eventually, I hit upon better times (I'm on a roller-coaster ride...) and was able to offer feedback and support.
There are days when I come here and cannot find it within myself to give, as I myself am so depleted. And I have learned that it's ok. Yes, it's OK. The people here certainly understand that.
Besides, by allowing us to support you, provides us with the pleasure to give to you, and providing us with pleasure is far from useless imo! Honestly, sometimes I want to give, and am grateful for the opportunity to offer some words of support, encouragement, or understanding here.
And yes, please tell your t what kind of response you want from him/her. Otherwise he/she's left to do what he/she feels is most helpful. And you may or may not like that.
Take gentle care,

I think that when I first started therapy there was indeed a feeling of helplessness.... sometimes there still is. I am sorry for the deep pain that you must feel. Please reach within to share what needs to come out. As some of this comes out you will hopefully feel more direction for where you need to go .. You will also be able to help your T with where you need to go. I know it seems short sighted to tell you are in charge of your sessions while you are in such pain but ultimately you are. I hope that you will find the T that will work WITH you and that you will feel more able to work with. Wishing you good things....

Tell us how it goes/went today? Anything new/hopeful/helpful?

My appointment went really well actually. At first I wasn't sure if I was going to go, I felt really awful, I have a virus but decided to go. We talked about what therapy was truly about. As well as medicine. I told him about not feeling comfortable or helped by meds or therapy in the past, he understood completely. He said I was a extremly kind person who didn't like to hurt ppl therefore it was hard for me to tell someone they where inturpreting something wrong. Right now we're going to start working on a diganoses. First and formost Bi-Polar.....anyway it went well.

You know Moonkins - you may not see it, but you have made - I think - a lot of progress.

I remember most of your posts...you may want to go through them on your own sometime - there is a change in tone.

I'm glad that the new T was listening to you. I'm glad you held in there.