[Apathy123]

Last night it was brought up by my new t that I seem to avoid doing what my current t has suggested I do between sessions. Things like art journaling or we agree on a goal between sessions like getting out of the house and going to church or to a movie and I just don't do it.

They both asked me to think about why I might be doing that and what they can do differently so that I'd be more open to following through with things that even I admit would be helpful.

I don't know what to think other than, hello, I'm depressed and apathetic, I just don't feel like doing anything. I think specifically with the art journaling, I need to be in the mood and something needs to come to me before I can actually follow through with it. It's not something that I can or want to do just because someone tells me to do it.

Have you been in a similar situation or have any advice?

[SoupDragon]

I have been reading a book today about depression and it talks about how depressed people act in depressed ways, by avoiding things, eating poorly etc. The book suggests that if someone who was not depressed was restricted in their activity and ate a poor diet, then they may start to feel depressed. Therefore if a depressed person tried to act in a way similar to the way non depressed people act, this may have an impact on their mood and reduce the depression.

However I understand from my own experience how it is so very hard to get any motivation or energy to do anything when I am feeling low. I wonder if this is what your T is getting at? That by trying to do these things even when we don't want to, may help us.

Soup

could you tell your T you haven't got the motivation? is there anything that gives you more energy, something as simple as maybe coffee?

[LonesomeTonight]

Does your T explain why you should be doing those things? Like is it just for you to get out of the house, for example, or is it a specific activity he/she thinks will benefit you? Or maybe you need to be setting smaller goals, like going to church might be more intimidating because you'd be seeing a bunch of people, but what if it was just, say, going for a 10-minute walk, something like that?

I say this as someone who doesn't often get assignments from my Ts. But right now, husband and I are under assignment from our marriage counselor to either say something critical of the other person or get into some kind of argument each day (he's trying to teach us that these things can be emotionally safe). Didn't manage to do that yesterday, the first day. So I get it!

You used the words "was restricted in their activity". I think you'd have to make someone with healthy habits eat bad food, skip bathing for days, not comb their hair, and stay at home and not go out. You'd have to force them or pay them money. My opinion.

When I'm extremely depressed, I feel like someone would have to force me to do the healthy things that I'd normally do when I'm feeling better.

[growlycat]

I am actively resisting everything CBT T is asking me to do right now. I think, for me anyways, I feel like a dancing bear . No more. I am not a series of behavioral changes, I'm a person. He doesn't seem to care about the person.

One week he is saying he is proud of me and the next he is saying how slow my progress is. I don't feel like performing anymore, for anyone.

My T really struck a bad nerve when he tried to tie positive actions with rewards. I had a realization that I have nothing to look forward to so why bother. I'm a suicidal person who spends a lot of time trying not to think about it.

Sorry, I hope I didn't hijack your thread. Don't know if hopelessness makes your goals seem pointless too.

Yes, I've been in a similar situation. I'm a conscientious person by nature, so when someone asks me to do something, and I agree or don't disagree and then I don't do it, I feel bad. I am just coming out of a long, fairly bad episode of depression.

The therapist that has helped me so much is very warm and affirming and never asks me to do homework or anything, really. This has had the effect of making me feel relieved and over a period of about 4 months, I have gradually started to do some things like leave the house 2 days in a row (even if it was for food shopping & a drs. appt.)

I've taken a shower a couple of times when I wasn't going to leave the house. I've done some personal paperwork and phone calls that I'm behind on.

I managed to send a birthday card and gift to a family member & have it arrive on time. (Yes, I ordered the gift online.)

I still haven't done anything big, but I feel like I'm making slow progress. I have occasional mild setbacks where I eat frozen pizzas and don't leave the house for 5 days, but then I snap back into my slow improvement mode.

Sure, maybe it would be better if I just "got out there", but I had been failing to do that for nearly 3 years.

Maybe you can tell your therapist that you don't want any homework and see what happens.

Doing homework us a form of conforming to someone else's idea of what you need.
Personally, that style of working wouldn't work for me.

[Apathy123]

Thinking about it and what everyone else wrote, I think it may be a combination of things. With the art journaling specifically, I think that just can't be something I'm "suggested" to do. It's creative, and I haven't been feeling very creative lately and doing it just to do it because I'm told to just ruins the creativity for me.

The other things I agree to , she'll ask me what goal I want to set and I've said going to church because I want to and I've gone sometimes but other times I just end up holed up in the house, I'll miss morning service and tell myself I'll go to the evening service at a different church and the time comes and I just don't go. That I think is the depression, the apathy and I have a hard time over coming it.

I mean I'm in trouble at work and I still snooze for an hour in the morning before getting up and wait till the last absolute minute I can leave the house before I'm late for work. Even though I know if I'm late I could get in more trouble, I just can't change it.

That's what makes me think a med change is in order to give me something to nudge me to get going.

[peaches100]

The thing that came to my mind when reading your post was that getting out and actively taking part in activities is something that is usually encouraged after you've been able to relieve some of the core depressive symptoms like apathy, no energy, lack of interest in things, etc. Until those things are under more control, it may feel impossible to go out and do things. Are you on any anti-depressant medication? I know that was necessary for me, as well as therapy, so that I could start regaining my energy and desire to participate in life.

[Apathy123]

Originally Posted by peaches100

The thing that came to my mind when reading your post was that getting out and actively taking part in activities is something that is usually encouraged after you've been able to relieve some of the core depressive symptoms like apathy, no energy, lack of interest in things, etc. Until those things are under more control, it may feel impossible to go out and do things. Are you on any anti-depressant medication? I know that was necessary for me, as well as therapy, so that I could start regaining my energy and desire to participate in life.

I agree with that peaches. I am on antidepressants but it's questionable how well they are working or if I need an adjustment or augmentation with something else because the motivation is definitely lacking.