[WrkNPrgress]

What progress have you made that you weren't expecting?

I had a moment the other day when I was just kind of daydreaming and I stated taking notes around an idea and it hit me how much I've learned about myself in the past year or so.

Some of these things didn't really click at first, they were more like seeds planted. I didn't really think much of it all at first but over time something has grown and now I have a fully realized vision of something akin to progress. It was really a kind of ah ha moment you have in a garden when you first getting some fruit from something that was once just a seedling. And it's so subtle, so much of it is non-verbal for so long.

I think i have finally got a grasp on the root of my anxieties and self-loathing and really made significant progress in self-acceptance and better self-care. I'm hoping I can turn this around to foster some better behaviors with other people... Maybe not be so grumpy (which is just my self-loathing) at times when I'm insecure. Maybe not be so scared to reach out to people and foster connections. These later things i didn't even realize I was missing or wanted until recently.

I just wanted to share a positive moment here. I hope everyone has something like this in their practice.

[stopdog]

How to better avoid the traps the therapy woman sets.
I always feel a rush of victory when I successfully traverse the minefield.

[PeeJay]

I learned that I crave economic security and relationship stability and financial stability. And that there is nothing wrong with that.

[Coco3]

I learned so much that I didn't expect. For example about my relationship with my parents. I grew up in an unsafe environment. I left the house when I was pretty young. I didn't feel a strong connection to my parents because they weren't emotionally available and they never really supported me. So here I was living my adult life, feeling all grown up. Turns out, I never really cut loose, emotionally speaking. That was a shocker. My T helped cut the ties and to create more autonomy.

I also learned to be more gentle for myself. Things don't have to be perfect anymore. Good is good enough. And I've found other ways to spend my time more fulfilling.

The best thing I learned, or gained, is self worth. I now truly believe in myself. And I truly believe that other people like me, are sincerely nice to me and care about me. I can still be insecure, of course. Like every other human being.

[WrkNPrgress]

Originally Posted by PeeJay

I learned that I crave economic security and relationship stability and financial stability. And that there is nothing wrong with that.

This is something I have yet to admit to myself. :/ Good on you!

[JustShakey]

That people really do want to help. I don't owe someone my firstborn or undying devotion because they choose to help. That that is, in fact, an insult to their good will.

And this:

Originally Posted by PeeJay

I learned that I crave economic security and relationship stability and financial stability. And that there is nothing wrong with that.

Anything I learned about myself in therapy was torn away by the ending, BUT I learned that I can survive a horrible abandonment by someone I trusted and put my faith in and hoped would help me heal. I am a lot stronger than I thought I was. I survived that and I know if I can anyone can get through similar things. (Hopefully most people won't have to deal with that.)

[rainbow8]

I learned that I like hugs and touching. I used to cringe when I knew a friend or relative was going to hug me. I learned that from my current T; none of the others allowed touch. Now I even initiate hugs, so I learned I can get some of my needs met that way.

I learned that there are ways to deal with anxiety other than meds. I learned about meditation, yoga, and mindfulness.

I learned that were some experiences in my past that caused some of my problems, that my pattern wasn't just a game.

I learned to have compassion for my "parts."

I learned to be somewhat comfortable talking about my body and sex, and that it's okay to talk about anything with my T.

I learned a lot more but I'll stop for now.

[Giucy]

1) Fighting to get a diagnosis, no matter what pdoc told me. Pdocs told me more often than not how much diagnosis is unimportant and not seeing my future with a diagnosis etc...
I had one pdoc to whom I answered to this assertion : "Η διάγνωση δεν κάνει την πρόγνωση", "the diagnosis doesn't make the prognosis". Yep, this ex-pdoc's mother tongue was Greek, so we had sessions in Greek
His facial expression was "how couldn't I think about it ?" and facepalmed (for his own faulty thinking btw).

2) Distinguishing between being excessively anxious vs there's something truly wrong.
My GP planted strong seeds of teaching. Therapy completed it.

3) Setting and maintaining boundaries even with health care professionals.
GP has been my best teacher for it, and my current T reinforces such teaching.

4) Disagreeing with a health care professional does not necessarily equal being mentally ill.
GP was my primary teacher : her expression "we are not married with the specialist" was her way to encourage me to have the guts to change specialist when one doesn't do the job.

5) Therapy taught me that not wanting children is not a sign of being mentally ill, it's not a hallmark of stupidity and doesn't call for guardianship.
No matter what judgmental naysayer could say or imply : they don't have to deal with the consequences, neither with my health, when things go wrong. Their life, my life.

6) High social status doesn't immunize from delusional speech. Current T was clear about it last session.
Person's delusional thinking is not my fault and there's nothing I can do to change her delusional thinking.
(I had to deal with a politician's delusional thinking. Feeling so powerless was quite awful, and I feared I was not understanding accurately. I learnt later from other people who met him that politician was used with the very same delusional speech he told me directly. Turned out I actually understood accurately, politician was completely delusional instead)

7) Having brain injury doesn't actually prevent me from being fully capable to decide, no matter what stereotype can say. Petition for guardianship in my case would be absolutely ridiculous from T's, GP's, neurologist and pdoc's point of views.

8) I have no reason to accept bad treatment just because I suffer from something unusual.
I have no reason to accept doctors treating me as if I had intellectual disability just because I suffer from brain injury.
I have no reason to accept being treated as if I pretended to have a disability just because of my intellectual ability.
(stereotypes say "brain injury = mental retardation" and "intelligent people can only fake their disability for material gains". If MRI fake brain injuries, horses fly then !)

I realize that my GP is not a psychotherapist, and she always told me so.
However, her teaching was a strong therapeutic one that psychotherapy solidified.
Sometimes, she's been more a therapist than a T.

1. They didn't break me. I thought they did, but I am very much stronger than what they tried to do to me.

2. I am ultimately responsible for myself: my health, my feelings, my decisions, my behaviors. Might as well own that and take back my control. As an adult it has never been in anyone else's control anyway. I'm not that child anymore; that's reassuring.

3. My mental illness is a real pain at times, but it is episodic and I've made it through each and every time. It doesn't doom me; it just creates episodic challenges that I can manage one at a time.

[lizzyjb]

Unfortunately I have discovered that no matter what happens in my life, I only can see how bad is it. That's definitely not saying anything good about myself.

That there is no 'perfection'. That we basically are who we are but learn to handle it/live with it/understand it...

[WrkNPrgress]

Some great posts here, guys! Thanks!

Life goes on, and I have choices. My happiness in life is dependent on the choices I make. But, it is only because of an excellent therapist was a I able to get to this point in my life. I no longer exist. I feel my life is truly worth living.

[growlycat]

I have a right to seek what I need. I don't have to stay in intolerable circumstances. "Nice" is overrated.