[Sarah1985]

Today I shared my diary with my therapist with some detailed memories of abuse I went through. It was the first time I EVER shared with anyone details of these memories. I don't know what I was expecting, but she literally didn't say anything. It was near the end of the session, so I didn't expect her to say a lot or for it to even lead to a discussion, but I thought she would have at least said something reassuring and/or comforting, or at the very least a reaction, as it was my first time sharing those details, and she knew that and how hard it was for me.

Has anyone experienced this in therapy? I feel so ashamed and disgusted now; like maybe I shouldn't have opened up like that. And of course I don't have another session until next week. Ugh. I want to reach out and e-mail her, about how that made me feel, but I'm afraid of what her response might be, or that any response would just be an fake one.

[laxer12]

I can understand that it was hard not to get any kind of reaction from her...I held back secrets too for a long time and when I finally shared them, it was really comforting to here what people had to say about it, even if it wasn't the "right" thing to say. Getting a reaction validated the experience which I'm sure was something you were looking for.

I would also be really frustrated and have a hard time the next week waiting for the next session. I don't know if emailing her is good idea or not. I would struggle with the exact same thing. I hope you can make a decision that is best for you and that it works out well.

[dj315]

I would definitely email her if it is eating you alive. I feel ashamed and disgusted when I open up, even if my therapist gives a response. One session I opened up about a horrible time in my life, and the shame backlash that hit a couple of days later was awful. It took me a couple of weeks to email him about it, but it helped a lot. Let her know that she left you hanging and you're uncomfortable with it--If she's a decent therapist she won't get offended or criticize you, and she will discuss it with you at least at your next session, but hopefully a little bit over email immediately. Believe me, sometimes they are completely oblivious to the fact that something is bothering us, so it's probably something she just missed. But it might be better to get it out there so you're not sitting in your shame and disgust for a week. I know it sucks to deal with!

[Ididitmyway]

I am so sorry you had this kind of reaction from a therapist. I was in the same situation several times in therapy and I found it beyond just insensitive. It was traumatic for me. In some instances I did tell them that, in others I didn't. I found it helpful to tell them, even though I didn't like their responses. It was more important to me to let them know how they made me feel than to try to protect myself from their responses. Their responses were defensive and didn't make me happy, but I was still glad I told them how I felt. I would've felt worse if I hadn't. It was more about my need to speak up and to defend my dignity as opposed to the need to solicit a specific response from them. I hope this makes sense.

Depending on the type of therapy you are in. The not reacting is common. T can be allowing you space to just be with the feelings both of you may have had after reading details such as she did.
T's respond gently. Reactions are normally in inner thing that your T may have been trying to understand.
Either way, best for you to talk to her.

[Sarah1985]

Thanks everyone for your comments. I went ahead and e-mailed her. I'm still hurt by it, but it feels better letting her know where I'm at. She really is a great therapist and she normally is so caring, validating and expressive after I let her read my diary, I guess I was just hoping for something like that and taken back by no response. The no response, kind of reinforced the shame of it all and made me feel worse. I'll let you know when/if she replies.

I'm not sure what you mean by type of therapy... It's just normal talk therapy at a private practice.